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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to worry about my child's learning?

5 replies

ThatsBullshirt · 12/10/2022 12:53

Let me preface this by saying I know kids are all different and learn in different ways, at their own pace. I'm sure it's probably totally in the realms of normal but I'd like a little reassurance.

DS2 is 4, currently in nursery, starting primary one next year. He's a bright, happy wee boy who is doing really well socially now at nursery. He can count up to 20 (and beyond but not perfectly), count items, recognise numbers but he's got a complete block on letters. He knows maybe 10 of them, can't recognise them, never wants to try to write them. He has only recently started to attempt to write his name. I've tried encouraging it in lots of different, fun, engaging ways but he just doesn't like to learn. He's much more interested in cars and dinosaurs. He won't even draw.

His brother (6) was the absolute opposite. He adores learning and learnt lots of his phonics and was able to read before he started school. He's like a wee sponge. He was reading at the level of an 8 year old last year, is doing a fairly good job with writing/spelling and is exceeding expectations at maths too. He enjoys arts and crafts, science etc.

AIBU to be a bit concerned? Any helpful strategies to get him to have an interest in learning?

OP posts:
PumpkinDart · 12/10/2022 12:59

Nope they all learn differently, my eldest was a slow burner with reading/ writing and is now a few years later in top sets. Try to be creative with how your son learns, so a friend of mine her son struggled and they used a remote control car to get him to drive the car to particular letters etc. Things like that help and just keep exposing him to letters/ words/ books. He'll get there.

PurpleWisteria1 · 12/10/2022 13:00

No. He’s 4. Totally normal. Think you are only going by your older child and comparing. They are all different. Maybe he will show more interest once he starts school or y1. Maybe he won’t and not be interested but love sport or art or music.

ThatsBullshirt · 12/10/2022 13:09

Thank you. I actually just needed someone to say that it's normal after having DS1 being such a keen learner. I also feel like my family put so much emphasis on intelligence and success as a child myself that it's sort of skewed what I think DS2 should be capable of

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 12/10/2022 13:13

Totally normal.

I can relate to what you say about families and expectations, FWIW. My parents were extremely academically pushy and have, unfortunately, continued in that vein with grandchildren. I have to work quite hard to bite back my ingrained 'OMG she ought to be doing x by now' with DD, and to remind myself to let her learn at her own pace.

Miriam101 · 12/10/2022 13:16

Seems your impressions have been clouded by having an older child who was abnormally advanced. Your second son sounds totally normal. My DD was like that at 4- completely uninterested- but once she started school at about 4.5 they got her into letters and phonics and writing and stuff in a way I never could! She loves it all now. Don't worry.

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