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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Useless husband or am I being mean?

35 replies

confusedMumm443 · 08/10/2022 13:49

I have a bad case of food poisoning. It is slightly better today but still running to the loo at least every 30 minutes. DH texted me last night at 9:00 saying he’s 30 minutes from home, I texted back saying great as I’m feeling really rough and would like him to pick up more painkillers from Tesco. Waited till 10pm no reply from calls and messages. Tried again at 11. Fell asleep and as I was waking up constantly to go to the loo I know he came home at exactly 2:04am.

today he’s been moody when I asked where he was. He’s been trying to fight with me constantly. I have zero energy so have ignored. I asked him if I could have 20 mins to myself just to sip some tea and he could keep eldest busy with her maths homework and younger one is okay anyway as he’s calmer and plays nicely on his own. All hell broke loose as he’s shouting at eldest as she doesn’t understand how he’s teaching her the English homework! He knows fully well she struggles with English and loves maths and actually begs us to give her more maths work. He replied back with “I thought English would be easier as it looks easier!” It’s seriously like he’s a stranger in this home. He’s got a degree in maths btw and works in a maths related field and he didn’t need to do anything just sit with her. Nothing remotely hard.

ive really had enough of him. I’m typing this whilst sitting next to her which is all he needed to do whilst I sat in bed with Netflix on and sip my tea. I asked him for 20 mins. I’ve had enough

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 08/10/2022 22:52

Well he’s obviously having an affair.

Afterfire · 08/10/2022 22:54

So he’s probably out shagging someone, maybe even a prostitute given how randomly he does this, or gambling, and is verbally abusive to you and the children. What a catch. Come on op, don’t waste more of your life like this.

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 08/10/2022 22:56

Useless, horrible and up to no good. Can you manage without him financially?

Merryoldgoat · 08/10/2022 22:57

Why are you putting up with this?

LimeTwists · 08/10/2022 22:59

If he’s 30 minutes from home and then takes an unexpected five hours longer, all through the night into the early hours, that’s not merely losing track of time. Then he’s grumpy when asked where he was? What’s he hiding, would be my question.

ManyMaybes · 08/10/2022 23:00

There’s really no reason for anybody to shout at anybody at home, or frankly anywhere. It’s a bit uncivilised.

I’d be very interested in where he was til 2.40am.

TheHouseElf · 08/10/2022 23:06

Couldn't put up with this, and you shouldn't be either.

He's shouting at your eldest to get you up to do the homework with her, rather than him actually engaging with his own children and their education.

He couldn't care less how ill you are, that you need rest and care. Listen to what he is saying, actually hear it and take some action for yourself and your children.

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/10/2022 23:13

Why are you putting up with this? Seriously. Get rid - you will be happier!

TheCatterall · 08/10/2022 23:32

Think how better you’d feel @confusedMumm443 without the stress he brings to your home. How much happier the kids would be. How much happier a mum you would be. The stress and a jetty he brings to your household isn’t healthy for you or the children. Please get support and prepare an exit plan.

Brigante9 · 08/10/2022 23:34

You should have gone to bed and stayed upstairs, leave him to deal with the dc.

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