To not invite the whole class to my dd5 birthday's party

[Tiredmum21]

Only have the one dd5 so trying to navigate the minefield that is birthday parties - dd5 has just started reception. Some background:

• we moved house so dd5 is new to the school & didn't go to the school nursery - appears most kids in her class did so all know each other (as do most of the parents)
• dd5 has been invited to two birthday parties where, from what i can gather, invites went out to the whole class
• I went to one of the parties with dd (the other one is next week) and only 3-4 kids from the class where there
• i thought I'd get ahead and booked a session at a party place back in Aug - it's £20 per child so trying not to have more than 20 kids there is if I can help it.. we already have 5 children from family friends on the list
• overheard a mum who's child is in dd5's class saying she was only inviting the kids her son knew to his birthday party as he didn't know 'all these other kids who weren't at the nursery'

Am i going to get shunned in the playground if I only invite the children my dd5 plays with?

They're all so little and it's so early in the term I can't imagine they'd get too upset if some weren't invited?!

I guess the alternative is to invite everyone and hope not everyone RSVPs?!

What do I do?!?

Just invite the kids your child knows and likes.

If you were having a birthday party, would you invite everyone at your workplace even if you didn't know them/didn't like them that much?

I think I’d invite either half the class or less, or 5-6 kids that you think your DD is friends with (does she talk about particular kids?).

That plus five family/friends is plenty imo.

My DD1started a new school after moving towns, 3 months later she had her birthday we invited all the girls in the class, there were only 7 in total and had an old fashioned party with games around the house. She really enjoyed it.

As long as it’s not just leaving out a couple of children or 1 child I think it’s fine Don’t know why the whole class needs to be invited if kids aren’t friends with those kids

Honestly just invite who she plays with, whole class parties should be reserved for the community centre or church hall, if you are doing a "thing" just invite their friends.

Either whole class or less than half the class at that age.

As long as you don't leave out a few it's fine.

Thanks for all the responses - feel much better now about just inviting the children dd plays with.

It’s reception, it’s early on, invite everyone.

Less than 10 kids at that age.

I regret not inviting the whole class to a church hall party in reception, it was before Christmas so he barely know names, let alone who he played with. But in general I think if you’re inviting over half the class then invite them all.

You don't have space to invite everyone, invite who he plays with. Ime everyone comes if they're free,

£20 per head is very expensive. I rent out a hall to a lot of parties, it's £12.50 an hour, most people connect up music from phone/tablet to a speaker (free, we don't charge to use wifi either) get an entertainer or bouncy castle (£100 to £200 approx) and make a cheap buffet that mostly ends up in the bin it seems. Not free by any means but as we allow up to 70 people in the hall and have a kitchen with hot water dispenser for adults, crockery etc it's pretty reasonable for the whole class

Of course YANBU.
Perfectly normal to invite friends only to any party.
Ask her who she would like to invite, and invite those people.
By far the best way.