To hate weekends?

[FlimFlamFlim]

I hate them. I am a single parent, dad not around. No family about. DC won’t go to nursery (tried that, huge failure, left) and wants to be by my side 24/7 no matter what I do (I had to clean the kitchen worktops down today holding their hand). Have Some friends with children and some without, and do various baby and toddler groups during the week.

Then the weekend comes and everyone is off with their families, days out, days in the house or garden together, hobbies or walks or nice meals it’s all family or couples time. And I’m all alone with DC. It’s just another day to us, another day where I have to entertain DC for 12 hours, another day where I barely have any adult conversation l. Then DC goes to sleep and I have to tidy and clean and do washing before DC wakes up a billion times over night. I can’t take DC to soft plays or farms etc because we have no money.

Mumsnet loves to tell people to leave their partners at the drop of the hat but being a single parent sucks. I’m so jealous of friends who get breaks, get to have their hair cut or do their hobbies or have a shower or just get two minutes peace. People who have someone else around the house, who have someone to share chores and DIY. Have someone to think things through with and chat to and not have to deal with the mental and physical load of everything. I’m lonely. I have tried parenting apps and groups and no one wants an awkward parent to hang out with. I even tried that home start thing but they responded and said they’d be in touch but they never did.
I hate weekends because it brings it all home just how rubbish this is.

I’m not sadly, I’m just outside of Scotland. I’m sorry you’re lonely too. X

I really feel for you. I think you should try another nursery. Most kids cry the first few times but you must persist You will be a better mum for having a break. The hand holding while you are cleaning is control and you need to be firm with this. Say no and turn your back don't give in this is not ok behaviour. I think nursery will also help this aswelll. Being together 24/7 is not healthy for your child.

My second DD was incredibly clingy but as I wasn't prepared to give up work she just had to get used to nursery. She was 9 months when she started which I think was better for both of us. She used to make a huge fuss of going and would hate me to leave her with DH or my parents as well. She wanted to be in touching distance of me at all times. I felt awful at the time but she grew to love nursery and seems to be a happy, independent, well balanced 12 year old now. She still has fond memories of her days at nursery. If you had to leave your DC you would make it work and you would both be fine. Is sounds like you are in danger of burning out from not having a break from being everything to your DC. Well done for being such a fantastic parent, no way could I have coped without a break from my cling on child.

I would try a different nursery where they let you stay the first time so he doesn’t associate it with you leaving him. Like a stay and play session.

I’m guessing you don’t have family around either? Just trying to think of some ways he can be left for short amounts of time with a familiar face so he gets used to not being with you all the time. Sounds so tricky.

Single parent and 'lone parent' here, and what people mean is that it can be very hard coparenting with someone whose parenting style you don't agree with/who sets out to make your life miserable by messing you around, not showing up, not returning clothes, long angry diatribes, constant arguments and threats etc etc. Usually they're your ex for a reason!

Having an ex like that in your life is harder than just doing it yourself in my experience. Although neither are easy!

Yeh I get that but that’s not the only alternative, people shouldn’t be saying anyone is lucky that the other parent doesn’t bother with their kids that’s not luck, as these same people slag off deadbeat dads who don’t see their kids but then tell someone they are lucky their kids dad doesn’t bother, I don’t feel very lucky having kids with someone who doesn’t want to see them.

I guess what I’m trying to say is neither is lucky an absent father isn’t lucky neither is an abusive one but that’s not the only alternative obviously everyone wishes their ex would be a decent parent and step up and one that decides to walk away and not bother with their kid’s isn’t a good thing and should be seen as such.

Same, I adore my dd10 but as a single mum I would love a weekend to myself occasionally or an evening in the week. My mum died last week and I have a lot going on, I don't have anyone to look after her and I would love some space.

It doesn’t acknowledge how difficult it is raising a child/children alone is.

Have you considered a good childminder? It will be a more homely environment and less children.

Let me tell you a secret not every family is doing things together. Some may go to the cinema for a few hours but go home and kids off playing and parent(s) eating Only Fool is TV.
my teen is in their room gaming and I’m eating Gogglebox. We done nothing together but they because my teen in their own words ‘can’t be arsed to get out of bed’

Watching only fools not eating