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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I still take parcels for neighbors ?

56 replies

BlueSiamese · 13/10/2022 09:14

Well I am fine helping neighbors out and we live on a street where most of them are friendly . I am having issues with occasionally collecting parcels for some of them though.

  1. I had a delivery guy request me to take a parcel for someone on the street I said okay but have you left a note and the guys says yes .
At 8pm I had a loud knock on my door and I opened it to an angry lady who said do you have my parcel, I explained her yes and the guy requested me to take it and mentioned he is leaving a note . To which she said well he didn't. I gave her her parcel and she stormed off. (I thought may be it's best not to collect parcels for this lady)
  1. I was leaving for work when I was asked by a different guy to collect another parcel. I did and the neighbors didn't bother coming over to collect it for days so finally before going away dh decided to give it to them as it was heavy.
  1. Last week I had another parcel for a different neighbor but for three days no one came to collect. The postman showed me that they are leaving a note and wrote it in front of me. Finally yesterday when I was parking I saw the neighbors and said I got your parcel and gave it to her.

So my Aibu is should I simply start refusing parcels for neighbors as no one seem to be coming to collect them? Or be there local delivery person and make sure that I deliver them😏

OP posts:
Wdib78 · 13/10/2022 09:27

After the first woman I wouldn't have taken anymore and she'd have got a mouthful off me for the way she spoke

thereisonlyoneofme · 13/10/2022 09:29

Stop taking them in !

redskyhaze · 13/10/2022 09:32

I wouldn't take them for someone who was rude to me.

But someone not coming for 3 days isn't that bad, it could just be because they are away or something. 3 weeks and I'd be more concerned!

Mostly it's just part of living in a community. I'd want neighbours to take parcels for me so would do it for them. It is frustrating when the delivery company doesn't leave a note, though.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 13/10/2022 09:42

I would only take a parcel in for someone I know.
Someone tried to leave a parcel a few of days ago, and it was clearly marked with a different address. He was about to take a photo and leave it. I suspect he just couldn't be bothered to go to the right address as it was a flat.

Original poster
BlueSiamese · 13/10/2022 09:43

None of them were away as I did see them daily. Is it supposed to be the duty of the person who collects it to give it to the right people or something? In our earlier residence I would go and collect my own parcel whenever I saw a note . My neighbors did come around to collect theirs from mine too.

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 13/10/2022 09:49

No i generally refuse unless it is my direct next door neighbours who I know. And when I order I always put in the 'note to seller/courier' box where they can leave the package should I not be in (though they put my daughter's prom dress IN THE BIN which I thought was unbelievably stupid - it took two days of looking before it occurred to me to look inside, and it's just luck there wasn't a rubbish collection)!

LickThis · 13/10/2022 09:53

I think you've just been unlucky with rude neighbours, I'd stop all favours for gobby woman and tell the others they'd have to collect the parcels within a day or you can't take them anymore

Quincythequince · 13/10/2022 09:59

Just say no, I’m not taking them.
There’s nothing they can do about it and if people aren’t thankful for it, don’t do it.

StapFooterin · 13/10/2022 10:09

I only ever take parcels for the neighbours on either side of me and they do the same for me and presumably for the neighbours on the other side of them. I don't take them for anyone else. My mum was like a bloody Royal Mail depot up until her Alzheimer's got to the point where she didn't answer the door. She didn't like doing it, but couldn't say no. Unlike her daughter🤣

billy1966 · 13/10/2022 10:15

Absolutely not.

I simply wouldn't dream of obliging people who clearly don't appreciate it.

Put a sign on your door if necessary.

janj2301 · 13/10/2022 10:16

We take in for all neighbours bar one who wouldn't collect from us, we went over and she said "well bring it over", DH said "no I am 70+ and disabled, you are young and able bodied, you come and get it" She sent one of her childtren over a couple of days later we were in the process of sending it back, CF

hedgehoglurker · 13/10/2022 10:21

Are you saying that you saw the recipients, but because they hadn't been and asked you for it, you just kept hold of the parcel until they came days later? Why not just call over to them that you have a parcel? Knock on their door to advise them or even, simply take it over?

Yes, if I was aware that anyone had a parcel for me, I would immediately go and get it. However, not everyone gets a note - despite the delivery person's assurances. Or sometimes the flimsy note gets stuck in the letterbox or doesn't have the correct details of where the parcel has been left.

I personally would continue to accept parcels unless my neighbour was ungrateful or I had a reason to dislike or distrust them, as it is neighbourly.

In the last 7 years, I have had to retrieve parcels from neighbours twice, as we are almost always home, have Ring cameras, and have suitable places for parcels to be left. But I have taken in countless for my neighbours, including very large bulky items. Sometimes they collect, sometimes I deliver, sometimes I text to advise I have it and will leave on my doorstep for them to collect.

Beautiful3 · 13/10/2022 10:55

I would stop taking them in.

Redkettle · 13/10/2022 10:55

My neighbours are either always out and some days can't be arsed to answer their door. I take parcel now ring their bell and walk away. There's a guy opposite us who won't open the door for parcels and half the time they are for him!

SparklyLeprechaun · 13/10/2022 11:03

If someone is rude or nasty then don't take parcels in. But I'm not bothered if people don't collect immediately, I give them a day and then knock on their door, it's no big deal - they might have not noticed the missed delivery note, or been away, or just not got the note in the first place.

TrussSucks · 13/10/2022 11:22

I stopped taking parcels for my neighbour after they left a massive one uncollected for 2 weeks and didn't answer the few times I went round to tell them. I eventually put a passive aggressive note through their door and they picked it up. I then found out from delivery drivers that they put instructions on all their deliveries to deliver to my house! It was multiple times a day interrupting me during work calls so now all the delivery people know not to even ask, except the lovely Evri lady who I occasionally take one for.

gogohmm · 13/10/2022 11:31

I only take them for people I know the names of, keeps it simple

Original poster
BlueSiamese · 13/10/2022 11:38

Probably I wasn't clear. When I said I saw them I ment they were not away. I usually see a glimpse while taking my children for bath or rushing to make breakfast, running for work so I do know they are in.

I am just going to stop taking them in , as its lot of work. Countless times I have gone around to hand it over to them and obviously I can't leave it outside there door as my name is on the note then I sort of feel responsible for the parcel. I would never hold a parcel waiting for them to ask but right now it feel like an additional task on my list.

OP posts:
huuskymam · 13/10/2022 11:39

For me it really depends on the neighbour. We had one that got parcels every day but wouldn't open the door to the delivery driver, would never collect so I kept constantly having to send one of the kids over with it. That stopped fairly quickly. 2 of my others I always take them cause I know they're working, most of the time they collect or my son will bring them over if he's going out playing with their kids.

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 13/10/2022 11:41

I take them in for mine but they do the same for us. However, I wouldn't in your situation and the first woman would have been given an earful- the absolute cheek!

bigbluebus · 13/10/2022 12:38

I'm selective about which neighbours I take parcels in for. Either side of us and opposite to the right is fine. Opposite to the left barely acknowledge our existence - they've been there 10 years - and when we have taken parcels in in the past they never come and collect them even though I know they've had a note to say it's here.
The 'dumping' of parcels on neighbours is mainly for the benefit of the delivery driver who gets paid a pittance to deliver it so doesn't want to have to come back again. One knocked on my door with a parcel for NDN and said his instructions were to leave parcel at mine. I said surely that's only if they're not in? There were 3 cars on their drive - he hadn't even bothered to knock there. I sent him next door saying I'd gladly take it but only if he couldn't deliver to the addressee. They were indeed at home.

InCheesusWeTrust · 13/10/2022 12:41

Yeah I would make a no list with their house numbers.
Most of us take each others' in but everyone always collects and if not, it is because they didn't get the note. All ok.
Except once when we had parcel for 3 weeks. I was fuming but later found out the guy was in a hospital so he is back of "no list".

Original poster
BlueSiamese · 13/10/2022 12:56

Brilliant suggestions @InCheesusWeTrust

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 13/10/2022 13:17

I am selective as we've lived here a long time and know who will collect and who will take things in on the rare occasion there is one for us!

Linnet · 13/10/2022 13:29

We don't take in parcels for the house next door as they never come to get them that day. Then when they do they always moan that they weren't told where it was etc even though I've watched the delivery guy put the card through their door saying where it is.

The last parcel we took in we had for a week. The next time someone asked us my DH pointed out that they were in as the car was there and refused to take it. Told them to knock louder until they answered the door.