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AIBU?

To think there must be something I can do

21 replies

Charcy · 14/10/2022 08:06

I don't know if this is an AIBU or not but stick with me as I'd really appreciate some advice.

I've just had my first baby. Prior to her, I had a relatively ok job. Salary of 42k plus benefits, working for a large hospitality chain as a manager.

So, I'm not due to return to work until next year, but you know, cost of living and that. However, I'm not sure I want to return to what I was doing (evenings and weekends are going to be almost impossible to cover childcare wise as no family help at all).

So I've been looking at jobs. I am efficient, organised, work well under pressure, have good leadership skills, business acumen, financial skills, etc. I'm not unskilled basically. However, trying to find a job that isn't admin (not that there's anything wrong with that but I just need something a bit more taxing) is proving almost impossible as I don't have "experience" in certain fields.

I guess my AIBU is am I unreasonable to think I can get a new job/career prospects, with over 10 years of hospitality management experience, that isn't minimum wage, and isn't in hospitality?

Any advice welcome

OP posts:
LickThis · 14/10/2022 08:09

If your skills are transferable yes but there are lots of parents in your position so you'll have alot of competition
Congratulations on your baby though

underneaththeash · 14/10/2022 08:11

What do you want to do? It's achievable, but you'll need to go in at entry level and probably take a salary cut.

caringcarer · 14/10/2022 08:12

Civil service would be a match but not sure they are recruiting. You could do a search for civil service business manager.

sandytooth · 14/10/2022 08:13

Don't dismiss the admin roles. Some of them can be pretty complex and a good way to work yourself into a new sector if you do want to progress.

Coraline353 · 14/10/2022 08:38

underneaththeash · 14/10/2022 08:11

What do you want to do? It's achievable, but you'll need to go in at entry level and probably take a salary cut.

Don't do this! You're a manager in a competitive and incredibly busy industry. Onwards and upwards for your career.

I left a media company after 13 years when I had my 2nd. It was a really niche job and the job title baffled anyone outside of that company but I was a manager of a deadline driven and busy team. My career coach (part of redundancy package) and an amazing mentor I found through LinkedIn connections both talked me out of that mindset. No reason to take a step back at all!

Don't research jobs yet. Scan job sites for interesting companies or sectors who are advertising even if it's not a job you can do. Start making a list of who caught your eye and why. Why that company? Why that sector? When you begin to get a sense of where you might like to work then start looking for jobs in that sector.

Also cultivate connections and deep dive into LinkedIn. Do you know anyone in those companies? Any 2nd connections who could introduce you? Anyone else who left hospitality and doing something interesting?

Treat it like a project and a massive opportunity to spread your wings. As a minimum go for management jobs with similar salaries but you may even be able to move up.

I totally moved sector and career into more senior role with slight increase in salary (moved to charity sector so pay not as good in general) and have since moved up too.

You can definitely find something!

KangarooKenny · 14/10/2022 08:40

When you have a baby, fitting in childcare becomes more important than the job IME.

FelicityFlops · 14/10/2022 09:00

Are you computer-literate?
A lovely colleague of mine started out in hospitality and then switched to business analysis. I met her when we both worked for a large bank, although neither of us was actually employed by the bank as I am freelance and she worked for a consultancy.

Charcy · 14/10/2022 09:25

Coraline353 · 14/10/2022 08:38

Don't do this! You're a manager in a competitive and incredibly busy industry. Onwards and upwards for your career.

I left a media company after 13 years when I had my 2nd. It was a really niche job and the job title baffled anyone outside of that company but I was a manager of a deadline driven and busy team. My career coach (part of redundancy package) and an amazing mentor I found through LinkedIn connections both talked me out of that mindset. No reason to take a step back at all!

Don't research jobs yet. Scan job sites for interesting companies or sectors who are advertising even if it's not a job you can do. Start making a list of who caught your eye and why. Why that company? Why that sector? When you begin to get a sense of where you might like to work then start looking for jobs in that sector.

Also cultivate connections and deep dive into LinkedIn. Do you know anyone in those companies? Any 2nd connections who could introduce you? Anyone else who left hospitality and doing something interesting?

Treat it like a project and a massive opportunity to spread your wings. As a minimum go for management jobs with similar salaries but you may even be able to move up.

I totally moved sector and career into more senior role with slight increase in salary (moved to charity sector so pay not as good in general) and have since moved up too.

You can definitely find something!

Thank you! This is the kind of inspiration I was hoping for I guess. I know I could take a pay cut and start at the bottom anywhere but I've worked for my company for 17 years and worked hard to get to where I am. Child was a (happy) accident and I pushed so hard in my career/industry as I never saw a time where I'd be needing a "9 to 5" but I still want the challenge and responsibility my job brings. It's a huge part of my identity which I don't want to particularly lose.

I think this is great advice, I'm not desperate right now as still receiving maternity pay etc so looking at the types of jobs and companies is definitely a good starting point and nice to hear it's possible! Thank you 😊

OP posts:
Charcy · 14/10/2022 09:26

I am. Yes. Worth a look thank you 😊😊

OP posts:
Charcy · 14/10/2022 09:28

KangarooKenny · 14/10/2022 08:40

When you have a baby, fitting in childcare becomes more important than the job IME.

Agreed, it would be nice to find a balance between being able to do something that still brings me job satisfaction and raising my child. I don't want to sacrifice my career. I've worked incredibly hard and I genuinely love what I do, but unfortunately it just isn't feasible to continue.

OP posts:
Charcy · 14/10/2022 09:32

sandytooth · 14/10/2022 08:13

Don't dismiss the admin roles. Some of them can be pretty complex and a good way to work yourself into a new sector if you do want to progress.

I don't mean to sound dismissive of admin roles at all, but I am getting on a bit now (I'm an accidental older first time Mum lol) to completely start at the bottom and I reached a really high level in my current industry and want to just shift rather than start over if possible.
My job is a huge part of my identity and I thrive on the pressure and responsibilities of a higher level role.

OP posts:
Charcy · 14/10/2022 09:32

caringcarer · 14/10/2022 08:12

Civil service would be a match but not sure they are recruiting. You could do a search for civil service business manager.

Thank you. Just stumbled across a couple of roles in my area as well!

OP posts:
Youcancallmeirrelevant · 14/10/2022 09:33

Check your t&c's about whether you would need to pay back any enhanced maternity pay if you don't return.

Civil service is always recruiting or use a recruitment consultant/company to help

Charcy · 14/10/2022 09:34

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 14/10/2022 09:33

Check your t&c's about whether you would need to pay back any enhanced maternity pay if you don't return.

Civil service is always recruiting or use a recruitment consultant/company to help

Yes I have a 10% enhancement that's repayable but I only got it for 3 months so although a condition, it's not untenable. Thank you

OP posts:
thesandwich · 14/10/2022 09:36

Have a look at the wha5 Color is your parachute book and website- grea5 advice for career changers.
advice by pp about using LinkedIn is excellent.

Coraline353 · 14/10/2022 09:37

I should also say that my new role is more flexible than my old so you don't need to sacrifice flexibility for job progression or vice versa. It's not easy but it is possible. I work 0.8 now but was full time originally but with a lot of flex to work from home and around school events etc even pre-Covid.

If you're not under immediate pressure which I wasn't either then you can really take your time to do the research and groundwork.

Charcy · 14/10/2022 09:41

thesandwich · 14/10/2022 09:36

Have a look at the wha5 Color is your parachute book and website- grea5 advice for career changers.
advice by pp about using LinkedIn is excellent.

Thank you! Will do. And yes I'm pretty active on LinkedIn so might need to go digging for what other ex hospitality folks have done haha.

OP posts:
Charcy · 14/10/2022 09:42

Coraline353 · 14/10/2022 09:37

I should also say that my new role is more flexible than my old so you don't need to sacrifice flexibility for job progression or vice versa. It's not easy but it is possible. I work 0.8 now but was full time originally but with a lot of flex to work from home and around school events etc even pre-Covid.

If you're not under immediate pressure which I wasn't either then you can really take your time to do the research and groundwork.

You're like my Friday inspiration thank you!

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 14/10/2022 09:48

Brilliant advice from Coraline.

I’m just wondering - are you parenting alone? Because if you’re a 2-parent family, and you loved you hospitality career, then why couldn’t you continue in it even if evenings and weekends were required? Obviously if you’re a sole parent this is impossible, but then 9-5 jobs also have their issues when DC get to school age and sometimes shift work can be an advantage at that point.

Just throwing it out there - are you completely sure you want a new career?

Coraline353 · 14/10/2022 09:53

I got brilliant support and advice from people I barely knew at all when I career changed so like to pay it forward if I can! It was really amazing how many women offered to meet me for coffee and have an informal chat about careers and moving roles. Do reach out to your network for a coffee as a starting point.

Charcy · 14/10/2022 13:47

NoSquirrels · 14/10/2022 09:48

Brilliant advice from Coraline.

I’m just wondering - are you parenting alone? Because if you’re a 2-parent family, and you loved you hospitality career, then why couldn’t you continue in it even if evenings and weekends were required? Obviously if you’re a sole parent this is impossible, but then 9-5 jobs also have their issues when DC get to school age and sometimes shift work can be an advantage at that point.

Just throwing it out there - are you completely sure you want a new career?

Not solo no, but OH also works in hospitality as well as working around his DC from a previous relationship so unless I can work part time (which is still in discussion with my HR) then unfortunately it will be a move. Hopefully It can be an onward and upwards move in the long run 😊 and yes some excellent advice that I'm already acting upon 💕

OP posts:
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