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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my 2 yo watch 5 hours of TV?

137 replies

Cbeebiesismybestfriend · 07/10/2022 06:05

God that sounds so bad written down.

He goes through stages of waking at 5 and it usually lasts around a week then reverts to half six again, not sure why.

I don’t know what to do with him at this time other than let him watch TV! Then he has another hour or so at the end of the day Blush

Do others do the same?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cbeebiesismybestfriend · 07/10/2022 07:24

@lannistunut it’s quite hard to answer as like most children this age he does lots of little activities. So he might wander off for two minutes and play with some cars, wander back and watch Bluey, wander off and we need to change his nappy … he has cuddles and breakfast, drinks, tries to destroy the lounge, is dissuaded from destroying the lounge …

OP posts:
Romeoalpha · 07/10/2022 07:24

inappropriateraspberry · 07/10/2022 07:19

He's only 2! Why is everyone expecting him to be able to play games or with toys on his own?
OP, if it works for you, and he is happy, there is nothing wrong with it.

Because it is developmentally appropriate for 2 year olds to be able to play independently with cars, bricks, etc. Yes they will want mum nearby taking an interest, but they should be starting to play on their own.

”works for me and keeps them happy” is what parents who feed their kids McDonalds every day say, too.

lannistunut · 07/10/2022 07:25

inappropriateraspberry · 07/10/2022 07:19

He's only 2! Why is everyone expecting him to be able to play games or with toys on his own?
OP, if it works for you, and he is happy, there is nothing wrong with it.

Most kids of two play with toys. They can't play 'games' alone but they should be playing (which means faffing about) all the time.

ladydimitrescu · 07/10/2022 07:25

@KvotheTheBloodless

There is not a link between screen time and ADHD - that's complete bollocks. It's biological, brain structures and changes cause ADHD. The only environmental factors known to affect ADHD are maternal drinking and smoking during pregnancy, low birth weight, brain injuries, lead exposure and severe trauma. Dangerous to spout that crap in an attempt to make parents feel guilty. Will be reporting your comment and I seriously hope mumsnet remove it.

Iheartmykyndle · 07/10/2022 07:26

Mine did this. I had a no TV till 6am rule and then it was only cbeebies (and it's bloody Baby Jake at 6am). She could play quietly by herself or look at books but there was no good TV and mummy wasn't entertaining her. I used to lie on the sofa drinking tea and scrolling MN. Eventually she twigged that it was crap getting up so early and started staying in bed.

TheRubyRedshoes · 07/10/2022 07:28

Op you are aware of it and this situation won't last forever.

I would simply counter balance it later on .

I'm sure it's been mentioned but also have a special box or bag of toy's for the 5am.

As long as he gets proper stimulation,taking out, mature, etc later on I'm sure he will be fine .

Original poster
Cbeebiesismybestfriend · 07/10/2022 07:28

And I’m certainly not trying in any way to be awkward, if anyone has any good suggestions I’m all ears as I wouldn’t dream of putting CBeebies on for 5 hours between 2 and 7 but somehow so early in the morning it barely seems to count.

The problem is like most children this age his attention span is very short, he does play for a bit but for anything meaningful it needs adult interaction and that’s quite hard at 5am Smile

OP posts:
Romeoalpha · 07/10/2022 07:29

ladydimitrescu · 07/10/2022 07:25

@KvotheTheBloodless

There is not a link between screen time and ADHD - that's complete bollocks. It's biological, brain structures and changes cause ADHD. The only environmental factors known to affect ADHD are maternal drinking and smoking during pregnancy, low birth weight, brain injuries, lead exposure and severe trauma. Dangerous to spout that crap in an attempt to make parents feel guilty. Will be reporting your comment and I seriously hope mumsnet remove it.

I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. The research is ongoing and is hotly debated, but there are links between screen time and ADHD.

iCouldSleepForAYear · 07/10/2022 07:31

Suggest you do what you've got to do to get through this phase, and see about counterbalancing later in the day as a previous poster suggested. The crazy early wake up calls don't last forever.

lannistunut · 07/10/2022 07:32

Cbeebiesismybestfriend · 07/10/2022 07:24

@lannistunut it’s quite hard to answer as like most children this age he does lots of little activities. So he might wander off for two minutes and play with some cars, wander back and watch Bluey, wander off and we need to change his nappy … he has cuddles and breakfast, drinks, tries to destroy the lounge, is dissuaded from destroying the lounge …

I'm not sure I understand what your view is. People can express their views but you are his mother.

If it was me, I would switch the TV off. But it is up to you. The science is pretty clear that TV (screens) should be minimised for developmental reasons, but it is your child and I as I said upthread it does not usually actively harm them, just removes an opportunity to learn more in that piece of time.

TheRubyRedshoes · 07/10/2022 07:32

There you go.
Just relax about it.

One of mine probably watched too much but had lots of other stimulation later on to make up for it.
I had no help, grandparents etc so the TV was relied on too much.
She had far more to do than I ever did , taken out far far more and in the day I was sahm and lots of interaction and activities.

She's now 16 and is on course for all 9s at grammar school, extremely well read etc.

I think it's all about balance, and with children they change so much so quickly.

Rinatinabina · 07/10/2022 07:34

Thats way too early, does he like books?tbh when DD did this I just got up with her and got her to u load dishwasher etc. BUT I wasn’t working. I would try to delay the start a bit, see if he’ll sit in your bed with some stickers or books.

It’s incredibly hard though at 2, DD is almost 3 and can only now occupy herself for ten minutes. You have all my sympathy and absolutely no judgement!

Mylittlesandwich · 07/10/2022 07:36

There may be a link between screen time and ADHD. It has been basically impossible to show a causal link between screen time and ADHD. Screen time is also known to reduce depression so it's hardly the devil.

OP I have the tv on in the background most of the time. It's how I was brought up so normal to me. At that time in the morning I would do exactly the same. Make sure you're engaging plenty later in the day and are present. Doing all the "right" things.

Whinge · 07/10/2022 07:36

As for why not switch it off I think because he does flit and out and most programmes are so short that if I turned it off entirely he’d flit in and out of his toys but start pulling the toilet roll off the wall or emptying the cats litter tray over the floor!

Have you tried, or are you just assuming the worst?

There's nothing stopping him from pulling toilet paper off the wall or emptying the litter tray even if the TV is on, especially as you say he isn't usually interested in it.

TheRubyRedshoes · 07/10/2022 07:36

Op is acutely aware of his TV time though.

She is a conscious aware parent who wondering about the impact.

Some DC very sadly would spend those hours in the day watching TV when they should be doing other things.thats the difference surely?
Child wakes up and then sends their day on the TV?
Solidly?
Again when parents are ill... spending the day in front of the TV is necessary.
In a usually balanced full life it's fine.

chillipopcorn · 07/10/2022 07:37

Hjgfer · 07/10/2022 07:08

If your happy with it it’s fine. My daughters changed this week and is now having 3 hour binges watching YouTube videos of little girls play with their dolls. She then role plays what she’s watched on her iPad.

in winter we’ve usually have CBeebies on in the background all day.

Jesus. I mean the evidence is pretty clear regarding impact of screen time on small brains. All of us make decisions sometimes to make our lives easier but the fact that OP has asked this question means she knows it's not OK. It's not good for them (definitely not having the TV on all day!).

KatieKat88 · 07/10/2022 07:39

Romeoalpha · 07/10/2022 07:31

Only reading the first page of that link - it is focused on mobile screens, the impact of exposure to violent scenes too young and has a case study of a 9 year old who has been potentially wrongly diagnosed with ADHD whereas his behaviour is presenting like ADHD due to watching screens as above.

So I don't think OP's 2yo watching Cbeebies is quite the same thing really!

Romeoalpha · 07/10/2022 07:42

Cbeebiesismybestfriend · 07/10/2022 07:28

And I’m certainly not trying in any way to be awkward, if anyone has any good suggestions I’m all ears as I wouldn’t dream of putting CBeebies on for 5 hours between 2 and 7 but somehow so early in the morning it barely seems to count.

The problem is like most children this age his attention span is very short, he does play for a bit but for anything meaningful it needs adult interaction and that’s quite hard at 5am Smile

How about giving him a box of sensory toys like squishy balls, strings of pasta, sealed clear bottles of dried lentils, rice and peas to shake or fill them with coloured water oil and glitter, hand bells and other small instruments. If he’s going after the toilet roll and cat litter I expect giving him things like this that he is ‘allowed’ to play with will help keep him occupied. (Dry stuff only for the early morning, then when you wake up properly you can get out stuff like playdough or waterbeads)

lannistunut · 07/10/2022 07:44

Or give him a toilet roll of his own and move the one from the bathroom to a higher shelf.

A lot of kids actually have very boring toys, when you analyse them they are all essentially the same thing in different colours.

Bridgeth29 · 07/10/2022 07:45

Do what you need to do. The TV is NOT the devil.

Romeoalpha · 07/10/2022 07:48

KatieKat88 · 07/10/2022 07:39

Only reading the first page of that link - it is focused on mobile screens, the impact of exposure to violent scenes too young and has a case study of a 9 year old who has been potentially wrongly diagnosed with ADHD whereas his behaviour is presenting like ADHD due to watching screens as above.

So I don't think OP's 2yo watching Cbeebies is quite the same thing really!

Show quote history

True, but I chose that because it’s the first hit of hundreds and is a literature review so it does demonstrate a lot of research into adverse impact of screen time.

Also, if the OP’s toddler is getting 5 hours of TV at age 2 because she finds it convenient to keep him occupied, she is very likely to end up giving him screen time on other devices for the same reasons as he grows up. She needs to know the dangers, and so do other parents on here.

violetcuriosity · 07/10/2022 07:51

OP just do what you need to do, if he'll sit there and it means that you get to have a rest then just do it. He won't sit still forever. Don't be so hard on yourself I'm sure he plays alongside watching the tv x

Original poster
Cbeebiesismybestfriend · 07/10/2022 07:55

If only @Romeoalpha … you know when they have something they are allowed and it totally loses its appeal … 😂

he’s just been in the shower with me and his favourite game is throwing an empty bottle of shampoo into the bath, I have no idea why, but he was happy.

So when I analyse it it probably isn’t that awful as in my OP, it’s probably more like watching TV 5-730 and 8-9ish, which still isn’t great but not as bad.

OP posts:
grey12 · 07/10/2022 07:59

My trick is to put boring tv after a while and my kids always end up playing 😉 like in the mornings ITV changes from cartoons to boring adult tv and I keep the tv on. If I turn it off they'll come to annoy me