Getting married in days and so worried I’ll faint or throw up

[babyorhouse]

I have just a few days to go and I’m suddenly so anxious these will happen. It’s only a small wedding as well, 25 guests in a registry office and no bridesmaids or extra fanfare so less stressful than most weddings, although I am walking down the ‘aisle’ with someone.

When I get anxious I am prone to retching (lovely) which is bad enough when I’m about to board a plane or go into the dentist but at my wedding with all eyes on me it seems so much WORSE. I’m worried I’ll pass out during the ceremony, standing for 10-20 minutes with all eyes on me and having to speak out loud, unable to leave without looking like I’m bailing on the marriage I am really excited to marry my partner, I just cannot wait for the ceremony to be over so we can enjoy the reception and our wedding night.

can anyone relate? Any tips on how to get through without throwing up or passing out?!

Yes I can relate!

I married in April in a small venue with 22 guests (5 were bridesmaids and yes it did look weird but decided that I’d just do what I want without sorting what people think lol)

I can’t lie to you it is nerve wracking

My fear was tripping up, saying vows wrong and before I walked down aisle I kept saying my dress was too tight and I couldn’t breathe (it was just my anxiety)

All I can say is the anxiety lifts when you’re at the altar with your husband and you won’t be sick. My husband forgot one of his lines, everyone laughed and it was a funny moment which still makes us laugh today. Especially when you’re in front of family and friends it won’t matter, even if you are sick or feel sick xx congratulations

Can you pop into the registry office today (or beforehand) and familiarise yourself with the place? Chat to the celebrant and let them know how nervous you are? Perhaps they can make you feel more st ease.

I get terribly nervous in those situations too. I think I’d arrive super early on the day and allow myself to settle a little beforehand.

Look up and try ‘tapping’. It’s a technique that can help people stay calm. It’s free and you can do it in the run up to and directly before you walk down the aisle.

Rescue remedy?

Then also just trying to focus on the fact that everyone there loves you and wants you to enjoy your day. Deep breaths, you can do this!

I was also really nervous ahead of our wedding at the idea of feeling very much in the spotlight but tbh see on the day it was all just so lovely that I just wanted to make the most of every minute of it. We had about 90 guests which sounded like loads but actually when I sat and thought about it they were all people I knew really well and really cared about so it wasn't anywhere near as scary in reality as the idea was in my head. It's actually so so nice seeing everything come together and the only bit I was nervous for was on the way to the venue and just before we walked in. Then it all just melted away, I was also really determined to be excited instead of nervous so think that helped me. If you're prone to sickness could you chat to your gp to see if they could give you some anti nausea medicine to take that morning. Rescue remedies are good and I think just plan out your morning so you have lots of time to just sit back and get pampered and enjoy yourself without feeling like you're in a rush or going to be late or anything. You will have a fabulous day and everyone says it but it honestly goes by so so fast and you'll be busier than you expect so just be determined to soak it all in and enjoy it.

Maybe don't bother with the walking down the 'aisle'. You don't need to do it if you'd don't want to. Or swap - have future husband do it.
At my Registar wedding we had two chairs at the front that we sat in while the Registar did the introduction legal stuff she had to say. We stood up for our bit and then sat back down again for signing the register and all that. You don't even need to stand up if you don't want to
You could stay sat down with the chairs facing each other to say your bit.

@babyorhouse I find the 5 senses technique helps me hugely when I start feeling anxious www.groovnow.com/blog/connect-with-all-5-senses-to-ease-anxiety-and-feel-calm
It gives your mind something else to focus on, and I keep doing it on a loop until I calm down, although normally only need to do it once or twice)

Hope you have a lovely day!

This technique will help slow your heart rate... breath out for longer than you breath on for one minute. Take a slow deep breath in over the count of say 7. Then breath out slowly for the count of 10.
Fainting is due to tour blood pressure being low. Squeezing your calf muscles whilst you are stood up will help send the blood back up to your organs.
Congratulations on your wedding. I’m sure it will be great!!

I had forgotten about the tapping method I will give that a try!

Have an amazing day and come back and let us know you smashed it (no fainting/puking etc)!

We sta part of the ceremony so no problem there

Extra strong mints

Extra strong mint will definitely in my bag!

i really hope we get to sit part of the ceremony… we’ve got some readings and I hope we aren’t left standing during those

Tell your partner about your fears, so if you do faint etc he knows why, and that you're not baling out of the marriage. Take a travels sickness pill that morning.

As soon as you get to the wedding venue, the joy of the occasion will sweep you up and all fears will be forgotten . All will be well. Have a wonderful day.

@babyorhouse please tell them you need chairs. Just tell them.
The thing with these ceremonies there is some legal words to say and legal things to sign but pretty much everything else is your choice.
If you want to sit during the readings - then sit. Sit during the whole thing if you want to.

I stood during my whole ceremony. It’s your wedding - if you want a chair you can ask them for a chair!

think rationally. If you do faint or throw up, what’s the worst that can happen. Embarrassing yes, but you’ll live. At a small wedding you’ll no doubt know everyone well. They’ll all be rooting for you and supportive of you.

Organise the ceremony however you want. Instead of a big entrance, you and your nearly-husband could welcome in your guest at the door, just like you would if they were coming to your home. You can also sit/stand as much as you like. Just email your celebrant and give them a heads up first.

As for the vowes, you will be absolutely fine, it is iterally just repeating what they said. You don't have to memorise anything. Look at your husband and don't worry about anything else. Will be over in a flash and you'll wonder after what you were stressing about! Have a fab day.

My mum says she will hold a nice white bucket with flowers on.

Boyfriend knows I will be sucking mints during any vows.

Room must be COLD so I don't get hot and bothered.

Private bathroom earmarked at any reception venue.

Hopefully none needed but I like to plan ahead for when we get married.

Honestly I just blanked everyone else out and focused on (almost!) DH. We walked in together, holding hands, and that really helped.

Can you ask for a chair? I got married when I was three months pregnant with horrendous morning sickness and I was terrified I'd faint or throw up. The lovely registrar let me put a chair in the aisle. I didn't use it but felt better knowing it was there.

Had to come back to let you all know I did it, and I did not faint nor throw up the emotions of the moment totally took my focus and I had no head space to think about being fainty or pukey.

I am married woohoo!

Horray! Nice one.

Yay!!! Congratulations. 🎉