To ask for house party advice

partysue · 2022-10-10T16:38:08+00:00

I feel like there might be some great expertise on MN for this! I absolutely love to entertain and am lucky to have a really fun bunch of friends. I recently bought a new house which is perfect for entertaining, but I've not actually ended up doing it! My friends are a lively bunch so our weekends are full of concerts or bars or festivals. I am really itching to do something at my house around Christmas but I can't figure out how to make it fun enough for it to be a good substitute for a great night out. I don't want to do a dinner party are we're too big a group (I reckon we could be 30 people or more if everyone came). How do I even start? I want to do something indoors because I bloody hate the cold (and don't want to be weather dependent). I've got no nearby neighbours so not worried about the noise but am worried about the house getting wrecked. I would definitely want to provide food and drink (but hope people would bring a bottle). I'm pretty dab hand in the kitchen but deciding what food to provide would be trickier. I just have fears of people not showing up, or showing up but standing around awkwardly making conversation (as they're from a variety of different groups of friends from different walks of life). I also have a very wide circle of less close friends who are great fun, but where I draw the line? I making everyone welcome but I don't want to up with something resembling one of those American frat party scenes from a film, where 1000 people turn up. I do like the more the merrier as a concept though. How do you pull off a great party at home? Send me all your best advice!

Original poster

partysue · 10/10/2022 17:39

Bloody hell. Excuse the typos. I wish MN let you edit!

OP posts:

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 10/10/2022 17:40

I think buffet food is the way to go here or maybe order a selection of pizzas? Then just serve up some salad, garlic bread and dips?

Poppyseed14 · 10/10/2022 17:40

Do a buffet style thing and everyone brings a dish of some sort?

hauntedvagina · 10/10/2022 17:42

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 10/10/2022 17:40

I think buffet food is the way to go here or maybe order a selection of pizzas? Then just serve up some salad, garlic bread and dips?

This is a great idea. Means that you're not catering in advance, so if only 15 out the 30 turn up, you only order half the amount of pizza.

Original poster

partysue · 10/10/2022 17:46

Poppyseed14 · 10/10/2022 17:40

Do a buffet style thing and everyone brings a dish of some sort?

I'm definitely happy to cook the food myself. That's half the fun for me!

OP posts:

INeverSawAPurpleCow · 10/10/2022 17:58

I would suggest you make half a dozen dishes and do a lot of each rather than a small amount of each of 20 dishes.

gogohmm · 10/10/2022 18:01

Make the main, ask your guests to bring hors d'oevres or dessert. Put away anything that could be easily knocked that you really care about

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/10/2022 18:16

How disparate are the groups of friends? It isn’t always the more the merrier. We went to an awkward house party last Christmas where half the guests were our usual crowd of Burning Man / kink scene good friends but the host had also invited her old bunch of university friends who were standoffish and didn’t want to talk to anyone who wasn’t “their” clique, some women from her book club who were, let’s say, very naive, some schoolgate mum friends who had nothing in common with any of us, a couple of her colleagues etc. It just didn’t work and even the host said she wouldn’t try mixing everyone together again. Try to imagine everyone together before doing it.

We host and attend a lot of house parties and the usual recipe for a good one is to let it spill across several rooms so everyone isn’t hemmed into the living room, prep the garden so it’s also a usable space (however cold it is, half the party always ends up in the garden) and make sure that you put a couple of people in charge of the music. And house rules are important: you can’t really get your nose out of joint because somebody spilled red wine on the white bedlinen if you didn’t think to ban drinks upstairs and so on. We also ban glass because it just really cuts down on make people bring their own drinking vessels so there aren’t a billion used cups and glasses on surfaces - but then we are Burners to whom bringing your own cup is second nature anyway.

We always find that people actually like to feel useful and as though they’ve contributed by bringing something for a buffet rather than showing up to be catered for. But again, this probably is just because it’s the sort of people our friendship is made up of.

CheezePleeze · 10/10/2022 18:21

Don't 'hope' your guests bring a bottle, tell them to bring their own booze.

brendablue · 10/10/2022 18:51

what are burners, may I ask?

brendablue · 10/10/2022 18:52

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/10/2022 18:16

How disparate are the groups of friends? It isn’t always the more the merrier. We went to an awkward house party last Christmas where half the guests were our usual crowd of Burning Man / kink scene good friends but the host had also invited her old bunch of university friends who were standoffish and didn’t want to talk to anyone who wasn’t “their” clique, some women from her book club who were, let’s say, very naive, some schoolgate mum friends who had nothing in common with any of us, a couple of her colleagues etc. It just didn’t work and even the host said she wouldn’t try mixing everyone together again. Try to imagine everyone together before doing it.

We host and attend a lot of house parties and the usual recipe for a good one is to let it spill across several rooms so everyone isn’t hemmed into the living room, prep the garden so it’s also a usable space (however cold it is, half the party always ends up in the garden) and make sure that you put a couple of people in charge of the music. And house rules are important: you can’t really get your nose out of joint because somebody spilled red wine on the white bedlinen if you didn’t think to ban drinks upstairs and so on. We also ban glass because it just really cuts down on make people bring their own drinking vessels so there aren’t a billion used cups and glasses on surfaces - but then we are Burners to whom bringing your own cup is second nature anyway.

We always find that people actually like to feel useful and as though they’ve contributed by bringing something for a buffet rather than showing up to be catered for. But again, this probably is just because it’s the sort of people our friendship is made up of.

meant to quote !

takealettermsjones · 10/10/2022 18:56

Beer pong! Instant icebreaker.

user1471494928 · 10/10/2022 18:59

CheezePleeze · 10/10/2022 18:21

Don't 'hope' your guests bring a bottle, tell them to bring their own booze.

You should supply enough drinks for the night, if people bring something then that’s a bonus.

HairyMcLarie · 10/10/2022 19:20

@user1471494928
"You should supply enough drinks for the night, if people bring something then that’s a bonus."

What? The OP will be bankrupt if she's attempting to keep 30 people in alcohol for the evening!

It's pretty standard for guests to go to a party with what they want to drink and the host provides plenty of back up wine, beer and mixers or a welcome drink.

I'd be saying 'bring a bottle' 'or bring what you want to drink'. I've been to parties where the alcohol has been provided by the host but they were very clear about it and it's usually big events like 40th birthdays or engagement parties

FiveMins · 10/10/2022 19:26

We do and go to loads of parties. In the main the host makes a big dish (curry/chilli). Everyone else brings a dish/desert/snack. Some people are amazing cooks some aren't and being crisps/cheese etc. No one cares.
Everyone brings booze. Host has extra wine/beer/ bottle of spirits or two.