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AIBU?

Relationships

3 replies

Anonymous1992 · 09/10/2022 11:02

So as we all know, parents have a million and 1 things to do. I am a mum to an 11 year old. Her father hasn't been in her life since she was about 3. So the majority of the time it's just been me and her, and a few failed relationships.
I have been with my partner for 2.5 years. In the beginning it was perfect. I really thought he was the one. I though I'm going to marry him one day!
Then this past 6 months or so, I feel he's been slacking with help and support......
There is always so much to do! Housework, bills, shopping, homework, buying presents, appointments, ironing, meal planning etc. Etc. Etc.
I feel my partner cleans the kitchen, empties the bins, sweeps up and has picked up the iron twice! And occasionally cooks dinner.
I feel like I literally do EVERYTHING else. Not once has he helped my daughter with her homework. His response 'well I tried to help her during lockdown and look how that turned out!' WW3.
I have asked him for help with other stuff, Time and time again. And it feels like he hasn't been anymore supportive. It's gotten to the point, I resent him for it and he knows it. I am overwhelmed and exhausted I have no time for him anymore. Because of this we have lost our connection and it just feels like we are 2 people living in the same house. (Doesn't feel like we love each other)

He is now staying at his parents and not sure if this can be fixed. Am I being unreasonable asking for more support? Or becoming distant because I am not recieveing it?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

4 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
25%
You are NOT being unreasonable
75%
AnwenDolly · 09/10/2022 11:49

I suspect that neither of you is a bad person or particularly unreasonable. Now that the gloss of early romance has worn off, you are both starting to realise that you are not compatible. Neither of you is necessarily at fault, it's just one of those things.

You are obviously irritated by his disinclination to be more helpful round the house and he is insufficiently bothered by your irritation to do anything about it. If he was, he would have changed his behaviour.

If you are not prepared to accept him as he is and he would rather end the relationship than change, your relationship is in terminal decline.

Unfortunately, the satisfaction of being told you are not being unreasonable is not going to save your relationship.

You both seem to have come to realise this at the same time which is a good thing, because it hopefully means you can part amicably.

Good luck. ❤️

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VeePee19 · 28/03/2023 13:29

Hi I didn’t know where to post this. My daughter split with her partner about 3 months ago. They have a son who is 3 today. Ex’s mother isn’t showing up today for 3rd birthday, some lame excuse, but she was invited, she’s kept all his gifts at hers, but we found out she has sneakily organised a family (her family only) birthday party for him Friday knowing his mum is at work. The ex and my daughter have stayed friends and take grandson for teas etc together. So there’s no reason to exclude her, they still do things together . My daughter is very upset, is there anything she can do? She has been really reasonable about access etc.

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Screwcorona · 28/03/2023 13:33

There's not much to do, now that they are not together there will be family events that one of them will miss out on.
Please help her to be happy for her son that he will get two birthday parties, and both sets of family who love and spend time with him.

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