AIBU to never want to sleep with anyone again

[Cinder20]

Name changed for the obvious !
I have always felt insecure down there pre children and 100 times more post children. My vag is really not pretty .
I can’t even bare to look anymore.
I actually asked the nurse who was performing a smear , surely I’m not normal . Can I do anything about that? and her reply was well you can go to Harley street but the results arnt always what you expect!
3 out of 5 sexual partners have commented on it .
2 in a nasty way and one in a jokey way! Other 2 were blind drunk.
It literally gives me the fear of god the thought of having sex with anyone ever again.
Yes Iv seen the Great Wall of vaginas.
still doesn’t make me feel better.

In the nicest way, you need a better standard of man.

If a bloke said something rude about my private parts after I'd had sex with him... it'd be the last time he would get to be with me.

Don't let these crap men get you down. Work on your self esteem instead. There is nothing wrong with you other than a lack of confidence.

Yep, you need better men.

A vagina really doesn't need to look pretty to do what it needs to do. Any man who objectifies you in that way isn't worth staying with.

Yeah, like cocks are so beautiful 🙄

Find a better standard of man!

On another note, how much time do you spend looking at your vag? What makes you think it's not pretty?

have you seen a penis?

God, they are not pretty!

If you never wanted to have sex again because you just have no interest in sex then fair enough but this is really sad. It sounds like you’ve been with some horrible men. Is the father of your children one of the men that made these comments?

This

Do you mind explaining what’s wrong with it exactly?
my friends labia was too large to the point it rubbed against her underwear and was really sore. So she got labiaplasty on the nhs as although there was a cosmetic element, practically it caused her issues.
in her case it wasn’t normal. Is it anything like that?

You sleep with ugly men. Inside where it's much worse.

Thanks for the replies !
One of the men was actually a long term partner who I absolutely adored and who I thought felt the same . He came to mine one night a bit worse for wear after the pub. We had a heated argument and as he was walking out the door to leave he shouted a nasty insult. I was absolutely mortified and beyond hurt. Il never forget it. Safe to say it didn’t work out.

Yes ! It’s very uncomfortable. Hence why I tried to bring it up to the nurse but she wasn’t very helpful . I could never afford Harley street 🤣

Well tbh we have all said things we regret in the heat of the moment. BUT, my husband would never insult me personally in such a manner.

@mytearsricochet yes . He was the one who said it in a jokey way. The first time he I ignored the ‘joke’ second time I explained to him how insecure I was and in fairness he didn’t do it again although from that it’s all I could ever think about when we slept together

Any man that insults a vagina has clearly not seen many. As no two are the same.

penis’ (peni?) are rank

I agree you need a better standard of man. No one should be rude about the look of a vagina - neither vaginas or penises are generally very pretty to look at.

If its really uncomfortable I agree you should be able to get treatment. Might be better to make an appointment with a doctor to discuss rather than mentioning to a nurse in an off hand way.

Men who are scorned are often bitter and resentful and often resort to cruel and low blows. They liked your vagina whilst in it?! Only mentioned the issue on arguing? Yeah they're lying and bitter and nasty. - standard misogyny. It's not you it's them. And even if it is you- and you've a weird one (I have- my Labia is an inch out. At least) then they don't matter. Penis are wide and varied, as are vulva- i bat for both teams- there's no norm, and anyone who shames, usually shit at sex.

Don’t let the nasty things people say to you affect how you see yourself. Don’t let anyone rob you of your confidence or happiness. Love and accept yourself as you are. The right man will not say something shallow and cruel and spiteful. And I’d love to see what they look like too. Bastards.

If things are actually uncomfortable for you then I’d bring it up with a doctor rather than a nurse as they might be able to refer you on. You shouldn’t be having to live with discomfort. You shouldn’t have to put up with dickish comments from the men you’re sleeping with either though. I’m sorry they’ve been so awful to you.

Thank you everyone! You have cheered me up tonight ! Got a bit choked up actually 🙈 I definitely need to bite the bullet and speak to someone about this.

Definitely go to the GP. You can get labiaplasty on the nhs if it’s uncomfortable/rubs. That’s what my friend did and had it done x

I remember my late OH (a doctor) telling me that when he was a very junior doc on surgical rotation, the surgeon got him to trim a lady's labia because they were uncomfortably large. He was given scissors and tentatively trimmed a bit off - the surgeon grabbed the scissors and told him not to tinker about but have a good chop!! Luckily the patient was asleep. I do not know how satisfied she was with the result!

I am puzzled as to why you keep looking at your vulva. They are not the prettiest of things - ditto penises - but they do their job. It sounds as if some idiot man has made you conscious of your, no doubt, perfectly normal anatomy. But if it is uncomfortable then see the doc - or get looser pants?! Good luck with it all.

@Youdoyoutoday When I’m waxing. I do it at home to save me the embarrassment of going to a salon . On these days i feel exceptionally low because I have to look

Tbh, if you were particularly ' different ', I imagine the nurse you saw would have been more concerned. I think if they have any actual concerns, they call a doctor in anyway, so I would hazard a guess that she's seen loads of other people like you. I think that some people will use any low comment they can when they want to hurt you. Aren't there even quite nasty terms for larger labia? It's just shit really. Stop worrying and find someone decent. I'm sure you're absolutely normal.

I agree that you need a better man and they didn't complain once they were in your vagina. One of my friends once said, most men feel grateful enough to get anywhere near a vagina when I said about worrying about body hair.
Having said that, I had a labiaplasty and am very pleased with the results!
I didn't go to Harley Street but did a bit of research and had one done for around £2,000. Well worth it for me.
They are extremely hard to get on the NHS, esp now.
That's not to say that you should change yourself for a man.