Is this a normal amount of requests from the school - its non stop!

[SchoolRequests]

Dc started reception just over 5 weeks ago and already had

• An ongoing weekly donation request
• Request to buy waterproofs (with 5 days notice of when needed)
• Non uniform day plus donation
• Harvest festival donation
• School photos
• Request to go through books with no words on a night and write in communication dairy on a daily / weekly basic
• Harvest bag to fill with leaves and pinecones
• Panto trip in december to pay for

I'm dreading opening his school bag to find more letters requesting things. It is just constant requests for time and money. Is this a normal amount? Do schools think parents have lots of free time and money to get stuff with little notice constantly and don't have work or other children to look after?

What is it like at your kids school?

I used to alternate with:
**
"Read to Page X. DC showed good understanding of the text".
" Read to Page X. Discussed the plot/characters/whatever."
**
Most of the time I just put, "Read to Page X." Teachers are far too busy to peruse reading records in depth.

You shouldn’t have to write any of this. The teacher is not my boss, they can’t dictate to me what to do or write. I used read with my children before bed for the joy of it, I don’t need, late in the evening and knackered after a full day, to be justifying my parenting for the teacher each night. Fuck that. I’ve sent the school bright, well behaved kids and I engage with their education. That’s it. So I used to ask my DC to write in it in the morning and I initial it. That’s as far as I would be arsed with it… ‘need to write a comment’ ffs 🙄

Kids adults now but how I used to wish we would get each term and agenda/list of what was needed

So many times it would be we need a cereal/shoe box etc tomorrow. Did they think parents had a secret stash of such things waiting

Used to drive me nuts

Yeah this. ^

I can almost understand why people choose to home-school to be honest. No school politics, no school gate mafia, no nasty cliquey school mums, no constant stream of requests and financial demands from the school, no special 'days' to fork out for, like comic relief, world book day, harvest festival, children in need etc etc etc, no homework, no parents evenings, no forking out for exorbitantly priced school uniform and PE kids, and school trips.

Just chill out and have the lessons when you want, and give them any extra work or projects when you want. No shitty school rules and regulations, days off when you want them, off to the beach when it's sunny, no 'fines' for not sending them into school, and no favouritism, (teachers ALWAYS have favourite pupils and favourite parents.)

If I could see my time over again, and I could have afforded to not work, I would very likely home-school DD. When I think about it, her school days weren't great really. They weren't horrific, and she did well, but given the choice, I reckon she would have stayed at home. She absolutely LOVED school holidays, and we had a great time going to museums, theme parks, zoos, beaches, cities, the park for picnics, and the woodlands. And she loved doing arts and crafts with me too. I'd have loved to have home-schooled her to be honest.

Yes it's relentless, worse when more than one DC at primary and then of course there is also the birthday parties, play dates and extracurricular stuff.

Oh God! That reminds me of DS announcing on a Sunday night that he forgot he had to build a replica of WWI trenches for Monday morning.

We finally turned out a WWI trenches chocolate cake, left the kitchen a mess and crawled into bed at midnight. I am a truly terrible baker. I still get a bit giggly thinking about it.

Love, love LOVE this! 🌟

Yep, totally normal. It is a particularly busy term though as well.

I have DC in 2 different schools and Parent Hub (messaging app) pings all day long!

Doesn't help that one school is hopelessly last minute with everything (notice of non uniform day at 9pm the previous evening for example).

Never know whether I'm coming or going! 😂

Just had a look and between 2 schools we've had 87 parent hub messages since the beginning of the school year!
I miss the days of a monthly newsletter in the book bag! 😂

I am from a single parent household, and, growing up in the 1980's, I used to dread non uniform days. I was always dressed in hand me downs, and my single parent couldn't afford the donation. If schools could just limit the amount of non uniform days to one a year, then parents nowadays wouldn't become stressed at providing something decent ( and affordable ) to wear, do schools realise that, when siblings go to their classes on non uniform days, their parents may struggle with donation amounts for more than one child?

No teachers ‘want’ to do any of this.

They have to.

For posters querying why all this is happening ‘when we never did any of it when I was at school’ - much of this is down to Ofsted, who may very well not have been around when you were at school.

When I went to primary school (late 70s/early 80s) there was none of this enforced ‘enrichment’ malarkey for the simple reason that schools weren’t relentlessly assessed and graded and challenged and scrutinised in the way they are now. The idea of homework, or a reading book coming home, was laughable. There was also far less in terms of stringent guidelines for health and safety. No such thing as safeguarding. No PTA. Definitely no such thing as healthy eating week, or set adult/child ratios for trips. We walked to school on our own, any old soul could walk straight onto the school grounds should they fancy it, we took 5p coins to school to buy highland toffee in the tuck shop and were caned if we stepped out of line.

Most teachers loathe all the dress up
day fundraising enrichment bollocks as well but they’ll get slammed if they don’t do it. Because like it or not that is the expectation now.

Many schools don't do non uniform days now especially those in deprived areas where some pupils would be subject to bullying because of what they wore, but guess what. The parents complain about that too!

@MintJulia that is genius!

Mine have got a non uniform day tomorrow.

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps it really did die down when my two went to secondary. Both now left and graduated / at uni! I still get requests - but from them eg is broccoli expensive? How often do I wash the bath mat? Is this a scam text? Look at my tea! Where do you buy xyz? etc etc...

You are lucky that you can pay for your children, think of the tens of thousands that can't pay, that £1 is a loaf of bread that at least gives the children toast for breakfast. There is no need for all these extras. If the head wants a lovely PR stunt for the school website let her/him pay for it.

What are parents supposed to do who can't afford all this stuff?
I've been out of teaching for 13 years now and it was never as bad as this. I worked in a range of schools - in deprived areas and more well off areas. There were suggested voluntary contributions for school trips but we never chased anyone -up who didn't pay and the parents knew they didn't have to pay if they were unable to.
We never asked for donations for craft activities, classroom supplies or anything like that. However, the schools were very badly resourced - I spent a fortune of my own money on books, toys, games, glue sticks (in one school we were allocated 6 per year...), pencils for the children (because we were given 30 for the year for the class which wasn't enough - pencils end up being too short to write with and of course it's inevitable that pencils go missing).

I really do wonder what happens if parents just can't afford these things. There was a thread not so long ago about a parent being asked to stump up quite a lot of money for a trip at short notice. The school was insisting on her paying. She said she didn't have the money at that time. And she got her ass handed to her on a plate by a lot of posters on here who didn't seem to understand that if you haven't got the money, you haven't got the money. Some people might be able to afford something but not at short notice.

@dailyfup the ones who can't afford it don't pay it. None of it is compulsory and no one really monitors who paid £1 for Comic Relief or who bought a tin of beans for the Harvest Festival.
The only exception is school trips which there will be discretionary funds (some government provided, some by money raised by the PTA) for those who can't afford it.

Just received letter on parent app of all the upcoming events. Another non uniform day and children in need. Then a secret friend where you are given another childs name and bring in a present for them. What is the point of this???? With a cost of living crisis, it's not for charity and its wasteful and you will probably get that in return for your child gift that goes straight in the bin! Then Christmas jumper, which is again wasteful buying something they will barely wear. And a bunch of other events

@SchoolRequests
Is there a job for this? Does someone sit there for 40 hours a week & think more stupid ideas up? Sigh..

Can you opt out now of christmas gift swap? There must be a mechanism for this as some children don't celebrate Christmas - a jehovas witness child won't be able to participate.

I wouldn't like the constant requests for donations, but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect parents to take a more active role in their child's education outside the classroom.

If you want enrichment in schools then you have to pay for it. Schools can’t afford it. They can’t even afford soap/sanitizer/glue sticks!!
Blame the government…

Want enrichment in schools then you have to pay for it How is having a secret santa child present swap where you will swap tat that will probably go straight in the bin and having to waste money on a Christmas Jumper (something that will barely get used) enrichment. Both seem very wasteful.

Do you get chance to speak to other parents? If others are same view it might be worth approaching school head and/or governors.
Would be interesting if schools could offer a 'no frills' option (no dress up/own clothes, no craft projects at home, no trips) how many parents would opt for that.

Unfortunately that doesn't help at all.

Why do you think every family is poor? Many of our parents are high earners. Obviously some aren't. Some struggle but others definitely don't. And I think it's rather naive to suggest all families can't afford any donations etc. And donations are voluntary (as are all payments for activities in school time, you can say no).

Many schools are working to a deficit funding wise. They spend more than they receive. On bare bones of staffing. They're a necessity so they need to survive, hence they need financial income.

The income shouldn't come from families, it should come from the government. But until they better resource schools, unfortunately fundraising from families (as well as other sources) is a necessary evil.

Hope that helps

@EmmaDilemma5 I won't be donating even if i can afford it.

There was another thread on here about how certain headteachers are the reason why schools are struggling. Due to mismanagement.

I won't be spending my cash on fixing their mistakes

😊 I'd rather donate to food banks