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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Life Admin, what is it?

588 replies

OneSugarOneSpoon · 13/10/2022 21:37

Have seen the phrase a few times now, where people have little free time as they're doing this " life admin" most days
What exactly is it? My bills go by direct debit, shopping on line, kids stuff from school doesn't take that long...so am I missing something?

OP posts:
Turnaroundandigone · 13/10/2022 22:07

I have a disabled child. The amount of life admin that needs done in our house is crazy.

trilbydoll · 13/10/2022 22:12

Anything that requires any thought or a decision - weekly food shop whether online or not, do the kids want to continue with xyz activity, what holiday childcare do we need for the next school holiday, Xmas presents, birthday parties, finding tradespeople as and when required, where are we going on holiday next summer, do the kids clothes all still fit. Kids are a big contributor.

None of it is particularly difficult but there are some weeks where I am staring at the Asda app blankly like I have never cooked anything in my life, because I am just so tired!

DilemmaDelilah · 13/10/2022 22:16

It's all the stuff you have to remember to do... Plus the actual doing of it.
so - for us this week...
collecting prescription
sorting out medication for 2 people for the next 5 weeks (morning and evening for 7 days a week)
Remembering to take weekly meds
arranging for a flu jab (me)
Going for a flu jab (OH)
arranging a vets appointment for the cat
taking the cat to the vet
wrapping grandsons birthday presents (previously remembered to find out what he wanted and bought)
Remembering to buy (and buying) ingredients for grandsons birthday cake (after remembering to ask him what kind of cake he wanted)
arranging what time we need to be at daughters with said birthday cake
arranging what time to pick up second grandson to stay overnight
picking up tickets (previously bought) for theatre
booking table in restaurant
reorganizing spare bedroom for second grandson, making bed, finding cuddlies
Remembering to do (and doing) online shopping
meal planning
Remembering to take food for meals out of freezer
Remembering to cook said food... Including working out timings, putting oven on etc
Taking parcel to post
Remembering to put petrol in the car
booking oven clean
Sorting the laundry and doing the washing
Putting the clean laundry away
Remembering to plan my birthday celebration, sorting out the date, inviting guests, working out what to eat, what ingredients were required erc. ( all should have been done by OH..... But werent)
the list is not exhaustive...There are probably lots of other things.
I am younger than my husband, he retired 18 months ago and the idea was that he would take over the life admin while I worked. That hasn't really happened. I still have to do all the remembering and planning even though he does most of the work. It is hard work!

DrFoxtrot · 13/10/2022 22:16

Some days are so busy that replying to texts counts as life admin for me Blush making sure I have a clear 10 mins to read and reply.

southlondoner02 · 13/10/2022 22:17

It is the everyday stuff we all do. But the reason it tends to be discussed so much on here is that there a lot of posters whose partners clearly think none of it is their job. The OP will say they are annoyed they have to do it all. Then a load of posters will pile in and tell them to stop whinging about something which takes no time at all

HeddaGarbled · 13/10/2022 22:17

Today:

I’ve checked my calendar and then with my H to see whether we can go to two things we’ve been invited to and then responded to the two emails inviting us

Internet search to try to find a service provider for an elderly parent

Ordered incontinence product online for same elderly parent

Paid a bill online - not a regular expense so no direct debit

Called round to neighbours to tell them something

Did a rough meal plan and shopping list of what food & household stuff I want for next week so my H can do the online order

I’m sure there’s more - this is just what I remember from today

lannistunut · 13/10/2022 22:18

arethereanyleftatall · 13/10/2022 21:59

I am so bored of similar posts, which just utterly lack empathy.
My life contains no admin therefore nobody else's possibly can. 🤯

Yes I agree - people seem to have no imagination or understanding about other people.

BrieAndChilli · 13/10/2022 22:18

Another thing to consider is that we all have different levels of ability. I’m good at maths so I can work out bills and balance out monthly budget very easily. Other people less so and will take them longer or even by making mistakes/ or understanding they are then making more work for themselves to untangle/make right. What takes you 5 minutes might take someone else 30.

some people might not have online banking or internet at home other than thier phone so have to do things the old fashioned way by filling on forms and doing things like going to the bank to pay in a check rather than scanning on phone app.

people also have different financial situations. Some people can google something and buy the first one the like the look of others have to spend ages looking around just to save £5 because that £5 actually makes a difference to thier budget and how much food they can get that week.

I also find it depends on when you do your ‘life admin’ I often do bits at work in between doing my job so it doesn’t ‘eat’ into my day. When the kids were younger and in preschool on the mornings o could often find my whole morning had been taken up with life admin. Partly because I had more time and partly because it was easy to see how much time I had spent on to rather than 15-20 min here and there through out the day.

Namenic · 13/10/2022 22:18

I find it quite onerous - luckily DH does most of it. Open and sort post, bills, insurance (shopping around for better deal), replacing broken stuff (ok if it is small appliance but car can be tricky - have to juggle money and look at best options - new vs 2nd hand, which model will take all kids car seats etc). Kids activity stuff, kids new clothes, sort kids old clothes (pack away or give to charity), ditto for toys. medical and dental appts. Packing (for visits to relatives). Meal planning, food shop.

i found it a lot easier pre-kids - so I think the kids stuff makes it a lot harder

myexisawanker · 13/10/2022 22:21

FusionChefGeoff · 13/10/2022 21:55

In the last week I have:

Remortgaging
Gas safety certificate
Applying for a new bank account
Budgeting and tracking spending
Prepping for kids parties
Looking around 5 secondary schools
Online research for said schools
Renewing library books
Amazon sale shopping
Researching ring doorbells
Researching hive heating system
Programming current heating system
Online grocery shopping
Posting stuff sold on vinted
Putting stuff up for sale on vinted / FB
Best mates big birthday ideas / research
Holiday research / booking
Weekend in London booking including research and restaurants

No doubt there's a million more other things!!

Out interest do you work? If so full time?

DoodlePug · 13/10/2022 22:22

Some people don't have much admin to do, or just manage to fit it in as and when and it never feels a big deal.

I only noticed after having DC. All the additional stuff takes up so much space in my head I'm overwhelmed with less time to do it.

In all honesty I don't think it's so much the doing, it's easy enough to make a call, fill in a form, pay a bill. It's more the bits that come before: realising it is some thing that needs to be done and finding whatever you need to do it.

It took me 10 years(!!!) to apply for dla even though DS is so clearly SN with early and multiple diagnoses. They wanted a list of all the people he'd seen and when, finding all those letters and appointments, listed 14 I think. Then imagining they'll be difficult and I'll have to appeal and the stress involved with that. £350 a month for 10 years, I hate myself for it but I understand my reaction. It went through with no hitch either.

Illybidol · 13/10/2022 22:22

It is really making just normal chores that everyone does without thinking in to a huge deal. Along with cooking massive bowls of pasta for hollow legged teen son and friends. Full time job that! That was genuinely used as an excuse not to work on here once.

TenoringBehind · 13/10/2022 22:25

Everyday dull crap that you have to do.

The phrase ‘life admin’ makes me cringe. On a par with ‘live, love, laugh’.

RichardsGear · 13/10/2022 22:26

Hang on, somebody said:
'Taking food out of freezer'
'Remembering to cook said food'

So eating is 'life admin' now???

It's just shit you do. Honestly🙄! Such a pretentious term for general day to day stuff (and so many examples given are once a year jobs, or in the case of passport renewals every ten years. Hardly time consuming when averaged out!).

GalesThisMorning · 13/10/2022 22:27

Also we all have different stress levels and different points of feeling 'at capacity'. A lot of the stuff in some of these lists wouldn't strike me as life admin - shopping, laundry, looking on Amazon is just plain old life! It isn't admin and doesn't feel as such. But when I am stressed it can feel like a chore or a burden or one more thing I'm failing to get done. I guess if you're operating at or near capacity all of the time suddenly things like 'I need to pop into a neighbor to tell them something' can become a job in itself because it's just one more thing.

RichardsGear · 13/10/2022 22:28

myexisawanker · 13/10/2022 22:21

Out interest do you work? If so full time?

In research, obviously!

arethereanyleftatall · 13/10/2022 22:29

But people don't make out it's a big deal. They just include it as stuff they have to do. Which they do.
It's two minute jobs but there can be 50 of them.
Saying it's not a thing is a bit like saying sweeping the floor isn't a thing, because it only takes 2 minutes and I do it when the kettle is boiling.
So what?
What difference does it make when you do it?
It's still a thing that needs to be done, which isn't cleaning, and isn't childcare, and isn't paid work, so it's allowed to have a name!

GalesThisMorning · 13/10/2022 22:29

Maybe life admin is any job you're not paid to do, don't enjoy, and don't particularly want to do right now 🤔 going by that definition I have shit tonnes of it!

Bintymcbintface · 13/10/2022 22:30

I hate the phrase. It pretty much covers anything that isn't paid work. But really it's just part and parcel of being an adult and living a normal, productive life and people seem to get into a big flap over things which are really fuck all

tunnocksreturns2019 · 13/10/2022 22:31

As a PP said, depends what you’ve got going on how much time and effort this stuff takes.

I’m widowed and one of my DC has additional needs, plus a health problem right now. Every job is my job, and I have an actual job too.

I’m aware there are others with more on their plate than I have, and/or less energy/time.

Namenic · 13/10/2022 22:34

I guess it’s just like jobs though. Some jobs are hard, some are easy. Different people find different ones hard. Just because someone finds their job easy doesn’t mean others can’t have a hard job. Same with life admin. Everyone has a different situation. I’ve had different points in my life when I’ve had easy and hard jobs and easy and hard life admin.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 13/10/2022 22:34

Surely the point being made is that it doesn't have to be labelled 'life admin', because it is just life, or do people have another label for things that they do that require leaving the house - life activities, or something?

tunnocksreturns2019 · 13/10/2022 22:35

There are always people who will seem to some to be making a fuss about nothing.

But we can’t actually walk a mile in anyone else’s shoes, or be objective enough to deem whether or not fuss is warranted.

And if someone is making a fuss about nothing, so what?

SpicePearl · 13/10/2022 22:36

OP, does it really bother you that people have a name for this stuff? If someone just said ‘oh I’ve got to run some errands this afternoon’ would it irritate you? Or what if they said ‘I’ve got a call with a mortgage adviser then I need to ring a couple of plumbers to come look at my sink and then I need to buy my mum a birthday present’?

tunnocksreturns2019 · 13/10/2022 22:36

🤣 I don’t think I categorise my day but if someone else has a colourful timetable inc. a ‘life admin’ section, maybe I’d be a new woman 🤣