To let my Dd go with MIL

[Kee0110]

I got a text last night from MIL asking our plans on Saturday afternoon as her friends are down to stay in caravans they own on a camp site near by and she wants to take our kids dd 9 and dd 8 months to see them.
I've met these friends twice (her best friend from school and extended family daughters, and grandchildren)
The first time i met them was brief I hadn't long met my partner we was out and about with MIL and was introduced , we said Hi I had a few looks up and down and they continued conversation with MIL, didn't think much else of it.
Second time we met MIL met us at the campsite they were staying at.. I hadn't long had baby (MIL first grandchild) she must have only been a few months old, MIL wanted her friends to meet her. Straight away I felt out of place, I said hello (im friendly) got a quick hello back from her friend but her daughter again looked me up and down didn't say a word and walked up to MIL holding my dd and said 'ooh i bet your a daddys girl' then walked off back into her caravan. Awkward. Not the warmest of greetings from them to say the least. At that point I felt like I really did not need to be there, so asked MIL before we went inside shall I just go home and come back to grab the girls later on? Which she insisted I stayed just incase baby cried (at the time she wouldn't settle on MIL) I understood and stayed. We went inside and I joined myself in on conversations MIL was having to get involved so i wasn't just sat there like a spare part. Her friends daughter kept popping in to say that the chinese food was coming soon and i felt like that was my cue to leave, I left with kids and MIL stayed.

AIBU to say no to MIL taking the children to see them this weekend or do we take them out for the day? I dont want to be petty about it but I feel like I come as a package with my children and they made no effort in the slightest both times we met to get to know me. I did not have to take both my kids to meet them I did that for them and MIL.

MIL is lovely in many ways but likes to show baby off alot and kind of tries to take over my role in lots of things me, partner and I have to bite our tongue alot. I feel like she might sulk over this if we don't let them go.

Id like to also add that I am mostly well presented and friendly and I really don't understand why they felt like they couldn't approach me or maybe they just didn't want too. It all felt very weird.

Please kind words only there are more reasons as to why I feel like i do and partner understands and feels same way , although he is more laid back than me.

You trust your MIL and she's great with the kids. Let them go with her.....its like cutting your nose off to spite your face if you say no.
She's not responsible for how her friends daughter acted towards you.

I guess in these situations the Mother is just the incubator right? I've felt that a few times.

You've made good points, points im already aware of as I said them myself as you quoted.

However I do not think its 'odd' or 'weird' to feel slightly uneasy leaving my children with people I don't know that didn't exactly give off the greatest of impressions.

My last comment was in reply to yours not sure what happened there.

You're not leaving your children with the friends, though, you're leaving them with MIL who you trust.

Anyway thanks for all your advice I think I know what I am going to do although I hesitate, but will put my feelings aside for MIL and children and enjoy a few hours with my partner! 😊

Multiple name change fail...
I'd be in two minds about this, as you clearly are. No issue with MIL having the kids, you clearly trust her and she has a good relationship with the kids. But I would feel uncomfortable with MIL taking the kids to spend an afternoon with people I didn't know or get on with (regardless of whose "fault") that is.
Your DD has only met them twice I think you said, and the baby never met them, so they have no attachment or interest in visiting these people. Is this really a fun afternoon for your kids or will they be bored having to chat to strangers?
In all honesty I'd probably say no and suggest MIL has them another afternoon.

9yo yes if you are usually happy with the care and supervision given to her by her grandmother and have no particular bad feelings about the new partner etc. 8mo baby, nope.

Reading your updates and understanding that your MIL is lovely and you have a great relationship, I’d be honest and say something like: “I wouldn’t have mentioned it MIL but I got a really unfriendly, even hostile vibe off them, did you notice anything? You know I’m always happy for you to have them but I just feel uncomfortable with my children spending time with them without me because of that. Do I sound like a loon?”

For all we know she might have similar reservations to you and be quite happy with that.

If she asks you what she’s going to say to them if they ask why the children couldn’t come, just say it’s up to her but you don’t mind her telling them that you’ve found them unfriendly when you’ve met.

She almost certainly won’t pass that on but who cares if she does? Why should everyone else feel uncomfortable but the people whose rudeness caused it in the first place. Don’t let her make it your problem. It’s not. It’s just fairly minor basic consequences.