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AIBU?

To not want to be mocked?

18 replies

paulhollywoodshairgel · 07/10/2022 23:44

I am so terrified that the Ukraine war is going to escalate to WW3. I am losing sleep over it. My anxiety is through the roof. I've always been terrified of nuclear war since I was a child.

My issue is. I tried to talk to my husband about it. I was just saying how terrified I am and what would we do if it happens and all that. He mocked me and talked to me like I was thick. Couldn't he just say... it must be hard to feel like that or try not to worry or something. Why does he have to mock me and make me feel stupid. I hope I am blowing it all out of proportion and my anxiety is making is making me over the top. He just treating like a hysterical toddler.

OP posts:
NotJustAnybody · 08/10/2022 00:04

Is he usually that unkind? To be honest, I don't think anyone knows what they would do if the worst happens. When I've tried to discuss it, some people flat out refuse to talk about it, some people laugh and say it doesn't matter as we won't know anything about it, too late etc.

Badgirlriri · 08/10/2022 00:07

You need to develop some anxiety techniques. It isn’t good for you worrying like that.

toogoodforthisworld · 08/10/2022 00:07

I can't offer any words of wisdom- I just want to let you know I feel we are all being conned and that Russia isn't the bad guy at all. If 'they' (whoever they may be) are not able to make money out of nuclear war then it most likely isn't going to happen...
throw your arms around yourself and give yourself a big hug. It's ok to be scared. It's all part of life. Love yourself and then distract yourself. It will help. Xxx

Aconitum · 08/10/2022 00:10

It's possible that's he's actually more terrified than you are....

FlissyPaps · 08/10/2022 00:23

The thought of nuclear war really is terrifying, I agree wholeheartedly OP. The news is very bleak at the moment.

You are not being unreasonable. You are not stupid. And you are not thick. You are a human with thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings on the world’s current affairs so that makes you the opposite of stupid and thick.

If I had a loved one who was genuinely losing sleep over this I would be concerned for them and want to help them and ease their anxieties.

My advice would be to, not discuss it with him unless he agrees not to belittle you. If anything comes on the telly regarding Russia change the channel. Do things to take your mind off your thoughts. Go out for a walk, read some books, watch a funny film. Organise a date night when he’s not being a twat. Maybe book an appointment with your GP if you continue to lose sleep and feel you need some support.

KrisAkabusi · 08/10/2022 00:38

I just want to let you know I feel we are all being conned and that Russia isn't the bad guy at all.

Jesus Christ. They've invaded another country, deported millions of civilians, have committed countless, verified war crimes, run illegal, fixed referendums and threatened the use of nuclear weapons. But you think they're not the bad guys. Fuck me!

Asparagoose · 08/10/2022 00:46

Is your husband usually unsupportive of your feelings? Does he usually fail to offer you any comfort or reassurance when you’re scared and upset? He sounds like a twat.

SnoozyLucy7 · 08/10/2022 04:31

To lessen your anxiety just stop watching and listening to the news. Take a news sabbatical and completely switch off. No one can predict the future but you can certainly take control of what you are reading and watching.

Worthyornot · 08/10/2022 04:34

You sound extreme and tbh he's probably sick of it.

lickenchugget · 08/10/2022 05:10

How many times have you raised this subject? I’d find it tiresome, tbh. Nothing is going to be changed by talking about it.

Maybe talk to your GP about anxiety

letsgetbackto2019 · 08/10/2022 05:42

I have recently upped my sertraline dose over it, my anxiety was unmanageable and the dr didn’t bat an eyelid.

I have 2 PhDs so can’t be totally thick.

Now my feelings are numbed and I carry on. YY to tell your GP you need help and your DH that either he makes some effort to empathise or he can sod off

rwalker · 08/10/2022 06:03

Worthyornot · 08/10/2022 04:34

You sound extreme and tbh he's probably sick of it.

This sorry there isn’t a polite way off putting it

paulhollywoodshairgel · 08/10/2022 06:24

Thanks for replies

I've literally mentioned it twice so I don't think he's really got grounds to be sick of me!

He can be a little bit emotionless. He's allowed to think I'm going over the top but he doesn't have to mock me and make me feel small is my point.

I'm going to delete all my news apps and take a break from it I think.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 08/10/2022 06:43

He shouldn’t be unkind to you about it though- is he usually not nice like this?

GingerPigz · 08/10/2022 06:57

Tell him that his reaction upset you - he probably doesn't realise.

It would be unfair if me to judge whether he was being unreasonable as I don't know what is going on in his life / your lives. In the surface it sounds cruel but... It might be that you usually worry about everything and it just so happens that this time is the straw that broke the camel's back? Or perhaps he has his own worries and his reaction to yours is a defence mechanism (ie: he doesn't want to worry about that as well). Whatever the reason, I think you need a non judgmental chat.

agapanthus1979 · 08/10/2022 07:03

@toogoodforthisworld
Russia is the bad guy.
HTH

daisychain01 · 08/10/2022 07:48

Unfortunately OP you have a husband problem. There can be nothing more lonely than expressing your fears to your life partner, or tell them you're struggling, only for them insult you. I presume his lack of empathy isn't just for this situation, and it's a general pattern of behaviour. Some people cannot identify with the suffering of others.

Angelinflipflops · 08/10/2022 08:04

Mocking is unpleasant at the best of times

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