Is he hiding this from me or AIBU?

[theouters]

Partner of three years. Both RP's with several kids. Don't blend and don't intend to. Shared plans for the future / in a few years etc.
We share a milestone birthday next year but haven't made plans as he has been significantly unwell and he doesn't have a prognosis yet .
Chatting to his sister on Thursday who told
Me that a big group of the extended family are going on a big holiday next year and then suggested that I come too!
This was the first I heard of it even though I know he loves the city and really
Wants to go back. At present he can hardly
Commit to dinner out due to his illness.
I can't go anyway due to kids and work commitments but AIBU here?
I presume he is part of this plan, yet despite us chatting about our birthdays and the city in question, never brought this up?
Trying not to lose my shit here before I see him tonight.
Thoughts please ?

This is weird when you say partner of 3 years I'm assuming you are living together?

We're not living together and wont be for many years. Our kids are young.

I would think the plans are there but he isn't committing while his sister is being overly positive about his attendance

YABU. I’m sure he’ll bring it up before he actually goes, if he is well enough to go. Part of not blending is accepting that there are very definitely separate things going on.

Thanks. Is it not off that he didn't bring it up despite discussing the love of the city and birthday plans on many occasions recently.
I can only But assume that the flights etc are booked such is the number of people going ?

Exactly this, seems a little strange that you would assume ill intent on his part unless there’s a back story

Not sure what you'd be losing your shit over - you don't know he knows about it, you can't go anyway and you've not made plans for the event together!

I guess I am upset because I know that he will go at the first chance he gets( if he doesn't s able) even if it
Means that he won't have enough annual
Leave for both of us to go away on our own.
I expect the trip will be given to him as a birthday gift from his family also so there won't be a financial reason for him not to go.

YABU.

It may not actually happen so he hasn’t felt the need to mention it.

I would be upset as every single suggestion I make is met with a negative response due to his incapacity, both short term and long term.
My gut is telling me that he knows about this, is in fact booked to go but is reluctant to tell me because he won't be able to afford two holidays, I cannot go and as above, will hardly commit to an evening out for dinner in the near future.

I don't think you are being unreasonable.
If he knows about the trip, and it isn't a surprise (assuming his sister would have told you not to mention it), I think it's really odd that he wouldn't mention it to you.

I would just talk to your boyfriend, before you get lots of opinions on MN.

I think yabu unfortunately. He may not know anything about it or it may be one last holiday away with his family which they want just for themselves as a goodbye

May be he just doesn't want to think about the future whilst his health is in limbo?

He hasn't made plans with you so technically he hasn't strung you along.

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt u til you discuss it with him.

Hope things work out for you both.