Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a sick day for this reason?

28 replies

pregnantandstruggling · 12/10/2022 05:52

I was off two weeks ago for 1.5 days with a sickness bug (the half day because on the first day I was sent home at lunchtime after being sick in front of my colleagues at a conference).

I'm also pregnant with baby number two, and for the past few weeks I have been seriously struggling with my mental health and my sleep (or lack of). I'm under the care of the perinatal mental health team and my community mental health team as prior to pregnancy I struggled with anorexia- which became particularly bad in my last pregnancy. It's reared its ugly head again sadly- and now I have awful insomnia as well to boot.

Last night (like every night for the last few weeks) I got a max of three hours sleep- I'm waking up between 1am-2am every morning. This morning I nearly passed out, I assume from the lack of sleep and lack of food.

I can't cope with the thought of going into work today- but I feel like I'll be judged so heavily, especially as I was off just two weeks ago. I've also had to be off a few times so far for scans, midwife appointments etc.

Would I be unreasonable to stay at home today? I don't work on Thursdays so could rest as much as possible then too, plus I have both someone from the mental health community team and my perinatal psychiatrist ringing me tomorrow to discuss options.

OP posts:
Original poster
pregnantandstruggling · 12/10/2022 05:54

To add- I'm also reluctant because I don't know what to say- I'm aware they can't discriminate against me for pregnancy related illnesses, but I feel like saying 'I'm tired' sounds pathetic.

OP posts:
MaggieFS · 12/10/2022 05:59

Everyone has a limit and it sounds like you've reached yours. Don't go in and I don't think you have to give a reason.

yellowgecko · 12/10/2022 06:00

You just call in and say I'm unwell and not coming in today. Then you call your dr and get some help. Hope you feel better soon OP Flowers

MotherOfWhippets · 12/10/2022 06:01

I think it's a bit more than tired OP. I think it would be perfectly fine and I would encourage any of my employees to be off in this situation.

Have a good rest for a couple of days.

RainbowsMoonbeams · 12/10/2022 06:18

YANBU. Lack of sleep is a form of torture.

Please take the day off and do not feel guilty about it. Your health comes first.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 12/10/2022 06:29

I'd considered taking Friday off too. I had 8 weeks off in both pregnancies! Now is really a time to prioritise yourself.

FattyAirways · 12/10/2022 06:35

Do it. It'll be good for you and baby! Curl up and read/watch TV/nap/whatever takes your fancy.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 12/10/2022 06:36

Don't go in, sounds horrendous. Could you talk to your GP and get signed off for a week so you can properly recover?

Sceptre86 · 12/10/2022 06:38

Get signed off op. I didn't in my first pregnancy when i was really struggling with pgp, I had to use crutches at work and was just a number really. It may well only be for a few weeks but hopefully in that time the perinatal mental health team will support you with some kind of a plan.

HettySunshine · 12/10/2022 06:38

Please take today off and be kind to yourself. Is it possible to speak to someone from your mental health team today?

What's your calorie intake like? Are you able to eat regularly?

Sending strength to you. Anorexia and pregnancy are a horrible combination.

NeedMoMoney · 12/10/2022 06:41

Yep take the day off! Don't ever feel guilty for taking time off for scans and maternity appointments either! Ive just had my little babies and because I was considered a high risk pregnancy I had one scan each month, each scan was on a Monday around lunch time at work, sometimes I was out a maximum 2.5 hours (including travel time to appointment) my work just had to deal with it! Just ring up and say you're unwell, you don't have to tell them why, I hope you start to feel well soon! Look after you and your baby 💐

sittingonacornflake · 12/10/2022 06:41

I'm another vote for you getting a fit note. I think you could do with a good amount of time off. You poor thing. Rest up and DO NOT feel guilty. Take care of yourself and your baby Flowers

sassyduck · 12/10/2022 06:51

Stay at home. Your health is the priority not work.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 12/10/2022 06:56

Op I was very I'll duringnone of my pregnancies and pushed myself way pat the limit through insomnia sickness and really bad restless legs.

I would drive to work with a sick bucket in my car every morning Confused

I ended up very poorly and had to start maternity leave a lot earlier than anticipated because I ended up just totally exhausted.

I got a bollocking from my midwife one day about how much pressure I was putting me and my baby under and something clicked that day.

Be kind to yourself op x

Musti · 12/10/2022 07:04

Op you need time off. You can’t function with lack of sleep and sickness when pregnant. I can survive on little sleep normally but when pregnant I needed long night sleeps and would sometimes need a nap. At my work o went to the sick room to sleep during my lunchtime in one job and the library of another job. When I was a sahm I had an afternoon nap for many years.

Calmdown14 · 12/10/2022 07:07

Could you say you think you are anaemic and going to the doctor? Rather than saying 'tired'.

In all likelihood you actually are if you're not eating well and pregnant. It also causes lightheadedness, fluttery heart and can affect sleep

LadyLolaRuben · 12/10/2022 07:16

Stay off work. Just tell them your unwell and are going to see your GP. Then do exactly that. Take care

Whattheactualfcku · 12/10/2022 07:18

When you’re pregnant it’s far more acceptable as you’re growing another tiny human inside you! If you feel you can’t get through the day at work just say you’re poorly and struggling and have a rest for a few days and get the support you need

Suzi888 · 12/10/2022 07:21

Could you swap your days instead? It’s not good to take odd days off here and there (at least not where I work).

You sound like you would be better off seeing your G.P and getting a long term sick note. I think you need to take longer off than just the one day, look after yourself.

BlackKittyMama · 12/10/2022 07:22

As a mental health nurse…absolutely not unreasonable! Lack of sleep will of course have a knock on affect on your mental well-being. It definitely sounds like you’ve reached your limit, listen to your body.

outtheshowernow · 12/10/2022 07:32

Go to the doctors today and get signed off for a month with exhaustion you have to put you and the baby first. Who cares what they think

gettingolderandgrumpier · 12/10/2022 07:54

Yes definitely I suspect you’ll not be as productive as you normally are so it’s pointless going in when unwell . Stay home and rest don’t worry about work Your really not well .

cultkid · 12/10/2022 07:58

Have you got urine dip sticks
Do you think you're in extreme ketosis? It can really really damage your kidneys

I would say Gp, urine dip, and then you may need to be at hospital for fluids to help you flush the ketones out if you're not eating

How much can you bare to eat a day?

Is the baby growing?

I would say you could benefit from some sleeping pills, even an anti histamine one to just go to sleep

Is your partner supporting you with the other child so you can stay in bed?

RedSquirrelRoar · 12/10/2022 08:29

Absolutely call in sick (and see GP) - as a manager i wouldn’t want one of my team feeling like they had to come in if they were so ill and exhausted they were nearly fainting! You should be able to self certify for 7 working days and if you need longer, get a fit note from GP.

housinghero · 12/10/2022 08:40

take the time off- look after yourself and your baby. xxx Any good doctor will sign you off in a heartbeat

Swipe left for the next trending thread