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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being paranoid?

26 replies

BuyYourOwn · 08/10/2022 21:48

I will try to keep this short.
Neighbour, when we moved in, knocked on my door and asked if I understood about one of the keys for the communal areas. I assumed he represented the company that takes care of the building but I don't think that is the case, then soon after that I saw him sat close to the school, alone, watching us, on the way home from school with DS. Recently he leaves the building 30 mins before DS finishes school (DS doesn't finish at the same time every day and walks home alone) neighbour came back 10 mins before DS arrived and then left his apartment again so he could pass DS on the stairs. Next day, I decided to collect DS, I saw neighbour leave at least 10 mins before me so when I left the building, I was surprised to see him waiting just across the street, he then proceeded to start following me. He is smaller than me so I could thump him but am I being paranoid? There have been other odd incidents.

OP posts:
yerdaindicatesonbends · 08/10/2022 22:01

When you say he asked if you understood the keys what do you mean sorry? It does all sound a bit odd, possibly more than odd and I would carry on collecting DS for now if it were me. I know you wanted to keep it short but what are the other incidents? It may help confirm that you’re not being paranoid and that could be helpful.

Hotandbothereds · 08/10/2022 22:04

What do the keys for the communal space have to do with him coming and going at the same time as you?

Dacadactyl · 08/10/2022 22:08

If your DS doesnt leave school at the same time each day, could it not be coincidemce that the neighbour is going out at similar times? I meam,if DS has no pattern, how can neighbour be following you guys?

HOWEVER, if i was getting creepy vibes off neighbour, i woukd be collecting child for the foreseeable.

Original poster
BuyYourOwn · 08/10/2022 22:10

When we moved in he knocked on the door and asked if I was the owner or renting (none of his business really but he did the same to someone else who had just moved in) then began explaining that a particular key for the entrance to the garden couldn't be replicated at a general key cutting shop.
I saw him more than once in his car when I was walking with DS on the way to a regular extra curriculum lesson.

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 08/10/2022 22:12

I thibk its fair enough for him to inform you about the key not being able to be cut at a normal place.

Original poster
BuyYourOwn · 08/10/2022 22:13

Sorry I meant that, for example, DS finishes at 4 on a Monday then 5 on a Tuesday, so he does have a pattern.

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 08/10/2022 22:13

I don’t think explaining to you about keys is particularly suspicious and if DS leaves at different times how is the neighbour leaving before hand?

NewBootsAndRanty · 08/10/2022 22:14

What were the other "odd incidents"?

yerdaindicatesonbends · 08/10/2022 22:17

Was he asking if you had a copy of the key or was he just informing you of that? And did the way he said it seem odd? Was it a ‘thought you might like to know’? Or did it seem stranger than that?

I’m a big believer in trusting your instincts OP, especially when it comes to your kids, so I would keep an eye on the situation, which I’m sure you’re doing, but possibly start recording dates and times as well. It may help confirm there is no rhyme or reason to these happenings as well.

RenegadeMasterx · 08/10/2022 22:18

I'd maybe say 'oh how funny, we keep bumping into one another/seeing eachother!' So he's aware you've made an observation. However, never ever be too careful where kids are concerned keep close tabs on it.

Original poster
BuyYourOwn · 08/10/2022 22:18

I need to clarify again that DS has a regular timetable and always finishes at 4 on a Monday and 5 on a Tuesday etc

OP posts:
coffeeandpoetry · 08/10/2022 22:18

I don't understand the significance of the communal key thing, but I get what you mean about him appearing to be following your routine especially as you've seen him watching you.

I know it might sound like a coincidence to people on here but you have more knowledge on this than we do OP and if you have a gut feeling about something I'd say trust it!

tinx · 08/10/2022 22:19

If you have a gut feeling he is a weirdo go with it and keep collecting your son

we get these feelings for a reason

Original poster
BuyYourOwn · 08/10/2022 22:28

I have started keeping a record of where and when I've seen said neighbour and I will continue to collect DS as I do think there is something off.

OP posts:
NewBootsAndRanty · 08/10/2022 22:31

What were the other "odd incidents"?

Hotandbothereds · 08/10/2022 22:31

What are the other odd incidents?

The key conversation sounds just like he was passing on useful information & making general conversation.

Original poster
BuyYourOwn · 08/10/2022 22:42

I would have dismissed the business about the key if he hadn't started following us about but with hindsight, I think he was just checking us out.
I've seen him in other places where we have a regular routine. When I've had deliveries, he has appeared on the stairs and just stood there trying to see into the apartment.

OP posts:
HunterTheDanceInstructor · 08/10/2022 22:43

When we moved in he knocked on the door and asked if I was the owner or renting (none of his business really but he did the same to someone else who had just moved in) then began explaining that a particular key for the entrance to the garden couldn't be replicated at a general key cutting shop.

I own an apartment that has a special security key for the front door of the development. Only owners have access to the master key from which replacements can be cut, so his question makes sense. If you owned, you’d have been able to tell him about the master key. If you rent, you wouldn’t have access.

StClare101 · 08/10/2022 22:47

The key thing is irrelevant. He sounds nosy but harmless for that example.

Dunno I wouldn’t be surprised at seeing a neighbour on nearby streets a lot. He clearly has his own routine, probably in place long before you arrived.

StoneofDestiny · 08/10/2022 22:49

I'm assuming this guy doesn't work if he is able to stand around in the street at those hours of the day?

Hotandbothereds · 08/10/2022 22:50

He’s no more following you about than you’re following him about.

Are there actually any other incidents? Because you mentioned it in your OP but haven’t explained what they were?

Original poster
BuyYourOwn · 08/10/2022 22:50

No he doesn't go to work.

OP posts:
Hotandbothereds · 08/10/2022 22:52

BuyYourOwn · 08/10/2022 22:42

I would have dismissed the business about the key if he hadn't started following us about but with hindsight, I think he was just checking us out.
I've seen him in other places where we have a regular routine. When I've had deliveries, he has appeared on the stairs and just stood there trying to see into the apartment.

Can you explain why you think him telling you factual information about the key is odd?

I can’t understand what you think he’s done wrong by passing on that information so is there more to it?

Hotandbothereds · 08/10/2022 22:53

BuyYourOwn · 08/10/2022 22:50

No he doesn't go to work.

And you know this how? I don’t know my neighbours working patterns/times.

Did he tell you this? Is he retired?

ReedRite · 08/10/2022 22:54

Have you tried calling him out on it?

Like ‘oh hello again Dave, strange how we keep bumping into you.’ ‘Oh, there you are again Dave, how come we keep seeing you every day?’.

I’d want to see how he reacted to that. To see if he kept on with it even after he knew you’d clocked it.

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