AIBU to think y7 DD should be more organised?

[GirlOrganised]

NC

DD is in year 7. Over the last 2 or 3 or so, she’s lost:

• 2 pairs of black leather shoes
• School sports leggings
• School tracksuit bottoms
• Water bottle
• skort

Every evening, I have to ask her several times to pack her PE bag/get her uniform ready. I keep asking her to check list and found but she’s not been.

She found her skort and bottle in the changing room today.

This evening, I’ve had to remind her to check her homework and do it because when I asked her earlier in the week, she said she didn’t have any. She spent while doing it this evening. I’ll check their online communication for all homework now that I have access.

Is this normal? Am I expecting too much?
How can I get her more organised? Help me please!

Or if you can cheer me up with nightmare stories of your DC stories in y7, I’ll know we’re not alone.

Being organised is a learned skill for some people.

In your position I would sit down with my dd and explain why it was important for her to work on this skill, and then together we'd brainstorm what strategies might help her. You are on her side and helping her to get better at this.

My youngest is similar. One thing that has helped is having a 'remember bracelet' which is just a string of beads we made which she wears as a reminder to do something e.g. return library books or check lost property.

She spoke to her teacher and made self-management her personal goal this year.
We celebrate her efforts and make a much bigger deal of her successes than her failures. She is SO much better than she was.

Totally normal starting secondary. I check bag packing on an evening and laying out of uniform. Nightly homework diary check. It seems to be they think with bit more freedom at high school they can get away with more.

I dont replace lost pe uniform, and send them in generic stuff - usually enough motivation to check lost of found as they dont want to look different

My biggest puzzle was that eldest teachers complained that he never had stationary at pt meeting. I'd spent £10 on pens and pencils etc. I still to this day have no idea what he did with all the stationary.
Eldest dc also managed to lose lots of parts of pe kit and found them weeks later. Somehow he ended up with 3 extra ties that had no name on them.

Dd was just the same I found this book very helpful

That sounds like a good idea. Thank you for sharing.
DH and I have spoken to her on different occasions calmly , etc , but not spoken about practical solutions like the bracelet.
Does the bracelet have a letter the task written out in full or a symbol ‘L’ for library, etc. I’ll have a look to see if I can find inspiration. She loves making jewellery so we can make it together.

That made me chuckle. Thank you

That’s resssuring 😀. Hopefully, she’ll find them. I really don’t want to buy new shoes. She took a third pair ( which are too tight tbh) and then left them today. They’re in her locker (apparently) so I’m not counting them for now.

Just check if bracelets are allowed at school before making one!

Perfectly normal for Y7s to need help with organisation, they've not had to do it in primary school! I'd sit on DS's bed with his timetable and read out the subjects that he had next day while he found the right books and packed his bag. Before we left the house in the morning I'd get him to check keys, wallet, phone, headphones.

They've got so much to get to grips with at school, new friendships, new teachers, finding their way around. A little bit of help at home goes a long way.

Ha! That’s quite a good description for where she is right now.
It looks good so I’ve ordered it. Thank you 😊

Check that she has lost her stuff rather than it has been picked up by another child -- whether accidentally or deliberately.

I have one in Y7 too. Stationery and water bottles he’s fine with, but hasn’t come home with a full PE kit a single time yet, and we’re already using the spare tie as the full time tie hoping the original shows up.

If your primary school was like ours, the kids just didn’t go back to changing for PE on the day after covid and just went in their kit all day, so I think they got rather out of practice in changing and keeping track of all their clothes!

That’s reassuring. Thank you.
We pack her bags in the evening, get her snacks and lay her uniform out.
You’re right .

I think I’m a bit thrown because for the first couple of weeks, she returned everything. She’s getting more comfortable with friends so chatting a lot ( relieved she’s made friends because she’s the only one from her primary there!) and getting distracted!
I was constantly telling her proud I was for how she was taking everything in her stride.

I’ll be more encouraging again.

That’s exactly it. They never changed back from PE on PE days. I’ve another DC at a different secondary and they still wear PE kit from home on PE days.