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AIBU?

To send the dog to daycare on DD’s birthday?

19 replies

RelationshipAdvice93 · 09/10/2022 23:39

So my dog goes to daycare 1 day a week - the walker does really long walks with him that I can’t manage (for health reasons) and he gets the chance to socialise with loads of other dogs too - it’s really boosted his confidence because he is a very anxious puppy (he is nearly 7 months old).

DD’s (6) birthday is coming up at the end of the year and I’m thinking to use that day to send the dog to daycare for a couple of reasons… firstly, my family are absolutely obsessed with the dog and there has been times where my daughter has expressed that she has felt left out and ignored - and obviously I don’t want her feeling like this on her special day that SHOULD be all about her. Secondly, my dog is still very anxious around people and there will be quite a large crowd of people and I think this will be too overwhelming for him (he had a bad experience with his breeder - I think he was abused - and he wees and poos out of fear around humans that aren’t me and my daughter or family members that visit pretty much daily).

He is crate trained but my family will keep trying to take him out or make comments the whole time because they don’t agree with crate training (I don’t want to debate that on here - it worked for us - it’s his safe space where he is very happy to go off to). And I can’t put him in another part of the house because he gets major separation anxiety if he knows I’m in the house but he can’t see me (something we are working on).

A few members of my family won’t probably like it as they pretty much only come to visit the dog and make it very obvious to me and DD, but WIBU to send him off for the day to have a run around instead?

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Am I being unreasonable?

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jellytots5 · 09/10/2022 23:40

I can't see why it should be an issue, sounds like it will be an easy solution.

wonder113 · 09/10/2022 23:42

Just do it. Your dog, your choice.

BobLobIaw · 09/10/2022 23:42

Jesus. Your family prefer the mutt to their own human child relative. That sucks. How can people be this awful? Your poor child.

Get rid of the family.

SugarNspices · 09/10/2022 23:46

Who wants a dog weeing and pooing and taking all the attention at her party, I don't blame you. Your family sound like they got their priorities wrong too. It's just a dog!

ErrolTheDragon · 09/10/2022 23:53

YANBU, sounds like a very good idea.
You'd better let the strange family members know ahead of time that you're doing it but lay it on that it's because you think it'll be less stressful for the dog.

I hope your DD has a lovely birthday.

Ihatethenewlook · 09/10/2022 23:58

I’d be cancelling the family party and spending DD’s birthday with people who actually give a shit about her.

WhereYouLeftIt · 10/10/2022 00:00

Your family sound like total arseholes. Rude to you and your daughter and damaging to the dog's safety and comfort. Arseholes! I would definitely send the dog to daycare that day, for it's own good.

I'd tell these family members in advance that the dog will be in daycare, then hopefully they won't turn up at all. They sound really unpleasant to deal with.

Cw112 · 10/10/2022 00:09

Your family need to learn boundaries! Your dog your house your rules! Our doggo goes to daycare a few times a week and LOVES it. It's majorly boosted his confidence with other dogs and just in general plus he comes home so tired it gives us a few nights in the week where we don't need to do super long walks as he'd need 2+hrs a day minimum due to breed. I would be so cross if my family were visiting and directly contradicting how I train my pup. Would they come to your house and immediately start criticising your parenting because it's the same? You don't need anyone's approval to look after your dog how you see fit. And if anyone makes comments about being disappointed the dog isn't there I'd remind them it's your daughters day and sure isn't she the one they're visiting for anyways.

Georgeandzippyzoo · 10/10/2022 00:20

Definitely send him. I often put ours in for 'treat'days.

You are putting your daughter first,

Your pup will disregulated if you keep him home, causing him distress and you anxiety.

You will be able to relax more knowing everything is under control.

If anyone complains point out its your daughter's birthday, and also that the dog gets distressed but they are welcome to pop round on other days yo see the dog. (IF you want them popping round!!)

TwoShades1 · 10/10/2022 04:42

Sounds like an excellent idea for everyone!

Doggy will have a much nicer more relaxed day at his usual care place. Daughter can enjoy birthday being focused on her rather than continuous worry about how the dog is/what’s he doing. And you will be more relaxed not needing to clean up dog mess or have disagreements with family members who won’t respect your training methods.

OriginalUsername3 · 10/10/2022 06:22

He definitely needs to go to the daycare. He won't be happy at all otherwise.

madnessitellyou · 10/10/2022 06:27

Your family sound utterly hideous. They'd not be coming round at all!

focuspocus · 10/10/2022 06:41

A few members of my family won’t probably like it as they pretty much only come to visit the dog

Do you really want these people there? I might be guilty of giving a puppy in the room a bit of attention but would never take it out of a crate without asking and I would have come there for your DD. As for letting a 6yr old know they came for the puppy!

Nothing wrong with putting him in daycare in any circumstances but for this yeah go for it and let it be her day. Maybe let people know in advance so they don't make a fuss about it on her day still making it all about him and them.

villainousbroodmare · 10/10/2022 06:45

Of course send him. Everyone will have a much better day, especially him.

AuntieMarys · 10/10/2022 06:45

Why are you inviting these weird people to your dds birthday?

WiddlinDiddlin · 10/10/2022 12:53

It's exactly what I'd recommend if you were my client - such events particularly with family members who will NOT follow instruction or respect a dogs space are a perfect recipe for some sort of dog based disaster, which generally costs the dog and the owners far more than the person who caused it!

hennaoj · 10/10/2022 15:49

I'd put your lovely dog in daycare and take your daughter out for a nice birthday treat. Stuff the relatives, it's not about them.

RedHelenB · 10/10/2022 18:32

My children would have wanted the dog around for their birthday. Your dd will still be centre of attention but sharing it a bit with the dog shp7ldnt be a big deal. I think yab a bit unreasonable.

WonkasBooboofixer · 10/10/2022 18:53

Do it. Your family may love your dog but if your dog is so stressed it defecates I would say the feeling isn't mutual. If they can't respect the dogs space and your rules for the dogs welfare then they shouldn't have access to it. Dogs have feelings too and sometimesits all too peoply for them

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