To follow NHS guidance?

[SewhereIam]

Dd (5) has been off school twice this term. The first time school called me to collect her as she had her head cut open in class. I kept her off the following morning as it was still weeping, her father went ballistic, called school, and school called me and asked me to bring her in after lunch, which I did.

She spent Wednesday night at her father's. I got a call from him asking me to collect her from his house on Thursday morning as she was too ill for school. She had a sore throat but was otherwise ok. I took her to the GP and he said "swollen tonsils, will wait and see if it is bacterial or viral." Absolutely fine. Called school and they said bring her im tomorrow (Friday).

Overnight she went downhill, fever, calling out in pain whenever the calpol/nurofen wore off, and refusing all food and drink today and her voice has changed. Now both school and her father have come down on me like a ton of bricks because "every day counts". Back to GP at lunchtime and she has bacterial tonsillitis and antibiotics. NHS guidance says don't send a child in with a fever.

Am I completely out of line? Why was it ok for Dad to keep her off without a fever, but now she has one I'm wrong to do so? I feel like a complete incompetent that missed a memo that everyone else got!

Sounds like you're doing the right thing to me. How on earth can the school assess how poorly your child is?Maybe you need to explicitly ask the GP for guidance.

Thank you Errol. I just hate getting something wrong/getting told off, especially when I thought I was doing the right thing x

She is 5 u can keep her off if you think she needs a wee duvet day if you like but in this case you were absolutely right to keep her off. I take it her father is an utter cunt?

This is just ridiculous. No doubt if you send your DD in, she'd be sent home again

Wtf are you doing listening to school tell you what to do? Are you under any form of oversight from social services or educational welfare?

If not, tell school by email and make a formal complaint if any receptionist is rude enough to question your judgement. They can refer it to the head if concerned.

And tell your ex to keep his beak out on your days. Who does he think he is?

You on in the right. Sounds like daddy dearest is stirring the pot with the school

It sounds like her Dad is calling and making a fuss to the school, and they're feeling pressured to speak with you to get him off their back. It would be insane to send her in feeling like she does. You're doing exactly the right thing. Hope she's feeling much better soon

Why is the school facilitating your ex's behaviour towards you? And why are you paying attention to what they think?

Surely the school back off when you informed them she had a fever, anyway?

You are doing what's appropriate for your DD's health, and it's consistent with the GP's advice. Pay no attention to any fucker that pressures you to do otherwise.

So its okay for her to have a day off with a mild sore throat and okay in herself but she has to go in with a fever and on antibiotics? Absolutely ridiculous, sounds like dads got school wrapped around his finger against you.

I'd be telling the school very clearly that she is your child and you and only you will decide if she is well enough to be in school

And if dad persists in onvokvong the school I'd be speaking to a solicitor about whether there is any grounds for a legal matter

Thank you all so much. It has completely blindsided me, and I've been questioning myself all day. I don't trust my own judgement any more as ex constantly tells me that whatever decision I make re. Dd is wrong and this just compounded it.

Her father is an arse. Would he go to work if he were crying in pain with a sore throat? They can be hell ish.
Go with your gut.

He's being an arse and gaslighting you. He's taking the opportunity to criticise you. I'd cut all unnecessary contact with him, meaning just communicate about children and ignore anything that isn't about them.

The child needs to recover at home in bed not be shoved into school.

Ex headteacher (secondary) here. As much as I agree that "every day counts", you're her parent and it's YOUR call, not the school's. Children who are (a) too ill to learn and (b) possibly infectious to others should stay at home!