Mil issues: where are your mother's? Don't they advise you?

[TheHouseonHauntedHill]

Unfortunately my darling mother had passed away by the time I met DH but I know she suffered with my fathers my mother.

I often wonder what advice she would give me?

My df was a bit sycophantic and didn't quite get it with mil....

He didn't understand for instance what was the issue with a mil who wanted to choose and buy a pram without me.
Or buy 3 beautiful baby grows and go on and on about them but not want to equally fawn over baby clothes I had got for my own baby?

If my dds encounter Someone like my mil who shares the traits of many difficult mils I will be strongly urging them not to take any abuse!

Where are the mum's supporting their daughters?

I would never let anyone treat my dd how my mil treated me.

You do realise your DD would be an adult right? An adult who has the responsibility to deal with these things herself? It’s extremely strange that you would think it’s acceptable for you to do this and I’m guessing you don’t have adult kids and are viewing them as the babies/little kids you currently have?

My mum died before I had children. My mother in law is very very sweet and helps out but I wouldnt choose to raise my kids her way. Luckily she doesn’t interfere. We get on fine but we’re not close in the slightest.

I do it all my way and she is a lovely nan that my children have a lovely relationship with.

I desperately miss my mum though and spend my entire life winging it.

My PIL are way nicer than my parents

"My DM said to combine the worst qualities of any man’s parents and see if you could live with it…as a worst case scenario. Advice I will pass onto my DSs".

Sound advice. My DH has some of his parents annoying traits.

The problem with my mum is that she never had PILs as my dad's parents died before they met. She also thinks the sun shines out of my arse (it doesn't), but she would be very unlikely to give any decent advice as she would be too biased in my favour. Luckily my MIL is a decent person and we've never had an issue.