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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you rather be taking out for dinner or have the guy cook for you on the first date

52 replies

dotty636 · 07/10/2022 11:38

Just that

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 07/10/2022 12:14

Definitely go out. I'd avoid a meal as I think it puts pressure on forced conversation. Go and do an activity.

edel2 · 07/10/2022 12:14

Anniefrenchfry · 07/10/2022 12:12

Who the heck gets taken out, except children? We may go out for dinner as a mutual decision but as adults we are not taken. How very antiquated.

and only a fool would go to a strangers house for a first date.

Calm down there hun

AriettyHomily · 07/10/2022 12:15

Out for dinner. I wouldn't go to the home of someone I don't know.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/10/2022 12:15

"I'll cook for us" means cook then fuck Imo so unless I intended to have sex with him it would be a meal out.

Bayleaf25 · 07/10/2022 12:16

Taken out. Definitely wouldn’t go to the house of someone I didn’t know well!! And less intense in a restaurant.

VickyEadieofThigh · 07/10/2022 12:16

unfortunateevents · 07/10/2022 11:38

Taken out because him cooking suggests going to his home which I might not feel comfortable with on a first date – also no easy escape if the date is going wrong!

Exactly this.

FourTeaFallOut · 07/10/2022 12:17

Go out. Easier to leave if it doesn't go well.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/10/2022 12:18

Anniefrenchfry · 07/10/2022 12:12

Who the heck gets taken out, except children? We may go out for dinner as a mutual decision but as adults we are not taken. How very antiquated.

and only a fool would go to a strangers house for a first date.

It implies they're picking somewhere and paying, not wiping your face with a baby wipe and holding your hand to cross the road 🙄

AsAnyFuleKno · 07/10/2022 12:19

Depends how good a cook he is!

sunflowerdaisyrose · 07/10/2022 12:20

I've gone to a house once for a first date, it was a colleague who I already knew. He cooked a delicious roast and we had a great evening - I didn't drink as I was driving and we didn't have sex! We went out for a while but that first date was one of my favourite first dates ever. I wouldn't go to a stranger's house though and would prefer to meet somewhere public.

Helenloveslee4eva · 07/10/2022 12:22

First date in public. Don’t care what I would be eating

OlympicProcrastinator · 07/10/2022 12:27

Like most PP’s, I’d only go to his on a first date if I already knew him well as a friend or colleague and it had progressed to a date. I’d have to know he knew sex was not on the cards for a first date either but providing all the above was ok, I’d love him to cook a meal for me.
Knowing a man can cook well and seeing how clean his place was would be important for me.

CheezePleeze · 07/10/2022 12:31

Anniefrenchfry · 07/10/2022 12:12

Who the heck gets taken out, except children? We may go out for dinner as a mutual decision but as adults we are not taken. How very antiquated.

and only a fool would go to a strangers house for a first date.

Good God 🙄

ShadowPuppets · 07/10/2022 12:31

No chance would I go to someone’s house on a first date unless I’d already been there because we were friends etc. Even still I’d rather be out - the buzz of other people
helps if conversation stalls briefly.

I’d rather not commit to a full dinner tbh - as others have said it’s a long time to spend if you’re not gelling.

I think every first date I ever had was drinks at the pub! And if it was going well we’d get chips for sustenance 😁

XmasElf10 · 07/10/2022 12:33

I'd rather meet for coffee and split the bill in case he bores me. I'd be happy to go out for a meal on date 2 but would still prefer to go Dutch. I only want my meal bought for me for special occasions like birthdays.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 07/10/2022 12:34

Dinner out, no way would I want to be in his home. Also I’d meet him there, by saying taking someone to a restaurant you might mean being picked up and I wouldn’t be giving him my address so soon.

NoSquirrels · 07/10/2022 12:35

First date = public place. Non negotiable.

Wellward · 07/10/2022 12:36

Anniefrenchfry · 07/10/2022 12:12

Who the heck gets taken out, except children? We may go out for dinner as a mutual decision but as adults we are not taken. How very antiquated.

and only a fool would go to a strangers house for a first date.

This. Couldn't agree more!

FairyLightAddict · 07/10/2022 12:37

First date - just a drink. Would hate to go to a restaurant on a first date in case I didn't like them. I would never go to a strangers house. Crazy behaviour.

Thatiswild · 07/10/2022 12:37

Out, definitely.

AuntieStella · 07/10/2022 12:39

Public place for first date (unless someone I already knew)

Think I'd prefer drinks at a pub that does food, so we could stay to eat, or not, depending on how things are going

Cw112 · 07/10/2022 12:39

Depends on how well I know him prior.

If he's a stranger more or less I would want to have dinner out incase he's an axe murderer.

If he's a friend and someone I know well then dinner at his would be fine.

Noteverybodylives · 07/10/2022 12:55

Who the heck gets taken out, except children? We may go out for dinner as a mutual decision but as adults we are not taken. How very antiquated.

It’s just a saying.

Lots if people get asked out to dinner, to the cinema etc.

You agree to it obviously but the initial decision was the other person and so technically they’re taking the other person out.

It sounds like OP is asking for suggestions for someone they have been talking to.

SpinningFloppa · 07/10/2022 12:58

Wouldn’t go to someone’s house on the first date or have them at mine.

Ponderingwindow · 07/10/2022 13:16

Unless I have known the man previously and we have just decided to add dating to the friendship, we are staying in public places for the entire duration of the first date. A picnic would work if the weather is nice.