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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up a (well paid, professional job) because I hate it and it has made me ill?

34 replies

purplepencilcase · 13/10/2022 13:45

Some perspective anyone?

I'm late 40s, professional. I have c.£500k in savings, £250k in pension. No house but also no debts.

Is it unreasonable to have a career break? Current job is making me ill and I need a break.

OP posts:
Peterbear · 13/10/2022 13:48

Dude you know the answer to that. Noone ever lay on their death bed wishing they'd spent more time in the office/doing a rubbish job. Enjoy your time off! X

Hourbyehours · 13/10/2022 13:51

Not being funny but you are loaded! Probably in a stronger position than 95% of the population. So NO of course it’s not unreasonable to put yourself first here… I expect you’ve worked incredible hard for long enough! If I had that kind I’d security I’d retire or do something really rewarding such as volunteering for a while

Saz12 · 13/10/2022 13:51

It’s your life, how you choose to live it is up to you.

BUT - would a break address the fundamental issue of having a job you hate?

Would you be better taking a change (Dependivg in werher you have dependents or not would you consider VSO, or similar? Travel? Spend time getting a qualification, picking up an interest or hobby, working in a totally unrelated field?) Take some time out to decide what you want, whilst not screwing up your cv so much too can’t get back in?

CrystalCoco · 13/10/2022 13:54

Take a gap year?

Time out just for you to contemplate your navel and possibly a career change or early retirement

BigFatLiar · 13/10/2022 13:54

Take some time out to think about what you want and why your current job makes you unsettled. Your own wellbeing matters.

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/10/2022 13:59

In your position you can certainly afford to have a bit of a break.

But as a PP has noted, you might want to give a bit of thought to how you want to spend the rest of your professional life and spend some of that money thinking about that.

Having a long holiday will certainly help you recharge a bit but it might not deal with the long term question about who you want to be and what you want to do.

tickticksnooze · 13/10/2022 14:00

What are you going to do after the break?

Ahnobother · 13/10/2022 14:00

You said it yourself. You're unwell and you need a break.
Take it. Without any guilt and take the time to recharge. Do nothing for a bit and then do something you've always wanted to whether it's travel or a course. You have earned the time by working for it in advance.

If you have a professional qualification then it should be straightforward enough to identify the potential options available to you in terms or returning to work whether in the same field or place, full or part time. Take the time to think if those will work for you or if you want a complete change.
I know so many people who are doing this now and the benefit is incredible. Their health, relationships and outlook all improves once they've had time to rest and refocus.

Good luck OP.

WendyWagon · 13/10/2022 14:01

hi OP. I gave up a huge six figure salary in 2017 to care full time for my father. When he died later that year I accepted a charity job at 10% of my usual earnings. I loved the job. However after two years I had become disillusioned by the way a former professional was treated, basically ignored or treatered as stupid. I also couldn’t move up in the organisation due to not being a charity careerist. I left and went back to corporate life two years ago. However I wonder if you can buy a small house out right and have a rest? Volunteer on your terms, £250k roughly buys £250 of pension a week plus of course you will have your state pension too later on. I think a year or two out will not harm you but get a small property and work out a budget. I don’t regret stepping away from the big ticket. I came back stronger. I am looking for a new role and will not accept a bad fit. Good mental health cannot be bought.

WhenDovesFly · 13/10/2022 14:01

With that amount of savings I'd definitely do it. I worked 30 years for a large corporate and I hated it every day, but it paid well so I stuck there way too long.

Then Covid hit and I took voluntary redundancy and got a good pay off. I'm now doing a completely different job for a third of the corporate salary, but I love what I do and enjoy coming to work each day.

You are comfortable with your savings, so don't waste your life being unhappy in your career.

honeyytoast · 13/10/2022 14:01

Yanbu, ideally no one should ‘have’ to work if they don’t want to but certainly not someone in your position.
can you lend me a grand please

Campervangirl · 13/10/2022 14:02

You work to live not live to work, my old manager used to tell us that.
If you can afford it, do it, life's too short

thesandwich · 13/10/2022 14:02

Could you take a sabbatical from work ?

toomanyflapjacks · 13/10/2022 14:09

I would in your shoes! And I'd look for something less stressful to go back to. BTW it's not for me to tell you how to spend your money, but with £500k in the bank I'd buy a flat or small house. Good luck with whatever you decide.

AriettyHomily · 13/10/2022 14:15

Does your company allow you to take a sabbatical?

DarkShade · 13/10/2022 14:19

Buy a house and ask your company if you can take a year off? That way you have an asset (house), won't worry about rent, and can re-evaluate in a year.

Ofcourseshecan · 13/10/2022 14:23

toomanyflapjacks · 13/10/2022 14:09

I would in your shoes! And I'd look for something less stressful to go back to. BTW it's not for me to tell you how to spend your money, but with £500k in the bank I'd buy a flat or small house. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I agree. Enjoy your time off, and then find something you really enjoy doing.

MarshaBradyo · 13/10/2022 14:24

I’d ask for a sabbatical and use it to look at options

FairyLightAddict · 13/10/2022 14:25

Buy a flat (or house depending where you live) with your savings.

Life's too short to be ill from work.

Parmesam · 13/10/2022 14:27

Echo others here. Buy a property. Travel. Do some volunteering. Enjoy your money. Use the time to re-frame things. You have choices.

napody · 13/10/2022 14:28

I wouldnt buy a house right now- unlikely prices are gonna rise much in the next year and part of what you might want to consider over the coming months is whether relocation, travel, working abroad might be part of the change you want. I honestly think that if you've reached the point where its making you ill you'll need to take some time to decompress and recover before you can start to make future plans. But you're in such a good position- the world is your oyster!

Arnaquer · 13/10/2022 14:29

Where do you live if you don't have a house?

Badsox · 13/10/2022 14:32

Personally, if you are unwell, I think.you should take a ch7nk.of sick leave to feel physically and mentally better. You can then make a d3cision on what is best to do and explore all your options. I also think it is unwise to totally leave until you have a clear plan in place about what you are go8ng to do.

bluelavender · 13/10/2022 14:36

Take some sick leave and have a chance to get better. Give yourself some space; and maybe speak with a therapist, or career coach to help you work out what you want to to next.

eurochick · 13/10/2022 14:47

I'm in a not dissimilar position. I'm looking for a new job but finding it difficult to muster enthusiasm for anything similar to what I have done for the last 20+years. I'm about to take a leap of faith and try a less secure (self-employed) way of using my skills and experience in the hope that it suits me better. I'm sick of being a cog in someone else's machine.