AIBU

[mrssmith45]

I'm at a total loss as to what to do to help my dd. She is 17 and left college after a year of doing a course she really didn't enjoy. I agreed to her leaving as long as she found a job or another course to do. We agreed over the summer she would work out what it was she wanted to do. It's now October and she is still doing nothing! She has a part time job at our local hotel but as it's getting quieter she literally is only doing 1/2 shifts a week. She spends her days in her bed watching tv. She doesn't know what she wants to do which is fair enough but I just think she needs to be doing something! Every conversation we have about it ends in a massive argument. It's so frustrating. We live quite rurally so transport is a bit of an issue but not impossible. She just uses everything as an excuse not to find a job. Any advice would be greatly received! AIBU?? When I was her age I had a full time job straight out of college as doing nothing just wasn't an option!

You cannot compel her to work FT and if you do she’ll resent it
what does she want to do?does she have a plan?what are her friends up to?
Will she get extra xmas hours in the hotel?

Is she learning to drive ?

I think you are right. She either needs to go back to college and do a different course or make a lot more effort to find full time work. Lazing in bed is not on.

I don't necessarily want her to work full time just want her to do something. In my experience the less you do the less you want to do! Unfortunately due to an accident she is unable to drive at the moment, she has an appointment at the hospital after Christmas and hopefully she will have the all clear and be able to learn to drive. She has no idea what she wants to do, which is hard but lying in bed all day won't help her figure it out! Just don't know where to go from here.

in fairness she’s maybe not found her groove yet, maybe she needs time to decide & try things
she has got the hospitality job, presumably she’s ok at it. She’s only 17.
threads like this can descend into you just get her told! Get her lazy bones into productivity etc

She needs to work. No point wasting everyone’s time and money taking places in a course she’s not interested in. But she needs to support herself till she susses out what she wants.