Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this wrong?

24 replies

ILoveMonday · 15/10/2022 01:02

I was out this evening with partner (who used to work in restaurant). We had an early sitting in a restaurant. Anyway, family of 5 comes in and one is so little they're in a buggy.

The restaurant manager started making a fuss about the fact they didn't mention they were bringing a buggy. It was early evening and was quiet in the restaurant. The manager was professional but quite curt - I thought he was a bit rude and seemed really uncomfortable. DP used to work in the restaurant industry and said apparently most restaurants don't like having young children / babies on a Friday/Saturday night because of the potential disruption and they don't like their regulars to be uncomfortable.

I would have taken his point but the baby was perfectly behaved throughout and as I say it wasn't during the peak hours. I just want to know, is this really a thing?

OP posts:
NewIdeasToday · 15/10/2022 01:04

Your DP who works in the restaurant industry says it’s a thing. So what do you expect random users here to add?

Original poster
ILoveMonday · 15/10/2022 01:11

I've seen families eat out on a weekend evening so I was really surprised to learn this.

OP posts:
HighlandPony · 15/10/2022 01:19

Not where I’m from it’s not but bigger towns and cities I suppose it might be. Kids aren’t allowed at the bar but it’s not enforced rigidly and they’re not allowed in the snug but tbh there’s a unwritten rule about women in there too but kids are fine. It’s the buggies that are the issue because our two places are small inside

PeppaPigsBonnet · 15/10/2022 01:41

As I understand it, it isn't the child that's the problem it's the buggy. They can be quite large nowadays.
It doesn't matter so much in the daytime when places aren't so full. However any time the restaurant is full the buggy could block access to an escape route. These need to be kept free of obstacles in case there is a need to evacuate the building quickly.
There's whole raft of fire legislation that commercial premises have to follow for the benefit of their customers. They aren't being awkward for the sake of it.

Daisymae55 · 15/10/2022 01:48

Whenever we book a table out we always mention we’ll have the buggy - more due to being given a table with enough space for this not so much what their opinion of my bringing a baby is. No one so far has gotten funny with us taking baby out on a Friday early evening. We even did a walk in at a (family friendly) restaurant one Saturday and none of the staff seemed to care

FistFullOfRegrets · 15/10/2022 01:55

NewIdeasToday · 15/10/2022 01:04

Your DP who works in the restaurant industry says it’s a thing. So what do you expect random users here to add?

Presumably many other opinions not just that of one bloke!

@ILoveMonday I think it largely depends on the type of place it is. Pizza express type place, no bother, small intimate bar/restaurant probably wouldn't be thrilled, but hey -ho, tough as long as the baby isn't screaming'!

Kanaloa · 15/10/2022 02:05

Sounds a bit OTT. I’m not a fan of customer service people (or anyone) making a fuss of things in this way. If buggies aren’t allowed then say ‘sorry, the policy is no prams or buggies at this restaurant’ and then the people (and their money) away. If they are allowed then shut up about it instead of making everyone feel awkward.

If it had been me I would have just said ‘okay, I didn’t realise buggies were a big problem for you - we’ll go somewhere else instead, never mind’ and left. I can’t be bothered with paying for service to be whinged at that I’m inconveniencing them.

livealatte · 15/10/2022 03:47

It's probably more that when they booked it they said table for 4, and turned up 4 adults and a baby/ child so that's 5.

The amount of people who don't think their kid needs a seat at a table in a restaurant when booking is ridiculous to be honest.

Friend of mine said she had a table of 4 booked for 7pm last weekend, they turned up with 4 adults and 6 kids and couldn't work out what the issue was and were annoyed that they couldn't magic up a table for 10 at peak time on Saturday night. She says it happens way more often than you'd think

furrytampon · 15/10/2022 04:14

HighlandPony · 15/10/2022 01:19

Not where I’m from it’s not but bigger towns and cities I suppose it might be. Kids aren’t allowed at the bar but it’s not enforced rigidly and they’re not allowed in the snug but tbh there’s a unwritten rule about women in there too but kids are fine. It’s the buggies that are the issue because our two places are small inside

an ‘unwritten rule about women’ being in the snug? What the fuck?

Teaandcrumpets95 · 15/10/2022 04:47

I worked in a restaurant for 2.5 years, and it was family friendly so the kid wouldn't be the issue.

However, we only had a handful of tables that a high chair/ pram could be seated at without being a fire escape issue so at peak times it was very difficult to find them a seat and would result in longer wait times.

It was always nice to be told at booking (if there was one) so we could set the correct table aside 😊 when it was quiet (ie lunch times) I'd try to keep these places free for high chairs/ prams/ wheelchairs if possible.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 15/10/2022 07:20

furrytampon · 15/10/2022 04:14

an ‘unwritten rule about women’ being in the snug? What the fuck?

Show quote history

Yes, I thought this. Almost as if I had inadvertently time-travelled backed to the 1940s...

girlmom21 · 15/10/2022 07:23

Is it a family-friendly restaurant or an upmarket type place?

It's just courteous to let them know if you're bringing a pushchair.

HighlandPony · 15/10/2022 10:17

furrytampon · 15/10/2022 04:14

an ‘unwritten rule about women’ being in the snug? What the fuck?

Show quote history

Oh aye. That’s mens territory. It actually used to be a written rule but it’s still stuck to now. Most working mens clubs all had a men only room back in the day. Some of them haven’t changed their ways. Not that fussed tho really

furrytampon · 15/10/2022 14:57

HighlandPony · 15/10/2022 10:17

Oh aye. That’s mens territory. It actually used to be a written rule but it’s still stuck to now. Most working mens clubs all had a men only room back in the day. Some of them haven’t changed their ways. Not that fussed tho really

Show quote history

you’re not that fussed by sexism? Righto

sweeneytoddsrazor · 15/10/2022 15:47

You should mention at booking you will be bringing a buggy or a wheelchair. Both need to be placed where they won't be blocking escape routes.

HighlandPony · 15/10/2022 17:53

furrytampon · 15/10/2022 14:57

you’re not that fussed by sexism? Righto

Show quote history

It’s basically the equivalent of not being fussed about the sexism of mens toilets. Im nowhere near a feminine ladylike woman and even I don’t want to go in there. It’s full of grumpy stinky old men playing darts and cards and watching horse racing with the door wedged open so they can smoke in the doorway and not get wet outside. Oh aye let’s all fire in there, what a great fun night oot that will be. Hoo rah!!

Theroad · 15/10/2022 17:57

That's a weird thing for a staff member to whinge about u less it's a teeny tiny restaurant? Or a very fancy one? I would be annoyed if I was a paying customer and made to feel bad about a bloody buggy? I've worked in hospitality (admittedly years ago now) but there's no way we would make customers feel bad for bringing their baby along.

furrytampon · 15/10/2022 18:52

HighlandPony · 15/10/2022 17:53

It’s basically the equivalent of not being fussed about the sexism of mens toilets. Im nowhere near a feminine ladylike woman and even I don’t want to go in there. It’s full of grumpy stinky old men playing darts and cards and watching horse racing with the door wedged open so they can smoke in the doorway and not get wet outside. Oh aye let’s all fire in there, what a great fun night oot that will be. Hoo rah!!

Show quote history

you’re massively missing the point but ok, as long as it suits you!

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 15/10/2022 18:59

I've always emailed to ask about bringing a buggy or needing a high chair as a courtesy before going anywhere to keep any disruption to a minimum and hope that they give us a table With a bit more space

HighlandPony · 15/10/2022 19:43

furrytampon · 15/10/2022 18:52

you’re massively missing the point but ok, as long as it suits you!

Show quote history

In not massively missing the point. If it was somewhere decent I’d probably be miffed but it’s not.

PeppaPigsBonnet · 16/10/2022 00:58

@furrytampon an ‘unwritten rule about women’ being in the snug?

It's common in Scotland.

neverhaveiDEVI · 16/10/2022 01:20

PeppaPigsBonnet · 16/10/2022 00:58

@furrytampon an ‘unwritten rule about women’ being in the snug?

It's common in Scotland.

it’s not acceptable. And I’m Scottish

funzeny · 16/10/2022 02:59

Just fold the Buggy up out the way. Or find a corner out the way if they want to keep it up. You can't prioritize blocking up a room for a baby

Kanaloa · 16/10/2022 12:00

PeppaPigsBonnet · 16/10/2022 00:58

@furrytampon an ‘unwritten rule about women’ being in the snug?

It's common in Scotland.

Nowhere I’ve ever been or lived in Scotland had ‘unwritten rules’ about ‘men’s territory.’ Although to be fair I’d never frequent a place that didn’t want me there, so I guess I just wouldn’t have gone there.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page