To think about putting DD into preschool for an extra day?

[Amzy22]

DH and I are discussing pros and cons of putting DD, who will be 4 in December, into preschool for an extra day after Christmas.

Currently DD does 8:30-3pm for three days per week. She loves it and would happily go more, and I’m aware that as an older child in the school year, many children would be in school full time not long after turning 4. However, also aware how important having time with us is. We juggled all child care between the two of us until she turned 3.

I work 4 days per week, long hours in a high stress job with lots of responsibility. I do have all school holidays off with DD (preschool is term time only). DH started his own business in June, and now works 5 (occasionally 6) days a week. He fits his hours around preschool during the week then works all weekend.

We are struggling with staying even vaguely on top of house, life etc! If we go to 4 days of preschool, that creates an extra day for my husband during the week to deal with some of this. He’s keen on the idea; I’m on the fence between keeping us from sinking, and feeling like a bad mother, that DD should have parent time as long as possible as she’s off to school next year.

AIBU to think about upping her days in preschool?

Do it.

Do it. You say she loves us, she can clearly handle it. With the extra house time, you and your DH will be less stressed and the time you do have with her will be better time.

Seems like a no brainer from what you describe, and sounds like it might actually gain you some family time at the weekend which would be more valuable?

Four days is a good idea, she’ll still have three days at home.

Why don’t you just try it for a couple of months and see how you all feel? (Assuming preschool will give you this flexibility) If she gets horribly tired, or there’s no benefit in terms of housework/admin, you can rethink.

Surely this way you gain an extra weekend day together three of you?

It's where she wants to be. I don't see huge benefit to her of watching you do housework while complaining she wants to be at school.

Parent time is good for children, but it's the difference of 6 hours a week. Plus you don't have to send her if you fancy doing something else one week, it's (presumably) free and non-compulsory.

Fwiw I was the same, but as soon as she started the guilt went away, because she was happy.

Do it! Especially if you know she'll love it! Like you say, a lot of children the same age would be in full time school by that age.

I put both of mine into nursery an extra day a week the term they turned 4 (going from 3 days a week to 4), because they both started to get bored and naughty at home, with just me for entertainment!

I would. It would mean that your free time together as a family is has less of the cleaning/washing/catching up on work included. You’ll have more time to be together and enjoy the time.

If DH works all weekend and you do four weekdays, does that mean your DD's "parent time" is either with you or your DH but never both of you? If so, and if there's no financial impact, I'd recommend upping the days in preschool, but your DH using the the time to get through some work so that you can get a weekend day with the three of you all together. Or even just a morning or afternoon every weekend.

In my experience those are the most fun family times, for you as well as DD. You and DH get a bit of (relatively!) quality time together, and when you have another adult watching DD at the same time as you it's all less stressful.

Totally fine - I would do it (in fact, I am! My three and a half year old goes up to four days in January). Your child will benefit from parents who are less stressed out!

Absolutely fine. DS is also 4 in December and goes to nursery 4 days a week. He loves it! He's a very social person. We still get 3 days a week together to do things.

I thought you were going to say dd is 9 months old or something ! At 4 it’s a no brainier! She’ll be in school next September as an older one no less, she’ll be more than ready and it will help her transition to school

Absolutely not unreasonable, I would do it. If anything for school “readiness”….she will be going 5 days in just under a years time so will be more equipped to deal with this if you up her hours to 4 days now. You’ll also have more time together as a family at the weekend which is a no brainer to me.

Thank you for all the messages. Sounds like I am overly worrying about doing the wrong thing for DD rather than doing what’s best for all of us! We’re going to chat some more but leaning towards upping to 4 days after Christmas 🙂

It sounds like an absolute no brainer