No present on my birthday from dh

[whatisforteamum]

I know this is a first world problem and I can buy my own stuff.
Yesterday was my b day so I took annual leave to do something.
Dh has a habit of giving cards and presents in the evening which I find odd as the day is almost over.
Anyway I get a card half an hour after he gets in and wait as he normally gives flowers or chocs after a bit.
Nothing,he went in the supermarket to get food.
I was so disappointed I went out to buy chocs.
We have never had so much income and I normally resort to cash for his hobby as he is hard to buy for.
Anyone in long term relationship
S get this or am I right to be fed up.

He doesn’t want to make you feel special or cared about by him. Does that matter to you?

That’s so disappointing. Could he not buy you a box of chocolates or a little plant or some flowers?

I'm sorry, that is really sad. Was he at least kind to you, giving you more affection or compliments? Did he take any drudgery off your hands.

I definitely know how you feel my partner use to never remember to buy me things for Xmas my bday etc and I would always go all out for him his excuses use to be he didn't have enough and just settle for a bday card and flowers which just wasn't enough for me especially after carrying his child
Safe to say we are no longer a couple lol but hopefully your situation is different

It's hurts especially when it's someone you love

Maybe try to talk to him

We have never had so much income and I normally resort to cash for his hobby as he is hard to buy for.

It doesn't sound like you are putting in huge amounts of thought and care into his gift.

Have you actually gone up to him and said "Oi...where's my pressy then?"
If you don't say anything he might think you don't care you didn't get a present.

I have to say I think cash is a very odd thing to give your husband. It's zero effort. Perhaps that's why he thinks you don't care about presents?

If you share lots of income and you give him cash, that hardly seems thoughtful either.

Everyone has different love languages. Does he show you that he cares in other ways? DH and I gave up on presents long ago. He wasn’t brought up to make a fuss on birthdays and he doesn’t really get it. He does lots of thoughtful things every day for me that shows he cares, so I’m not bothered about having a fuss made on my birthday.

Has he given you birthday presents in the past and this is new bahaviour?

@whatisforteamum that is bad on him.

It really hurts doesn’t it. I had years of it. In the end I dreaded my bday because I knew I would feel disappointed and unappreciated.

A few years ago I went mad. Told him how it made me feel, basically how inconsiderate he was etc.

He actually stresses out every year now worrying what to buy me 😁.

I really don’t care what I get, it really is the thought that counts to make you feel special.

Tell him, shame him. He is in the wrong here. Don’t say anything and you can look forward to this feeling for your next bday….

It’s really shit that he didn’t bother
Is he usually this thoughtless?

For his next birthday, buy yourself a box of chocs.