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AIBU?

To think why it’s considered normal to be able to hear neighbours through the wall?

128 replies

Housingstockrubbish · 15/10/2022 09:49

Why is the UK housing stock so rubbish and we do we put up with it? My whole life I’ve lived in all sorts of properties but the one thing in common is that I ALWAYS hear my neighbours through the wall.

It just seems to be accepted! I would love to be able to sit in my house with a book and cup of tea without hearing my neighbour screaming at her kids. My first house I had to also hear my neighbour screaming at her kids.

Friends and work colleagues are always telling me how they’ve had their sleep interrupted by noisy neighbours but we all
just think it’s because we need to live in a detached house despite there being few detached houses at expensive prices!

Ive looked into sound proofing but it seems like quite a niche area you’d expect there to be loads of businesses everywhere and especially locally, offering to put neighbours out their misery but there’s none where I live.

It just seems to be a case of put up and shut up. My friends from other European countries are shocked at the cardboard houses we live in!

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Am I being unreasonable?

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Abraxan · 15/10/2022 15:48

I've lived in a modern apartment and a modern end townhouse.

In the apartment we never heard out neighbours nor those above or below.

The only time we hear our current neighbours is very occasionally if they are doing diy involving power rooms or the odd time if one of their dogs are barking particularly loud, but that's not often at all. W me never heard talking, the TV, music etc.

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Sugarplumfairy65 · 15/10/2022 17:20

1960's stone semi here. We don't hear a peep from next door unless they are having work done.
I've found that stone built is better for soundproofing than brick

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whereeverilaymycat · 15/10/2022 18:47

@InCheesusWeTrust I imagine it's to share the chimney and therefore cheaper. When the houses were built all the fires would be working and used.

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InCheesusWeTrust · 15/10/2022 19:39

whereeverilaymycat · 15/10/2022 18:47

@InCheesusWeTrust I imagine it's to share the chimney and therefore cheaper. When the houses were built all the fires would be working and used.

Ah! Haven't thought about chimney. Thanks

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NellesVilla · 15/10/2022 20:34

I’m so lucky to currently be living in a detached property (work deal).

I have lived in several places- some detached, some semi- and a mixed bad really. Most new builds pretty good, homes from ‘30s v bad. Once I had a loud TV on 24/7 one side, and then screaming brats running up and down the stairs all day and having tantrums the other.

I honestly feel that the quieter you, the louder they get if that makes sense? Like, they can’t hear you so almost forget you’re there and so start acting if they were in a detached property so can make as much noise as they please? But v annoying!

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Tootsiecat · 15/10/2022 22:23

I installed soundproofing years ago and, sorry to say, it was totally ineffective. Cost me a fortune, too.

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TheMoops · 15/10/2022 22:27

Tootsiecat · 15/10/2022 22:23

I installed soundproofing years ago and, sorry to say, it was totally ineffective. Cost me a fortune, too.

Oh really? We're considering doing this and have spent the evening googling it while inconsiderate neighbour and dickhead boyfriend have yet another pissed up karaoke session.

I was hoping it would be a solution!

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CanadianMoose · 15/10/2022 22:29

YANBU

Our last neighbours had a beagle that would howl and bark whenever NDNs were out. When they were home he'd bark outside instead. We had footballs against the fence, against our house (staggered) and they played football indoors against the party wall.

One night, I heard the NDN doing a loud poo.

Kitchen cupboards, them shouting, their TV, music, her shit singing, their indoor football games.

No self awareness whatsoever.

So glad I sold the house to a woman with 3 football mad boys and a yappy dog. 😁
My noisy ex NDN has her house up for sale now due to excessive noise. I bumped into her at the doctors and she told me all about.

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LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 15/10/2022 22:30

Living in a new build detached I could hear the neighbours through 2 walls, 14 feet away talking to each other!!

Now in a terraced and in one room I can occasionally hear music but otherwise not a peep. I’d never have a new build again and I don’t know why they’re so sought after

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CanadianMoose · 15/10/2022 22:31

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 15/10/2022 22:30

Living in a new build detached I could hear the neighbours through 2 walls, 14 feet away talking to each other!!

Now in a terraced and in one room I can occasionally hear music but otherwise not a peep. I’d never have a new build again and I don’t know why they’re so sought after

Omg! Was that Persimmon by any chance?

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HighlandPony · 15/10/2022 22:37

Most of the housing stock is old. I’m in a sixty year old ex council house with stud partition walls. They might hear my screaming at my kids but if next door keep shagging like that they’re going to have a litter of their own pretty soon. It’s seen as normal because it’s more common to live in an older terraced house than to live in a detached.

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LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 15/10/2022 22:43

CanadianMoose · 15/10/2022 22:31

Omg! Was that Persimmon by any chance?

It was!!

I mean I had LOUD neighbours but they were a whole 2 people + 2 brick walls away!

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Fifthtimelucky · 15/10/2022 22:53

I have lived in three terraced houses, all in London.

With the first, we never heard anyone.

With the second, we never heard the people on either side, but the house had been converted into flats and we sometimes heard the neighbours who lived mainly downstairs, because their bedroom was on the same floor as our bathroom.

With the third, we never heard anyone.

We hear much more of our neighbours now we live in a detached house, even though we have double glazing, which we didn't in any of the other three.

I think that's because: 1) there are often children playing out in gardens or the road, 2) more people living here have dogs, 3) it's generally a quiet area so there is no general background noise of traffic that might disguise the noise of neighbours (one of the previous houses was on a major road and one was not far from Heathrow); 4) because of that, we often have the windows open.

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lllllllllll · 15/10/2022 22:56

I live in an Edwardian terrace in London and have never heard my neighbours. On one side there’s a young couple with a baby who they say cries a lot, but I have never heard a thing.

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cakewench · 15/10/2022 22:58

I agree, op. We could have happily lived in our Dutch flat (apartment building so had neighbours on all sides, above and below) forever it was so silent, but when we moved here we could hear every movement of our neighbour in our terrace house, and he was a very quiet man! Just paper thin walls. Two more similar rented properties later and had had to give in and buy a detached house.

I’ve lived in 5 countries, I could go on but I agree with the above, people here just believe it can’t be helped and so it is accepted.

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Givenhud · 16/10/2022 03:14

We live in a semi next to a family with 3 small kids and the mother speaks in a very babyish voice for some reason (except when she's screaming at the kids). We can hear them very clearly in the living room attached to theirs but in our bedroom we can't hear a thing. The only difference is we have fitted wardrobes in there which must make a huge difference.

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pinheadlarry · 16/10/2022 03:34

Yes i agree, it all comes down to cost, they want to spend as little as possible to build and then rent it out at extortionate prices

Unfortunately the lack of soundproofing also means poor insulation, so you get homes that are hot as hell in the summer and cold as ice in the winters
There should be some sort of law to keep living standards at an acceptable level but we all know thats never going to happen

I can hear my neighbors cough, yawn and fart, the neighbor above me sighs really loud
i can hear their phone alarms and the clicks of light switches,
i know what time of morning my neighbors usually to go to the toilet
My lifes been semi controlled by noise
I have dd she has autism so ive spent years stressing over her meltdowns being loud and her diving off furniture on to floor, stomping around
ive spent 6 yrs saying "shhhh shh the neighborsss"
And i worry what they think when my dd screams and cries "MUMMY NOOO" when im washing her hair
So it definitely effects our quality of life because i hate having our lives controlled by noise levels, i wish i could just let my dd run around and scream as much as she wants too

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Housingstockrubbish · 16/10/2022 09:59

Does anyone ever wonder why they never mention noise from neighbours in TV shows like Coronation Street?

They are tiny little terraces obviously built for the working class centuries ago and are now full of large families including one with about 5 kids in it with loud TVs and music systems. But no storyline ever about being disturbed by noise!

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Housingstockrubbish · 16/10/2022 10:02

Currently listening to my neighbour smashing the skirting board with her mop, she’s been cleaning since 7a.m. How can a 2005 house be built that you can hear your neighbour cleaning? And this is considered acceptable?

Im assuming no government official with responsibility for UK housing has ever had to endure living liking this of surely the regulations would have been changed.

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InCheesusWeTrust · 16/10/2022 10:06

I knew when my neigbours came down with covid before they even told me.

In one house we basically never did it in a bedroom because you could hear everything! And it's ruined it honestly.

Lockdown was the worst. As much as I love my neighbours there was no escape. None. It was terrible constant noise. Plus they did lots diy. I ended up with massive chest pains at one point. They are lovely people but fuck me. Apparently they can't hear anything from my side!

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JorisBonson · 16/10/2022 10:31

I've been awake since 6.45 thanks to NDN kids screaming. NDN has now decided to play the radio at full blast to drown out the screaming.

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Mrsherdwick · 16/10/2022 10:40

I’ve lived in a city apartment (U.K.) and never ever heard our neighbours. Currently living in an apartment in Spain and can hear our noisy neighbours.

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Abracadabra12345 · 20/10/2022 13:01

So glad I sold the house to a woman with 3 football mad boys and a yappy dog. 😁

My noisy ex NDN has her house up for sale now due to excessive noise. I bumped into her at the doctors and she told me all about.


OMG karma! Love it 😆

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dimstacie · 21/10/2022 10:34

JorisBonson · 16/10/2022 10:31

I've been awake since 6.45 thanks to NDN kids screaming. NDN has now decided to play the radio at full blast to drown out the screaming.

Sounds like my neighbour, though their screeching starts later on weekend mornings. Mine was playing loud rap music with swearing on Sunday morning, and with their children around. They're unbelievably stupid.

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xogossipgirlxo · 21/10/2022 10:37

Not sure who your European friends are, but my sister can hear her neighbours in Germany (her neighbour said her, and her husband are walking too loud! and asked if they can fit carpets to reduce noise), I could hear my neighbours in Poland too.

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