I am in a mental health walking group with around 8-10 other ladies - the group size fluctuates on who can attend each week / who feels comfortable attending. Some of the member are newer, some of us have been there since the start. It's run by an NHS mental health team and we walk and talk with three/four therapists and one/two trainees. Everyone in the group is finishing their treatment within the next few months, apart from one lady (PregLady) who is about to give birth.
PregLady has been there since the start, as have I, so we do know each other quite well, and I would go as far as to say we are friends. The friends bit is why I am asking if IABU, as not sure if this is clouding my view. PregLady's husband was involved in a serious accident whilst working abroad and still remains in hospital abroad (this is relevant a bit later on). PregLady has also had another child whilst the group was running (and two older ones).
One of the newcomers has major issues with many member of the group and many of us have commented that it is now a walking on eggshells group. We have raised this and been ignored. NewLady gets upset at the slightest comment, has shouted at people, thrown tantrums, flaunted group rules, screamed in my face etc.
When NL first started PL was in the group and coming regularly, she really helped calm down NL many times. She also didn't suffer fools gladly and would leave a situation if she wasn't finding it helpful. PL then had to go abroad (husband's accident) and was away for six weeks. Those of us that are friends with PL did not know what was happening at first for a few days - she just went very silent on communications. There's a handful of us who have met her husband and other kids. The mental health team then asked a few of us to attend the group but arrive 30 minutes earlier and go to a clinic room beforehand. We were then all told what was happening, were allowed to ask questions, but were asked not to tell the wider group as it involved someone's medical situation. We were also told we could discuss it privately with the team if we needed. Husband's family were at his bedside, children were flown across - it looked really dire at some points.
We were assured that PregLady would continue to get support.
Preglady returned home a few weeks ago as for some reason she had to come back much sooner than the actual birth. She returned to the group and told everyone what was happening, husband improving but still a very long way to go, everyone else fine etc.
Last group we had on Wednesday and PregLady is about to pop. NL suddenly says well we won't be seeing you for a few months. We had all been asked beforehand if we were all happy with the baby coming. Every single person said that was not an issue. PregLady already has a nanny for the other three kids but said 6 weeks ago that if there was an issue she could organise another for the newborn to walk close to us, but not with us (which is what her husband did with the last one most of the time, sometimes the baby did join us until it was about 6 months). Agreed this was not needed.
NL has now going to the directors and PregLady has been told she cannot bring the baby to the group, needs to find at home childcare and has created friction in the group by suggesting brining the baby was an option. PregLady doesn't want to fight it but is not pleased. NL has said she will not attend the group if there is a baby there because she decided not to have children and now at age 45 she is regretting it and is "triggered" by babies.
Am I being unreasonable to be absolutely livid? In doing this they have removed four hours of support per week (twice weekly group) from PregLady.