To think spouses get each others' pensions by default?

[VikkiSponge]

My husband has written instructions to the effect that his children (some we have together, some from a previous marriage) should receive his pension when he dies, not me. He tells me I'm unreasonable to expect to receive it and that it would not be tax efficient. AIBU?

Bit weird. Yes it’s normally a spouse.

Depends.

Do you have your own pension? Might the children need the money more? We’re you with him when it was built up?

It would usually be a spouse, but I can imagine many scenarios where that might not be a clear choice.

No it doesn't have to be. He can leave it to whoever he wants. It is common practice to leave your pension to your spouse, but not mandatory or default.

My pension and death in service go to my kids. Especially since my partner and I each have our own children. What I worked for is not going to end up going to some other person's child.

His goes to his, mine goes to mine.

All mine will go to DD. DP (civil partnership, so it does count), will not get a thing. DP's will go to his brother as DP has no children.

No not always. Different people have different set ups.

But it's horrible for your spouse to do that without your agreement.

Yup exactly the same here.

Why wouldn't it be tax efficient? Are you well over the £1mil. inheritance tax threshold? In which case I can see his point. Better to use savings.

I can't choose who I leave my pension to. It's partner or dependant children only.

No it isn’t. His money, his choice. He doesn’t need her agreement. Not horrible at all.

He has children with you and children from a previous relationship? It sounds like he’s split it between all his children which is reasonable.

Death in service and survivor pension goes to my husband, the house goes to my children.

Too much risk of sideways disinheritance otherwise.

If you marry there’s generally an expectation of shared/merged finances.

If he died now, would you be able to manage the bills etc without his income? That makes a difference to me.

I’m firmly in the camp that it’s his money, his choice.
Especially when he has children that are not yours.

What is the plan for the rest of the estate?
Are you trying to grab £50K of pension savings for example, when you’re in line for a £500K house that he paid for before he met you?

But my personal opinion aside, please explain your tax comment. One of the benefits of saving into a DC pension is that is sits outside of your estate for IHT purposes, and if you die behind 75 the person inheriting it - spouse or child -will pay no tax.

So what kind of pension is it, whats happening to his whole estate, and what do you mean about tax?

It depends what kind of pension it is. Some will be payable to a spouse (although there may be limits for example if you only recently married or if you married at a certain time).

Other pension products you can nominate anyone.

“If you marry there’s generally an expectation of shared/merged finances.”

Not in a marriage where there are pre-existing children there isn’t!

My DC pension will go entirely to my children, not they’d stepfather. He’s actually going to get far more than then from my DB pension as my scheme rules only allow for a particular benefit to go to a spouse. It was actually a big part of the reason we married! If my DB could have gone to my children, I would have opted for that too.

Not everyone will make that decision - but pre-existing children absolutely changes “general expectation”.

Where's the expectation of shared finances on marriage if you've separate children and are older when marrying?

If I got married again I'd never share finances and I'd have a prenup clearly setting out who brought what and who would leave with what in the event of divorce (yes I know - not binding but goes to intention).

I worked too hard for what I have for it to go anywhere other than my children.

My dad nominated me to receive his. His partner (not my mother) has her own money - surely that’s pretty normal these days?

So a second marriage for one or both of you?

Why should you get it?? Do you have your own pension?

You could only leave any lump sum to children, the yearly income can go to a nominated person but if ther are more than say 10 years younger the pension is reduced. I read an article where a woman some 25 years younger than her husband and married thirty or so years had her pension reduced by 25%, totally unexpected.

Can someone explain the basics of this please? DP and I both have private workplace pensions, at the moment his is much bigger than mine.

We've both nominated each other to inherit our pensions should we die. Does the beneficiary inherit the whole lot? Or does part of the pension die with the payee?

Has anyone got any direct experience of what actually happens?

I'm surprised you can nominate someone much younger. If those children aren't dependent then for how long will they get the pension? Can they then pass it down?

In my family people tend to “go a bit funny” in late old age and to disinherit their children in favour of someone pretty random. I suspect your husband is trying to ensure that no matter what decisions you make, or whether you remarry, his money goes to his children. I kinda agree with him unless you’d be destitute without the pension, in which case surely life insurance is the answer.

YABU to think something that isn't true to answer your question

It's not something that has an answer as each scheme has rules, the answer depends on what those rules are. No right or wrong answer

I'm a single parent and mine goes to my children, I wouldnt chnage that if I was to get married in the future

I think the OP is possibly talking about the fund rather than an actual pension, as you say that wouldn't be paid to children