If your DP has bad breath, do you tell them?

[KvotheTheBloodless]

Inspired by sitting near a colleague who could knock out a rhino with his awful stinky breath - I can smell it from 2m away I know he's married, I can't understand why his spouse hasn't said anything - she's expecting a child, I don't get how she can bear to sleep in the same room as him, let alone DTD!

I would never let DH leave the house smelling bad, nor would he let me. Growing up, my family always told eachother if one of us needed a wash or to brush our teeth again, surely that's normal in most families (especially ones with teens!).

Am I missing something, or AIBU to think it's bizarre to live with someone who frequently has awful breath and not tell them?

How do you know his wife isn't telling him?

There's another thread where the OPs partner doesn't brush his teeth. Maybe this is him and she's become immune to the stink.

I don't know, OP.

Yes because it can be sign of ilness.
I once had sinus infection which cause god so bad breath... It can be lots of things, some more serious than others so yeah absolutely.

It's hard to adress with non family memebrs though, is it

How do you know she hasn’t said anything

or that there is a reason for it.

My DH has a few teeth that need to be removed but we can’t get an appt for them to come out with the NHS and haven’t been able to for ages, so his breath is sometimes ripe. No point mentioning it as it’s such a sensitive topic for him. Same applies for me, I suffer with tonsil stones, so if I have one in development my breath can sometimes not be ideal.

Haha i wonder too. I once asked a woman to switch seats with her male companion while he was in the loo while in a theatre as his breath was making me and the person on the far side of me heave. How could she bear it?

I know two people who are married to spouses with dreadful bad breath. It's not just occasionally which we all get, it constant. Even after cleaning their teeth they smell awful. It permeates all the space around them. I know from conversations that both people are aware of their breath and have tried various things to try to sort it out but it's still there.

@ReadtheReviews blimey, what did she say when you said that?

A colleague, presumably, has tonsil stones. I do wonder if that’s why she has a fast turnover of new boyfriends.

Given the cost of dental care, I stand over my teens and insist until I am satisfied they are clean and fresh.

I'm less bothered about the smell, than of the price of fillings.

Yep. I have morning sickness and to me he hums a lot at the moment 🙊

Yes i tell him to have a drink or brush his teeth
It's usually if he's thirty he has a smell

Same. My husbands back teeth are non existent. Just rotten stumps now.

He's had several appointments cancelled, been going on years now. No pain so not an emergency, plus he needs xrays which there's never appointments for.

His breath hums sometimes too. I feel bad, I Tey not to react. It's not his fault.

:(

How do you know she hasn't said anything? Bad breath can be down to a medical condition.

She did, then about ten minutes later said, sorry to offend your delicate sense of smell.
Was still glad I'd done it as it was really making us both feel sick every time he laughed (it was a stand up comic). And I did do it without hurting his feelings - she didnt explain why she'd switched when he got back.
As for the op, I would tell someone close to me, yes and I ask them re. Mine.

Name change for obvious reasons. Please be careful when mentioning this condition, taking it upon yourself to make comments etc. Most people know when they have bad breath and would do anything to cure it.
Mine is caused by a combination of an auto immune condition, a jaw injury and a small lower jaw. It is not curable, only manageable by paying for expensive dental interventions, antibiotics and equipment. Believe me, I frequently have a zero plaque count as my hygiene routine is so thorough. My dentist is wonderful, even when I sob through humiliation in his surgery.
I have pleaded with him to remove all my teeth but unfortunately the infection risk is too great and my jaw would not support dentures, I would eventually look disfigured. I have considered suicide many times, and will again if things get worse.
Enduring peoples sneers and jokes is awful. I have had items such as toothpaste and doggy chews placed on my desk at work. To be honest, I welcomed the covid masks.
Anyway, be sensitive to others suffering. It could just as easily be you.

H was like this with his heavy smoking. I did tell him and could never bear to kiss him. He brushed his teeth before bed otherwise we wouldnt have any children.

My ex was told repeatedly by his dentist that he had halitosis due to gum disease and he needed to floss but he ignored this advice, he used to complain about me not being keen to kiss him, I did once mention what the dentist said when he was complaining about this but he ignored that too.. some people are very difficult to influence. Conversely one of my friends had tonsil issues for a while and is always very conscious about her breath even though it's fine.

How did you word it?

@Thinkcarefully What is the name of the condition? Why is having a jaw injury and small jaw causing bad breath? What is the source of the smell I'm not understanding.

I always tell DP, because it gives him advance warning that he's got a dental infection somewhere that he needs to deal with, about two days before it would start to actually hurt.

Genetically shitty teeth and gums, some bad 70s dentistry, and one absolute butcher of a dentist have left him with a mouth that needs far more upkeep and treatment than mine does.

It smells like actual dogshit when it's bad, but I try not to show my revulsion because it's not his fault. Poor sod spends a lot of time and money on his crumbling teeth.

@PottyMouthkaka Sorry, just seen your message as don't always look at mumsnet. I have a condition where my immune system attacks any small amount of plaque causing inflammation and pockets. My mouth is very clean but this inflammation causes infection and smell. I also have bone damage in my jaw which makes the problem worse due to recurring cysts. Hope that helps you to understand my problems, not sure if you asked due to concern or disbelief but good luck to you anyway.