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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have confronted the bus pusher-inner?

12 replies

FattyAirways · 13/10/2022 19:10

The commute home is hellish. Busy, miserable and often wet from the rain buses that take an age to get home. Usually late as tonight's was and they put on a single-deck for a very busy, but not-so-regular route.

There is never a real queue for the bus. It drives me mad, but it is what it is. When the bus arrives everyone dashes to queue and then there are usually two queues. It's mad but it's how it is. I can live with it.

Tonight, the two queues formed, one being a line of people stood a few feet from the bus. I was in the queue for oh, about a minute and the man behind me pushed right in front of me. It was an obvious queue to anyone, it was moving slowly too, so who knows what he was doing and to push in front of me, he had to side-step between me and the side of the bus.

I frowned like I had never frowned before. I'm usually lenient on the bus queue CF's, but this took the biscuit while the queue was so obviously formed and he was so obviously being a dick, so I said something loud enough for him to hear about cheeky bastards. He then side-stepped again between the bus and the woman in front of me and pushed in front of her!!! I was furious at this point and asked him why he thought it was OK to push in. His reaction was to be defensive. He said that he had waited for the bus for ages. I told him that we all had as it was running late and he started swearing and said that I didn't know that day that he'd had. WTF?! Why does that make it OK to push in?!

When I sat down on the bus on reflected, I though that perhaps I shouldn't have confronted him, and anyway what good has it done anyway? It probably just made me look an absolute loon in front of everyone else in the queue! So WIBU to have confronted him?

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FattyAirways · 13/10/2022 19:11

I don't think I meant side-stepped. He squeezed his body to the side to get past me and the lady in front of me.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 13/10/2022 19:17

They always have a bad day don’t they.

Good on you for speaking up even if it didn’t work. They usually expect women to put up with it and not call them out

EmmiJay · 13/10/2022 19:22

I would have done the exact same and have done lots of times. In London its necessary to call out cheeky fuckery I feel😅

FattyAirways · 13/10/2022 19:25

Thank you both for your replies. I do feel more empowered for it! I hope it makes him think twice about doing it again.

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Pixiedust1234 · 13/10/2022 19:25

high fives

I bet the others on the bus also cheered inwardly. I know I do when someone nearer calls out cf behaviour.

hettyhoovered · 13/10/2022 19:28

I would've done the same! Similar happened to me in a queue at the airport once and after calling them out I promptly placed myself back in front of the person pushing in!

Appreciate in London at the bus stop it is a bit different and you don't know what sort of person you're dealing with, but calling them out was 100% the right thing to do. More people need to do it.

FattyAirways · 13/10/2022 19:29

Pixiedust1234 · 13/10/2022 19:25

high fives

I bet the others on the bus also cheered inwardly. I know I do when someone nearer calls out cf behaviour.

I hope so but I felt a bit silly afterwards like they'll all think i'm the crazy woman!

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BrianWankum · 13/10/2022 19:39

Sometimes you just have to say something. Perhaps he’ll think twice next time.

I was waiting with a big crowd of people once to get onto a train - so you always get a clump, not a queue. It was slow as there was someone faffing with a suitcase, and a woman behind me was pushing at my elbow as if to get past, except on that side was the train and the gap. I said to her, “take it easy, we’ll all get on, and I’d hate to accidentally nudge you under the train.” And then I realised that was perhaps a bit threatening 😂

lannistunut · 13/10/2022 19:48

Sometimes you just have to say something! It doesn't mean you always have to, sometimes you can let stuff go too.

There isn't a right or wrong, unless you are offensive or aggressive.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 13/10/2022 21:30

You 'frowned like you have never frowned before....!' 😂

Which one of these is closest to the big old frowny frown you issued @FattyAirways ???

To have confronted the bus pusher-inner?
To have confronted the bus pusher-inner?
To have confronted the bus pusher-inner?
To have confronted the bus pusher-inner?
To have confronted the bus pusher-inner?
sue20 · 20/12/2022 00:24

FattyAirways · 13/10/2022 19:11

I don't think I meant side-stepped. He squeezed his body to the side to get past me and the lady in front of me.

I was in the queue pusher situation recently. My local bus stop has a big sort of crowd and being near the front doesn’t gain any recognition of time waited. If the bus is nearly full you often find you can’t get on and have to wait and go through same again. I’m visibly not young and had a big bag on my back. I just forced my way on and got a younger bag less man have a go at me. He said “what happened to queuing?” Very aggressively but I’d seen him just saunter up to the front. It upset me that he was so sure of the righteousness of his position.

Judgyjudgy · 20/12/2022 00:29

Good on you for calling it out. People only do this because they get away with it. Maybe he will think twice next time, and also how does he not know you had a worse day then him. So many entitled people around lately.

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