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Anonymous1992 · 09/10/2022 11:02

So as we all know, parents have a million and 1 things to do. I am a mum to an 11 year old. Her father hasn't been in her life since she was about 3. So the majority of the time it's just been me and her, and a few failed relationships.
I have been with my partner for 2.5 years. In the beginning it was perfect. I really thought he was the one. I though I'm going to marry him one day!
Then this past 6 months or so, I feel he's been slacking with help and support......
There is always so much to do! Housework, bills, shopping, homework, buying presents, appointments, ironing, meal planning etc. Etc. Etc.
I feel my partner cleans the kitchen, empties the bins, sweeps up and has picked up the iron twice! And occasionally cooks dinner.
I feel like I literally do EVERYTHING else. Not once has he helped my daughter with her homework. His response 'well I tried to help her during lockdown and look how that turned out!' WW3.
I have asked him for help with other stuff, Time and time again. And it feels like he hasn't been anymore supportive. It's gotten to the point, I resent him for it and he knows it. I am overwhelmed and exhausted I have no time for him anymore. Because of this we have lost our connection and it just feels like we are 2 people living in the same house. (Doesn't feel like we love each other)

He is now staying at his parents and not sure if this can be fixed. Am I being unreasonable asking for more support? Or becoming distant because I am not recieveing it?

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Am I being unreasonable?


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AnwenDolly · 09/10/2022 11:49

I suspect that neither of you is a bad person or particularly unreasonable. Now that the gloss of early romance has worn off, you are both starting to realise that you are not compatible. Neither of you is necessarily at fault, it's just one of those things.

You are obviously irritated by his disinclination to be more helpful round the house and he is insufficiently bothered by your irritation to do anything about it. If he was, he would have changed his behaviour.

If you are not prepared to accept him as he is and he would rather end the relationship than change, your relationship is in terminal decline.

Unfortunately, the satisfaction of being told you are not being unreasonable is not going to save your relationship.

You both seem to have come to realise this at the same time which is a good thing, because it hopefully means you can part amicably.

Good luck. ❤️

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