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Friend Drinking In Excess of At Least 150 units of Alcohol A Week - AIBU to leave her to it?

133 replies

Prangie · 13/10/2022 19:53

She has drunk heavily for a long time.

I know she has hidden bottles that her ex husband found, and I suspect she hides it to an extent to her current partner. I called yesterday morning and she was pissed, it was 10.30am. I have brought it up and she lies and says she has cut back, or wasn't drinking, or only had one etc etc. I have told her I know she isn't being truthful and she lies again. She also works shifts (midwife) and uses the excuse she's been working nights when she has clearly been drinking in the morning - I know one of her colleagues and know she isn't on nights as often as she claims. (I am not sure how often she drinks in the morning, but she certainly drinks heavily every night she is not at work.)

I have also told her that this isn't sustainable. I am her daughters godmother, btw (that is possibly irrelevant, I'm not sure!) She clearly doesn't feel able to stop and, despite necking at least 2 but usually three (or one box) of wine a night (and possibly now in the day) she has a remarkable tolerance. How long can someone continue like this before the health problems are irreversible?

AIBU to not mention it again as it makes no difference and the only person who can change it is her? Or AINBU to keep trying due to her daughter?

I have a feeling it's the former, but would like some other views as I am getting too frustrated to think rationally any more.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

218 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
Yerroblemom1923 · 07/03/2023 18:33

@Prangie how is your friend doing now? Did she get the help she needed?

fairycakes1234 · 07/03/2023 18:39

i would take this post down if I was you, it could end up in the daily mail, or she could be on here, or a friend, or colleague.

Yerroblemom1923 · 07/03/2023 18:46

It might be better placed on the alcohol support pages but I don't think it should be removed. It's from last October so the Daily Fail has had plenty of time to cover it anyway.
Mumsnet have been too heavy handed removing threads lately, don't encourage them!

Prangie · 07/03/2023 19:18

@Yerroblemom1923 Nope, she hasn't. She's just lying about it. Her current partner claims he is 'dealing with it', inc the work situation and while I am not entirely convinced, I'm sort of steering clear. We have a mutual friend she works with (mentioned in the OP) so I have filled her in and I am not getting involved further as it makes more sense for the above mentioned people to deal with it anyway.

Sorry if disjointed answer - also cooking!

OP posts:
Yerroblemom1923 · 08/03/2023 06:54

Thanks for the update @Prangie. I was hoping she might've turned her life around etc. Sounds like you've done all you can and her work colleague is best to raise concerns with the hospital.

Fromthedarkside · 08/03/2023 09:22

Sadly the only person who can help an alcoholic is themselves. Until they decide they need to get sober there isn't anything anyone can do.

Prangie · 08/03/2023 18:05

Exactly @Fromthedarkside !

OP posts:
B1ggyL · 10/05/2023 01:00

It's clearly the OP, it's you

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