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AIBU?

To continue with this relationship or not?

3 replies

stickywicket2022 · 11/10/2022 12:36

This is my first post and having followed for years,I need solid advice. Posting on here as I know I'll get straight advice . Im in a relationship of three years.We dont live together and had planned to in around 5\6 years when our kids are grown and more independent. He currently lives with family as he has lost his home to divorce and there are no rental properties available in the area due to supply and inflation.Therefore we can only stay at mine on our weekends together because I dont want to spend my free weekends with his folks. This is annoying as my own two older teens are around and up late etc. He makes me laugh, is a great confidante and is chatty and kind.He can also be overbearing and a bit of a mansplainer at times.He has been sick fro the last few months and has become short at times, impatient if you will. He is tired and lacks motivation to do too much, again because he has been unwell. I feel like the lack of motivation and present struggles are making me miserable and joyless for the future.I feel that theres nothing to look forward to due to his illness and now it looks like his job may be on the line. It feels like its one thing after another with little hope. Ive supported him through everything tp the detriment of my own health,stupidly, AIBU to want to throw in the towel?

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Frida9 · 11/10/2022 13:01

Do you still want to be as unhappy as you are in 2, 3, 5 years? What will change in that time?
Have you spoken to your partner about how unhappy you are?
Really op it sounds like you need a break from this guy, take some time for yourself and focus on what you and your kids need for a while. That will give you a clearer idea of whether you need this guy or not.

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stickywicket2022 · 11/10/2022 13:38

Thanks.Im so torn.Im bored.I feel guilty.Im tired.There is little joy.He is lovely and would make a great life partner in time.I think I need to give it a time frame especially regarding finding a house to rent.It all feels too enmeshed and dependent and not wholly attractive at 50 years of age.

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Blacknosugarplease · 11/10/2022 13:41

I hope you figure it out, but remember you don’t owe him anything. All give and no take can get wearing.

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