To have told DS’s psychiatrist he's refusing his meds?

[uralecru]

Just that really.

DS is 17, we all suspect he has BPD, he's currently under camhs. In July, he had to stay in hospital for a few days as he was a danger to himself - he would've been sectioned but I was told this would've done him more harm than good. His antidepressents had started working and he seemed a bit better, he's not self harmed for months (that I know about) so I thought things were starting to get better after a horrible year.

College started and so did the anxiety but he still seemed ok.

However, yesterday one of his friends told me that he's been telling her he feels how he did before but another ‘friend’ had told him recently he complains 24/7 so he's stopped telling everyone how he feels, that he doesn't think he'll make it to 18 etc.

He's not taken his meds for a few days either, when asked why he's just told us he doesn't want to and no one can force him.

Today, I phoned his psychiatrist and told her what his friend told me and that he's not taking his meds, she wants to see him tomorrow and I've told him this, which seemed to make him angry as he was shouting at me that they're going to say he's unsafe again but he's really fine etc.

DP has said I shouldn't have phoned her as I've probably made things worse now with his anxiety and we should've just put the meds in his drink as its a liquid, but I don't know how I'd feel doing this as it would help him, but its also lying to him.

WIBU?

You did the right thing, IMO. Putting the meds in a drink for a 17 year old is a bizarre suggestion.

No, you can't just hide his meds. People have a right to medical autonomy.

I have no advice, but lots of sympathy. Having supported a friend with severe mental health issues I know how much of a toll it takes on everyone and the worry that you have there constantly.

You absolutely did the right thing. Unfortunately part of the symptoms on having a mental illness can be a refusal to accept that you need meds. That’s not solved by hiding them in a drink.

His medical team have to know if he isn’t being medication compliant. Sudden withdrawal from certain meds is physically dangerous as well as mentally.

I've been on multiple meds for MH issues and there isn’t a single one that doesn’t taste vile so you’d not be able to hide it, and it’s wrong on so many levels to even attempt to.

You can't go covertly drugging people, that's just your DH's desperation talking. I would've been incandescent at that age if I'd discovered my parents had been sneaking drugs that I'd decided not to take into my food and drink (though I'd moved out by that age, but still). Keeping the doctor in charge of his care informed was the right thing to do. And you need to bear in mind that a few months from now, you'll have a whole lot less involvement with his care than you do now, so you need to prepare for that.

DP has said he doesn't know what they'll do as DS has made it clear no one can force him so it'll cause him anxiety for ‘no reason'. I don't know what they can do but I was at a loss on what to do earlier.