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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Definately don't want another child bit feel broody/ sad when i see a newborn.

19 replies

malificent7 · 13/10/2022 07:35

At 44 , i'm definately 1 and done plus I have a dsd...i have kids in my life. Dp and i don't want anotjer for a miriad of reasons but i do feel broody when i see a newborn then sad that I don't want another. Anyone else get this?

I guess i feel sad that I couldn't cope with/ fund another child and that i find motherhood really tough.

OP posts:

Whoareyoumyfriend · 13/10/2022 07:41

Oh goodness. Yes I'm desperate for another baby. Slight issue is I really don't want any more children so I have to squash the feelings.

WhiteFire · 13/10/2022 07:48

I'm the same age (well 43 and 51 weeks) and feel the same. Lots of my colleagues are pregnant or recently had a baby (or partner) and I feel lots of pangs, but I also know it will never happen.

When the pangs get too much I just think of what an absolute nightmare sleeper my last was and that quickly puts it to rest.

Funnily enough, last night, when wrapping a new baby present, I mentioned it, DD (10) helpfully told me that I was far too old to have a baby. 😃Thanks kiddo.

anotherdayanotherpathlesstravelled · 13/10/2022 07:58

God I'd love another but I already have 3 and 2 are twins but I feel sad how quick they are growing up, I'd definitely have had 1 more

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 13/10/2022 08:02

I knew you would be in early 40s. No judgment. I suspect their is a per menopausal last chance saloon element to it. I feel the same.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/10/2022 08:03

I love a baby- I wish I could rewind time and sometimes relieve my babies when they were newborns. But I never ever ever want another child!!!! I never want another toddler!

kitchenSink5 · 13/10/2022 08:07

WhiteFire · 13/10/2022 07:48

I'm the same age (well 43 and 51 weeks) and feel the same. Lots of my colleagues are pregnant or recently had a baby (or partner) and I feel lots of pangs, but I also know it will never happen.

When the pangs get too much I just think of what an absolute nightmare sleeper my last was and that quickly puts it to rest.

Funnily enough, last night, when wrapping a new baby present, I mentioned it, DD (10) helpfully told me that I was far too old to have a baby. 😃Thanks kiddo.

I read that as you were 43. And 51 weeks pregnant! Took me a second to reconcile the topic of the thread....and my misconception! D'oh!!!

I'm the same - broody but done. If I was younger and fitter - maybe... but so happy and grateful for what I have.

WithIcePlease · 13/10/2022 08:08

I had this too. I would get tearful when I saw a newborn. I just ended up walking away from them at school pick ups so that I wouldn't embarrass myself

Mommabear20 · 13/10/2022 08:11

I'm only 27, and pregnant with my third, but already feel the same! I'm trying to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible, because I absolutely do not want to be pregnant or have a baby again (after this one 😂)! But hearing my friends talking about ' when they have babies' already makes me broody as I know my youngest will be into the toddler years by the time my friends are having babies. 😣

Entstoryench · 13/10/2022 08:14

Yes I'm the same. Turning 40 soon, got 3 children, we are finished having kids for many reasons and I'm still broody. I miss being pregnant. I actually have a baby and still feel like I want another (but I don't). I find having babies addictive but really have to just count my blessings and close that door in my heart.

SpanishSteps123Ole · 13/10/2022 08:20

I feel the same. I wish I had more children but I try to remind myself of the reality of sleepless nights and how expensive childcare is. I look better, have so much more freedom now. If I could rewind time, I'd have more and close in age because I increasingly see that a loving family is the best thing in the world. I would have loved 3 or 5. I feel it's too late and too big of a gap now even though I'm technically still fertile and can afford it.

IncompleteSenten · 13/10/2022 08:27

I'm 49. I had my two in my mid 20s and tbh the feeling of wanting more has never completely gone away. It's an instinct thing I believe because logically having more was out of the question.

Its always been a background noise though apart from when I hit my 40s. Then it was SCREAMING! I felt as broody as I did before I got pregnant for the first time. To the point of tears.

Then - peri menopause hit.
Now I am post menopause and I do believe it was my body's last hurrah. Hey listen up its your last chance, eggs are getting pretty thin on the ground here 🤣

DoubleNit · 13/10/2022 08:30

I do too. I'm nearly 40 and although I know I could try still, I just in my heart don't want to. For various reasons life was horrendous when I was pregnant and in my little ones early months, I will not be doing that again.
I also have one and I find it's the guilt of not having another more than actually wanting another one.

RosetteNebula · 13/10/2022 10:45

I get like this too, but I acknowledge that they are irrational biological impulses that I must ignore because I can barely cope with the child I have and as much as I love her, I don't even enjoy parenting.

Ilikemeat2023 · 18/01/2023 13:27

I’m 38 with a 6 month old and 3 year old. I’d love another one but assumed probably now too old. I had to do IVF when 34 to have both of my children and it was very clearly stated to me that fertility declines after 35, falls off a cliff at 37 and is non existent at 43. Makes me sad 😞

CPHB2021 · 18/01/2023 13:32

God, totally. I'd love another but we just couldn't stretch to one more. We could cope, for sure, but to really live and enjoy life and all that it offers, we HAVE to stick to 2. It's so sad and I feel a dreadful pang every few months but I know for sure that 2 is comfortable and 3 would almost certainly push us over the edge.

AllTheWeatherAllTheTime · 18/01/2023 13:34

I'm 38 and I feel a bit like this sometimes, although I am definitely done after one and even if I wasn't, my husband is! I realised in my case, I wasn't longing for a whole new person in our family, what I was actually longing for was my daughter at that age - it's a small grieving part of my heart that she was once so tiny but isn't any more. Might that be part of it for you?

Mumof1andacat · 18/01/2023 13:36

Person I worked with had her last 2 children at 40 and 46.....

pearlearringgirl · 18/01/2023 18:33

Get a reborn doll, the good ones look super realistic and are weighted to feel the same weight as a real baby. Having one to hold and rock in an evening might help the broodiness without the commitment of having another child to raise (who will eventually grow out of babyhood anyway and then you might feel broody again!)

Some good deals can be found on eBay if you can’t afford a new one

SupermumKaty · 23/06/2025 18:54

I second that! That’s exactly the way I feel. I have 2 myself my son is nearly 8 and my DD is 3 and I love them to bits and I do often wonder what it would be like to have another as I do miss them as babies, but then I remind myself that they have to grow up and the reality kicks in and I remember the sleepless nights, the stress of my pregnancies as I had GD with both of them, I had 2 c sections, the stress of breast feeding, potty training. I just have to keep telling myself how lucky I am and look forward to having cuddles with my future niece or nephews as my brother is getting married next year.

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