My dd is autistic and shes not coping well in yr1, mainstream school,
ive decided that she might do better in a special school or a smaller class size because she is behind her classmates
Im also tired of sending her to a school where shes not being catered for and the teachers seem "exasperated" by her behaviours
The problem is, that her dad doesnt want her in a special school because his friend told him that they arent good and he thinks that she wont learn anything there,
i explained that this isnt the case and that shes not coping in mainstream anyway, so we need to try something different..
He threatened to stop seeing dd if i move her to a different school and i will feel his "wrath" ( his exact words)
I dont want to make a decision without him but hes not co operative
Hes not even offering a compromise hes just saying no, without any real good reason
I said she can go to a smaller class within her school or find a special school that maybe 100% better but no he disagrees
This is not something i just thought of, ive been contemplating moving her out of mainstream for a year now, i just wanted to see if she would settle
But its not getting any better and times running out
Aslong as she does the same curriculum as mainstream school, i dont see any negatives ..
He then started to blame me saying im not doing enough with her at home to help her writing and that shes not doing good in school because of me ( yes its always my fault of course everything is my fault)
I said i will put more time into helping her writing and how to hold a pen but its not going to change her situation at school,
it is her autism that is creating alot of difficulty with fitting in to a classroom
She cant sit still, or listen, shes not learning, kids dont want to be her friend
I dont want her to be treated like this when theres other options
Her dad thinks that autism can be "cured" and its not permanent
He hasnt attempted to learn about autism
He found a course about autism and sent me the link (why?) and told me to sign him up?? and i said no, he should do it himself but he didnt ..
Another thing he does that makes this difficult is he keeps blaming me for all dds difficult behaviour but At the same time taking credit for all her strengths??
He said i spend most time with her so all her difficulties are my own fault but anything good she does is because hes an amazing father , when hes not even around for the day to day ..
My dd can read very fluently at a young age, she had a natural ability to read just like i did at her age,
so i dont take all credit but i did read to her alot over the years
Because she couldnt talk, reading was one of the only things i could bond with her over,
But yesterday he claimed it was him who taught her to read ??
I just had to laugh it off
But it hurts that he blames me for everything negative and tries to take credit for things that are going well
He doesnt really do anything for her
He keeps offering to come and do homework with her in my house but i dont want him in my house really, i dont like him around me
Aibu to go ahead and make a decision with the special school?
Even if its mean he will stop seeing dd (he will)
She really loves him, i think it will damage her if he just stops seeing her and i know it will be his fault but he will turn it around on me and say "she wouldnt let me be involved"
This is really depressing