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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report this man to SS

10 replies

speciav · 08/10/2022 21:20

I'm looking for advice really, as DH has told me to not get involved.

DS(16) came back home with his friend (15) and they were both drunk, DS has now sobered up a bit and has told me they went to friends dads and he seemed angry about something, he then gave a bottle of vodka to his friend and told him to take DS to his room and stay out of his way.

Should I report him to SS? Apparently, friends mum is in hospital so he's staying with his dad, I don't really feel comfortable sending him back now though.

OP posts:
RedWingBoots · 08/10/2022 21:23

How long is friend's mum in hospital for?

fdkc · 08/10/2022 21:24

Stay out of it. Although not ideal to give his son a bottle of vodka, we do not know any further circumstances or what pressure the man might be under. I would for tonight though offer for your son's friend to stay over in your house. Contact his dad and ask if that's ok. If something else of concern pops up over the coming weeks or months then maybe your could consider contacting SS.

x2boys · 08/10/2022 21:30

What could social services do ,i have a nearly 16 year old son so I understand your concerns ,but I'm not sure what they could actually do.

Original poster
speciav · 08/10/2022 21:45

I'm not sure how long his mums in hospital for, I don't know his dad. From the things DS has told me, I don't think the dads a very nice person, DS told me a few months ago that he was on face time to his friend and his called him so the friend went and went back on the call and he seemed to have been crying and when DS asked what was wrong he said nothing and told DS he had to go. He had a black eye recently and DS asked what happened and he told DS his dad did it then corrected himself and said his dad hit him with something accidentally.

I'm not suggesting he's abusing him as I honestly don't know.

OP posts:
Coffeaddict · 08/10/2022 21:47

speciav · 08/10/2022 21:45

I'm not sure how long his mums in hospital for, I don't know his dad. From the things DS has told me, I don't think the dads a very nice person, DS told me a few months ago that he was on face time to his friend and his called him so the friend went and went back on the call and he seemed to have been crying and when DS asked what was wrong he said nothing and told DS he had to go. He had a black eye recently and DS asked what happened and he told DS his dad did it then corrected himself and said his dad hit him with something accidentally.

I'm not suggesting he's abusing him as I honestly don't know.

This sounds like abuse so yes I would contact ss

StoneofDestiny · 08/10/2022 21:51

I'd certainly tell your sons friend how worried you are and that you want to help. See how he responds to that. Let him know what options are open to him in getting support.

parsniiips · 08/10/2022 21:53

We are talking about a 15 year old here, not almost 18.

And not 1 beer with the family at lunch.

A bottle of vodka.

And it's not a teenager sneaking it. The parent is shooing them away and telling them to drink something that can be dangerous in high amounts especially to an inexperienced and young person.

That's shit parenting at best. The worst doesn't bear thinking about.

I'd report it.

If it's a one off then nothing will come of it and it might make the father make better choices. If there is more going on then support will be provided.

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 21:56

I think that SS won't get involved due to pressure of cases a d this will be a lesser priority.

I'd be saying to the poor boy, that he has a safe place available if he needs it and he's welcome in your home.

So sad.

SheilaSazs · 08/10/2022 22:12

Safeguarding can be like a jigsaw where different people have different pieces.

I would phone it in, you just don't know what else is happening and it could be useful to them. Alternatively it could be logged with no action but either way you've done what you can.

5zeds · 08/10/2022 22:16

Offer him a bed for the night. Give them a large hangover cure breakfast tomorrow and tell him you’re worried about him.

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