To be worried about potential hereditary mental illness

[Sunshineonacloud]

My son is young. My brothers have clinical depression and borderline personality disorder and there is potential undiagnosed bipolar disorder down my male line as far back as grandparents. There is also some mental illness (eating disorders, self harm, depression) and substance abuse on my mother's side.

If your children are affected by metal health were there any early signs? Did you have a feeling it would happen from early on or not until adolescence.

I always thought bullying, isolation and an unstable home life were the main contributors to poor mental health however I feel genetics alone can create a predisposition and be a factor.

In the most sensitive way I'd be interested to hear from mums who children are affected by mental illness and likewise those who have mental illness in their family and their children are unaffected. What have your experiences been?

I read these things can run down male lines. Has this been anyone's experience?

Hugs to anyone who needs it. I know how hard this stuff can be 💐

To add my DH has no history of mental illness

It's hard to say OP, my great friend has really extreme mental health problems which weren't hereditary, but she had them from an early age sadly and they just got worse over time. I think maybe if your thinking of bipolar and all that the child you're worrying about might probably have started exhibiting symptoms already if that helps.

@Softplayhooray excuse my ignorance but what would those early signs look like do you know?

I have worried about this as well as we have mental health problems on both of DD’s sides of the family, her dad (my ex) has had MH problems as did two of my mum’s sisters though I haven’t.

Curious to hear from anyone with any scientific background.

Genetics loads the gun, but environment/experience pulls the trigger.

I’ve got multiple mental health diagnoses - including those of my mother, auntie and great grandmother. My sisters don’t. I have awful adolescent experiences which I think worked on the predisposition that I had. I was an anxious child, but not overly so. I did well in school, was “well behaved” and made friends easily. I don’t think anyone would have predicted it tbh.

You can read up on indicative prevention - very big in psychiatric/psychological research atm.

An interesting easy starting point: eprints.lse.ac.uk/88090/1/McDaid_Preventative%20Strategies_Accepted.pdf

Interested to know what you’ve read if you could share sources please?

I’m interested in this as my H died by suicide and there’s a little bit of a mental illness history in his family (rumour of a great great aunt who went mad). My son has a few traits very much like my husband like dyslexia and just the way he thinks about the world (engineering type mind) and the usual mannerisms we inherit from parents. But I’ve never heard of mental illness running down male lines. H was very much a suicide completely out of the blue and generally had a positive outlook on life, so it scares me a bit that whatever caused it could be very deep and hidden.

Have you read any of Dr Gabor Maté’s books?

Genetics loads the gun, but environment/experience pulls the trigger.

yes this is what I’ve heard people like Gabor Maté and Irene Lyon say (think she trained with either Peter Levine or Besel Van Der Kolk - can’t remember which)

Did my psychology degree years ago but as far as I recall the only proven genetic predisposition is for schizophrenia.

Well genetics of mental health disorders can’t really be proven. The very categorisation of mental health problems in the DSM-5/ICD-11 isn’t exactly based on science!

Heritability studies show high heritability of most common mental disorders and severe mental health disorders, but genome wide association studies have failed to identify consistent and reliable gene(s) for disorders, including schizophrenia.

Having worked in mental health for 37 years the genetic risk is present in a few mental illnesses, I can't remember the exact figures but if two people with an illness such as schizophrenia have a baby then there is an increased risk of inherited disease. In all my years of experience the most effective way to reduce mental illness developing is to provide a calm, loving home with structure and boundaries in place . Exposure to adverse childhood events, emotionally distant parents, witnessing abuse, substance misuse exposure are far more prevalent in the backgrounds of people with mental health problems than family history of illness.

Genetics loads the gun, but environment/experience pulls the trigger.

I don't have medical training, but mental illness (depression and bipolar disorder) run in my Dad's side of the family. I think the above is hugely important, the predisposition might be present, but stability, good role models, and learning coping techniques early in life can really help individuals deal with the illness.

Depression and anxiety run in both my parents side. My dad died by suicide and his sister took an overdose (still here thankfully) My mum struggles with depression and anxiety since I was a baby, which I only found out recently.

I've had depression and anxiety since my son was born, it escalated very quickly when my dad died and I don't think I'll ever recover from it. It also played a part in my separation I think, as my partner was always out so I'd constantly fret.

I'm not in a good place at the moment although have a good group of people around me, I still feel it's not enough and that my son deserves better. I don't want him growing up with a mum that's an absolute mess. I worry for his mental health just now with the separation and how he would cope if I wasn't here

I agree with the genetics part and environmental thing pulling the trigger. One event can send you in a downward spiral

@thissucks12 Oh, I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time. 💐

Are you getting any help? After a long time trying to cope with anxiety, mine got out of hand a few years ago (work stress) and I finally went to the doctor’s. I was diagnosed with GAD, had counseling and have been on medication ever since (just a low dose). It’s made a huge difference to my life and I’m so different to my Dad, for example, who didn’t seek help for his MH soon enough.

Re. Children. My DD doesn’t seem to have inherited these tendencies, but my DS (14) has. I think that getting help early is the best way to learn how to deal with anxiety so he started counseling at 11 and has had it on and off since, whenever he needs it. His therapist is amazing and has taught him relaxation techniques and how to cope with his fears /negative thoughts.

Keep battling on, @thissucks12 and ask for help.

It's an odd one. I'm bipolar (does run in my family) but by far my worst and longest episode/ psychotic break happened at a very calm, happy, stable stress free period of my life... And vice versa I've managed to go through really quite traumatic events just being strong without any episodes being triggered.
Mine does genuinely seem to be organic and random and not triggered by anything.

This is something that has always played on my mind.
My dad had serious MH issues and alcoholism.
My nan ( dad's mum) suffered from her "nerves"
Both DHs parents were alcoholics for at least part of their lives and had a recovered/ relapsed cycle.
When I had children My greatest fear was that they would suffer like my dad and have unhappy lives.
I have 4 DC
Eldest had anorexia which then led onto problems with drugs, she is now fully recovered and really doing well. Looking back I suspect my nan had anorexia also.
Youngest has an anxiety disorder and struggled to attend school from year 8, she is now out of school and learns at home, thankfully now improving. She was recently diagnosed with autism.
My middle child also has autism and is anxious.
All my DC were generally happy until their teens when things started to go off the rails . They were a bit anxious but were socialable , had friends , enjoyed after school activities.
So no really early warning signs of MH issues apart perhaps from my youngest who was an overthinking over anxious child but that could also be autism which might also be linked to poor MH.
I have beat myself up lots over my DCs MH.
If its genetics it my fault, if its environment- well I guess that's my fault too!
But slowly you realise you have to walk alongside them and support them but you can't "fix" it.
I don't think it's at all inevitable having a family history of MH means your DC will also suffer but I think it can be a factor.
Love them lots, but give them space and consistent boundaries and provude a secure home and hope for the best!
Even if they do suffer with MH it doesn't mean their path will be like other family members , they are themselves and recovery is completely possible.

Even if they do suffer with MH it doesn't mean their path will be like other family members , they are themselves and recovery is completely possible.

This is so true, @Runnerduck34 and it's also possible to support them or find them find the support to approach their illness differently.

My Dad was brought up in an era when MH problems were considered unmentionable (at least in his family). His father suffered from depression, for example, but never received treatment; neither did my Dad nor his brother until well into adulthood.

Thank you @Cameleongirl. Yes I'm on medication and seeing a counsellor but I don't feel it's helping any. My son is seeing me upset as I just can't hold in the tears anymore, and I'm worried for him as he's an anxious wee thing.

I hate the thought that I've caused him to be like this

Hello, I come from a family where both sides have a history of bipolar disorder as far back as my great grandmother. Suicide attempts on both sides. Myself, my siblings and cousins do not suffer from bipolar or severe depression. We have all had mild depression at some point in our adult lives but all come from broken homes with questionable parenting. Despite this none of us have serious diagnosed mental health issues. At least 3/5 of us sort professional counseling which has been a great help in getting to a place of resilience. My experiences tell me that being aware of the mental health history of your family and providing your child with open and honest love and acceptance will help them to be resilient to anything in life that comes their way. I definitely believe in nurture over nature in these circumstances. In families with severe mental health issue it is difficult to give children a stable home life but self awareness allows people to end these negative generational patterns x

I'd like to add to that there are many people with a neurological disorders without any of the things you listed in their background & no family history either. It's just luck of the draw. I don't think we should assume that if a person has mental illness, then they have experienced adverse childhood events.

And eating disorders. I believe desperation too.

Mental health issues run in my family. There have been multiple suicides by male members of the family, inpatient stays and anti depressants galore. Dh also has a history of severe depression. I was really concerned about ds, it seemed inevitable that he would be effected.

He is almost 16 now and things are kind of ok I suppose is a way of putting it. He was diagnosed with autism and suffers from anxiety. We pay for private therapy for him and he is getting by. He is a high achiever and happy enough. No major concerns right now although there was a very rocky patch last year. It is something that I constantly monitor though, I check in with him a lot, ask if there is anything he needs to make life easier and like I said he attends therapy.

Given his autism I'm not sure he was ever destined to have an easy life but I suppose all we can do is support him as best we can and be on the lookout for when he needs extra care.

My DH and I both have Bipolar Type II. When we first got married, we saw a psychiatrist who specialised in genetics and heritability. DH has no family history of mental illness. My dad also has paranoia and depression, his brother was schizophrenic, his mum was "manic depressive" and his dad was an abusive alcoholic. So I was sure we should adopt.

The psych actually was hugely reassuring. He said that the chance of schizo affective disorder was slightly higher than anyone without MH problems, but that the treatments for bipolar and schizophrenia have changed drastically in the last ten years. Less use of lithium and drugs with terrible side effects, more focus on researching anti epileptics and anti psychotics along with the brilliant fact that there is less stigma in our house about talking about MH.

He even told us that if our children should end up being diagnosed as teens or young adults, we will have nearly another two decades of research, learning and treatment to be the best parents and carers we can be.

As far as I’m aware, due to the inability to test it properly, is that it’s thought that whilst you can have a genetic propensity to MH issues, in most cases you need a trigger to “turn them on”.

Nature and nurture are intertwined. Do what is in your power and don’t worry about what isn’t.

Early stable parenting - no matter who does it - is hugely important. Stable = physical and emotional needs met by the same group of up to 4 people till
the child is 5.

Bad maternal mental health for children aged 0-5 is a strong predictor the DC will suffer themselves. Unless healthy people share the care, which reduces risk.