5 Month Old Sleep HELP!!!

[LemonSwan]

I am at breaking point. I am not getting enough sleep and it’s making me an awful mother and partner. I feel like my body is on adrenaline it’s making me quick to anger and irrational rage. I do not like myself right now. I don’t think DP does either. I feel like I am at war with an intangible thing - routine, feeds, night. Of which we don’t have a consistent anything so my never ending reading on the topic results in knowing a thousand things we are doing wrong which I can’t even apply to the unexistent routine.

If that makes no sense I apologise! I haven’t had an unbroken deep sleep in 5 months.

LO is currently waking every couple of hours at night, and not consistently napping in the day. On a good day has 3 naps of 45 minutes. On a usual bad day has probably 2 naps. I am still bf. We introduced a formula bottle to try to help. It didn’t. Bedtime is around 8.30pm. Wake around 8am

My partner is really trying to help. He gets up with little one in the morning which allows me some sleep then. I don’t know whether this has made it worse in a way as it’s as if our LO feeds at larger intervals then in the morning (c. 3 hr gap) than at night and perhaps he’s moved his feed times to accommodate?

DP and I are having disagreements about routine. He bought LO up this morning to wake me for a feed. This is when I wanted to put him down to a nap because he hadn’t had a morning nap yet (11am). But partner wanted to take him for a walk. Which angered me as everything I read says we need to get him to sleep in his own crib as it will help with self settling and the night. We had a disagreement about that. Maybe IABU I have no idea anymore.

Anyone please. What are your routines? Any tips? Any ideas.

I am open to the sleep training but I feel our LO needs consistency and day routine before we even attempt that.

I also feel I just need to switch to formula so I can get a full nights sleep and leave DP with LO for a couple of nights so I can reset and return to my normal self. That seems the nuclear option.

MIL says weaning will help and he’s just hungry. But then we added the formula bottle and he will still awake within an hour or two when I read they can’t even digest it in that time.

Thanks in advance if anyone can offer anything at all.

DH wanted me to stop BF every time I was in a bad grump with DS. He’s doing the same now I’m BF DT. Actually… he does seem to be learning and isn’t suggesting it quite so much anymore. There’s a massive emotional component to stopping BF. Just stopping isn’t the answer. Suddenly deciding to FF doesn’t mean they’ll magically start taking bottles. I’ve said endlessly that if he wants to work on that so he can feed them more and give me a break then I’ll happily sit and pump.

Could you be coming on your period? Mine came back after 3 months with DS despite EBF and I was fucking horrendous. I was one tantrum away from murdering everyone in a five mile radius!

Step 1: get as much rest as you can this week to try and get back to a good place.
Step 2: try and work on a routine if you want to.

Sounds similar! Maybe it is my period.

We did have this issue before and I thought DP had ‘learnt’ but here we are again.

He will take a bottle and if I did think it would solve all our issues I think I would switch despite missing the emotional connection.

Sometimes I too think that’s what we should do but it’s a gamble really. You can’t just easily switch back if that makes no difference.

Now PP said about the reverse cycling I think that’s part of the issue. I am going to try to work with that first and see if that makes a difference.

Mines 5 months and sleep has been hell on earth the last 8 weeks or so. (Waking every 20 mins or so 😫)

He naps 3 times a day - every 2 hours after he wakes.
Zero routine other than that, sometimes he sleeps in the pram, sometimes the car seat, mostly on in my arms, ive never popped him in his crib - nor do I really want too! I still BF on demand..
Mine will take a bottle, but honestly, it made no difference even when I did give it him 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have started weaning mine, also made no difference! He just wants to be held 😆

So I'm a ftm to a 6month old so by no means have answers or tons of experience but have so been there! I wanted to punch a wall earlier today, it's crazy how frustrating it is when they are so so tired but can't sleep. Deep breaths!!

At 5 months I decided DS had to go in his own room; the next-to-me we were using was borrowed (which was great), but the minute DS started rolling it was hell, it was too small plus it started creaking! It would wake both of us up, on top of the fact he was was waking to feed every two hours. My nct group were sending messages about how the 4 month regression was a killer and baby had been waking every 3 hours in the night for the past few nights...and I was gobsmacked...y'all haven't had this every night since day 1?!? My DH also was pushing the formula feed but I'm glad I resisted (am exclusively bf).
Anyway, all I can say it...it shall pass! I promise! We have a fairly good routine most days now (although it still often goes out the window) and by no means is all of his naps in the cot but sleep for both of us has got better; partly because he sleeps better in his cot in his room (I think we were disturbing him as much as anything) and partly because they start to be a bit more predictable with their sleep as they develop.
If helpful, our routine is:
07:30 - he usually wakes up and I feed him on the sofa. If he wakes up pre 06:30 I try and feed a bit and put back to bed. Sometimes it works!
09:30 nap. I try to make sure this nap is in his cot...Up until recently my one needed a nap within 90 mins of being awake but it's stretching to 2 hours now
10:45 wake up (yes...he sleeps for 1.5 or more hours!! I never thought it would happen...and sometimes it still doesn't lol)
13:00ish nap - sometimes in cot sometimes on me / in pram out and about
13:30ish wake
15:45ish nap
16:15 wake
18:30/18:45 bath
Then we get him in his onsie, I feed him and then sometimes read a book. I then pop him in his sleeping bag and we go around the room saying goodnight to his sheep, saying goodnight to outside and closing the curtains and then turning on his lullaby sounds. I then sing twinkle twinkle and pop him down.

Have to confess we did a bit of sleep training as well to get away from the feeding to sleep as I was finding myself locked in a dark room for at least an hour a night trying to get him to sleep. We did a softer approach than some, going in regularly and picking him up for a cuddle then singing twinkle twinkle and putting him down again. Took a couple of weeks but he goes down a dream at night now.

Lastly, don't beat yourself (or your husband) up. You're both doing great. If your partner is anything like mine he is partly in problem solving mode. I suggest drawing up a draft schedule for a day (which doesn't have to be rigid) but loosely based on a 5 months wake windows. If he wants to take baby for a walk during nap time, have him wear baby (do you have a sling or carrier? Mine did most of his naps in there for a long time). Maybe that could be built into the schedule when DH has a work break which means you get a nap?

Sending good vibes xx

I have had 2 kids like this. I say this in the kindest possible way - stop stressing about it. Catch up on sleep when you can. Don't push yourself with housework, cooking etc until sleep is better. Take it easy. With my first I was tearing my hair out wondering when she would sleep. It took a while, probably she slept through at 18 months or so for the first time. I was Googling sleep training etc all the time. This is just how some babies are. With my second it was exactly the same but because I knew things would get better, I was less stressed.

I do think sleep training works, but not on a 5 month old. Don't stress yourself with routines and rules at this stage. To be honest the best thing you can probably do is make sure she gets a nice long walk with fresh air and lots of stimulation (mine always slept the best after baby sensory classes). Try to remember that she will sleep one day and take each day as it comes. There is unfortunately no magic solution to this. But every month will likely be better than the last.

@ReeseWitherfork

You were right!

Came on this morning 😭

Feeling a lot better though.

Also @MatronicO6 I think you are right about the reverse cycling. I spent all afternoon with LO hugging and nursing more than he needed. Fell asleep an hour and a half earlier than usual c. 7. Slept a bit better at night.

Up at 7. And has actually had his morning nap today.

I think we can do this! If we can keep this up it might become a routine of sorts.