She sounds fucked in the head?! Using autistic as an insult how disgusting. I would not be wanting a relationship with her. Is there actually something wrong with her?

Lots of people have difficult sibling relationships so you are not alone. Perhaps you should leave the relationship for a while. It sounds like she has said some very hurtful things to you, and now she has blocked you. Best to leave her to it and get on with your own life.

The only acceptable level of abuse in any relationship is none. Just because you are siblings doesn't mean that this rule doesn't apply. If your relationship with your sister brings you hurt and heartache, then you might be better to stay away from her.

And try not to think about those horrible things she said to you. It was deliberately nasty and not your fault.

Just take a step back from her and get on with your life. Use the techniques you’ve learned to manage your relationship from a distance.

You can’t have a friendship with someone who’s social skills are this poor. Maybe in a few years she will mature.

You might want to follow up your therapy with some assertiveness training. You do not have to be a doormat for other people.

She’s a cow. Or at least the behaviour you just described is foul. Step back completely. You’ve done nothing wrong. Let her try to mend what she’s said. If she doesnt, that is her choice.

Let me guess, is she the elder sister? I have one, very bossy, very competitive. I think the older ones got a sense of power lording over us, when we were little, and they like to exercise this “power” into adulthood.

Sadly, this often comes from bad parenting too (we had a very controlling mother, so my sister took her frustrations out on me… and me, well I took them out on myself (depression etc). Is this at all familiar?

Really hard to follow the advice I’ve given above, but I’ve done it once or twice with my sister (no contact for x amount of time). She doesn’t apologise or admit she’s in the wrong, but it takes the heat out, and teaches her that I won’t be treated like that in the future. We still have a strained relationship (now in our 50s) but at least Im not so hurt by her/know I don’t need to care so much about her (it’s clear she doesn’t care about me or our brother). Luckily I have a really kind bro, who can’t stand her either (she’s done too much over the years), else I’d be sure the problem was with me! Good luck!

Im curious OP, yes it’s not a nice thing for her to say but you fail to mention your behaviour towards her. Have you ever been similarly cruel or is it very one-sided? You sound a little obsessed with the relationship, have you tried taking space? Has she?

Also interested re what you class as competitive. Do you have examples? Were you ever competitive with her? Reason I ask is sometimes we are blind to our own behaviour as well…

Right I have a similar age gap between my sister and myself.

all my life I have been told I’m jealous of her. I’m not.
to compare - at 18 she was brought a Porsche - me not I made no comment. At 25 she was brought a house outright - I never got a penny. She also had birthday huge parties at 18 & 21. Nothing for me. I made no comment and yet my parents banged on about how I was jealous.
she lied and stole from me all the way through my childhood and adulthood - they would always believe her over me.

we both have good careers in different fields. But she repeatedly blocked me over any slight or perceived slight. Honestly it was so abusive.

I emailed her 10 years ago and wanted to repeat the sibling relationship that never was. I apologised for all my things I had done wrong. I received no reply.

18 months later I got to my shock a reply it said
‘glad you have finally acknowledged all your jealousy and poor behaviour after careful consideration I agree to forgive you. You may come and stay on the weekend of 1-5 th august. You are expected at 5 pm and will depart on the 5 th (or whatever it was) at 11 am. I will map out a plan of activities for your stay.

I was like, wTAF 😱

So I emailed back

’be great to catch up that weekend I can rearrange some holiday. We can stay in x hotel and meet up with you on the Saturday and Sunday for some joint activities that would be lovely

I got a snotty phone call saying

I am phoning about your email. You have no accepted the offer I have made. You can take it or leave it either you are serious about a reconciliation or not ‘

i remember saying we have barely spoken in 10 years I have two young children I am happy to see you and do whatever activities you want on whatever dates you want but to stay in your house would not be good for either of us’

she then ranted and raved and told me I needed to trust her and without trust she wouldn’t be my sister etc etc

we didn’t go.

I started counselling 18 months ago for abusive and Narc parents and I now realise that we were all made into roles - her the golden child, me the scapegoat - now it is me the scapegoat and brother is golden child - both my siblings are abusive and narcissistic- I am
not I am loving and kind and full of empathy and a people pleaser

I suggest you talk with your therapist about abusive relationships - don’t ever engage with an abuser you can’t win.

great lady on YouTube about dealing with narcissistic people can’t remember her name dr Romany !? Check it out and do the freedom programme.

we all want a family and roots and love - sadly we live in a society with abusers so to engage with abusers seeking love and support - will not happen.

my family don’t talk to me - as I try to set boundaries eg. I will
come to London but meet you for afternoon tea and not your house but highly controlling and abusive people don’t like it - so they either plead, or stop talking or talk other tactics to get what they want - work on yourself