To not be happy with DH for dropping our baby

[Sharkmummy]

DH dropped our baby yesterday morning. I took her straight to A&E, DH insisted DD will be fine. Aibu to not be happy with him for dropping a baby? I have never seen anyone drop a baby before, he’s the only person I’ve ever known who has managed to drop a baby
he was holding DD and dropped her accidentally on the carpet

That must have given you both quite the fright. I wouldn't be to hard in him, he's probably doing that for himself. I dropped one if mine when he was about a week old. Carrying him in the Moses basket & let go of one of the handles. He tumbled out & landed face down on the floor😱. You'd prob be surprised at how many people have a dropped baby story.

I hope DD was given the all clear at A&E. Tinies can wriggle and could fall as a result, but you might need to insist DH only holds DD when he is seated or on the bed so that there is nowhere for her to fall. Of course YANBU to be unhappy that DD was dropped.

Many people have dropped their babies. Not sure how old your child is but sometimes little ones throw their weight unexpectedly and get dropped.

Was he doing something dangerous? Assuming he loves the baby and wouldn’t want to hurt her, and it was just an accident then holding onto anger towards him isn’t fair.

he is far from the only person to have a baby end up on the floor.

Do not do this.

What happened when you got to A&E?

He wasn’t holding DD properly though and I told him multiple times to hold her properly and then I went to put stuff down so I take her off him and hold her myself, while I was putting the stuff on the table he dropped her

How was he not holding her properly? Is he careless with her and/or in general?

It’s hard to imagine that a baby falling into carpet was harmed, and given huge strange omission of that fact from your post, is it fair to assume that yours is completely fine?

Yes, it’s better if babies aren’t dropped, but mistakes happen. Your husband is likely feeling terrible about this, and will make very sure that it never happens again, so you are being very unreasonable to hold it against him.

Honestly, at some point you will drop the baby or bang her head on something or have her fall off something when you're watching her. It happens.

I fell with my 6 month old in the street, had I not lifted my elbow mid fall to protect her head she probably would have been seriously injured or killed because her head would have taken the full brunt if the fall. I'm so eternally grateful that she was ok but accidents do happen.

I beat myself up for days over it, I rarely carry her when outside now except to get in and out of the car.

I can get why you're annoyed, I think if my DH had fell with DD I would have been angry, but probably fear and shock I think.

You WILL drop her, or bump her or somehow manage to do something stupid with her. It's part of learning to be a parent. Come back to us then and see if you still feel the same way about your husband

I dropped my DS while sitting on the sofa. He was on my lap and sort of threw is weight away from me and I was all fingers and thumbs and somehow missed catching him. He was fine but I felt terrible so not only do I think insisting he only holds your DC seated is unfair, it may not help anyway. People don't generally talk about when they drop the baby because they are embarrassed but so many people admitted it when I did too. And wait until they get older. Now my toddler has a scooter and a trampoline and goes charging around ay home and at nursery, he is covered in bumps.

I have heard so many parents say that when they were in charge of the baby he rolled off the bed/ changing mat etc. Babies can suddenly do something they never did before and catch you unawares. If that happens to you you will need mercy from dp so be merciful to him now.
I would like to think he was upset though and not blasé about baby will be fine as if its no big deal.

My friends DH dropped their eldest (now in her 30’s) when she was tiny and she fractured her skull. He clearly felt awful about it. They went on to have 4 kids and he was (is) a brilliant hands on dad. Accidents happen

YANBU OP, I’ve never known anyone to drop a baby either

OP absolutely should do this. She needs to put the baby’s safety first

How old is she? How was she being held?

Is he sorry?

Maybe not all but many, many, many people have dropped their baby or caused some kind of accidental injury and then felt terrible. It’s understandable you’re upset but if the baby is fine, and your DH is clearly feeling bad, it’s highly likely he’s already chastised himself and will be more careful in future. Infantilising him by insisting he sits when holding your baby is a terrible idea. He’s an adult who is more than capable of learning from this mistake.

I was carrying week old DD1 in a sling whilst walking through the woods with toddler DS. I was lightly jogging/ shuffling chasing DS to make him laugh and tripped over a tree root - I fell straight forward and put my hands out to brace the impact so I wouldn’t crush DD1 when I landed and fractured my wrist. Additionally, when I landed, DD’s head went down to the ground and then back into my face and my tooth caused a slight dent in her forehead. I was horrified I’d done something so stupid - I was supposedly an experienced parent. I didn’t care about my wrist, I was horrified about the dent in my baby’s forehead and was convinced she had whiplash. Thankfully she checked out all fine. My husband, god love him, didn’t chastise me at all - just comforted me when I was distraught at being so stupid and causing the whole situation and once we were sure DD1 was fine, put a lot of effort into reassuring me I wasn’t a terrible mother.

Accidents happen. YOU will cause some kind of incident, there’s no doubt about that. We’re human and we all misjudge things and make silly mistakes. Honestly, in a loving and supportive relationship, I would expect you to feel annoyed inside but also go some way to reassuring your husband he’s not a bad parent.

It was an accident and I'm sure he feels awful about it. I would be secretly angry nonetheless.