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Original poster

Does this financially ring true?

434 replies

ManyBooksLittleTime · 06/10/2022 19:48

We bought our house nearly 20 years ago for 245k. Now, 19 years later, we still have 203k left on the mortgage. I know the first years is basically paying interest , but only 42k in 19 years??? We have had good interest rates too.Also, my husband reckons it will go down to 181k by August next year. Please can soneone more astute with finance let me know if these numbers can be right?

OP posts:
cheshirebloke · 07/10/2022 21:37

Andypandy799 · 07/10/2022 16:42

I think pp need to stop criticising @ManyBooksLittleTime as many couples have one partner trusted to take care of the finances and nothing wrong with that.

Why people jump to the conclusion that her do has been doing something deceitful or malicious is just plain projecting and goes
with the many misandry posts on here.

Some men are wankers yes and some women can also be horrible but to generalise when you only know 1% of the story on here is disturbing and can’t be helpful to people who genuinely need help and advice.

Why don’t more MN not just give the benefit of the doubt, it’s not like he’s being accused of having an affair.

For example how do you know the DH isn’t self employed and used the equity in the home at times to support there business which in turn provides the finances for the family? May not be the case but who knows when on forums like this you only get a tiny bit of the story.

@ManyBooksLittleTime good luck putting your mind at rest and I’m sure you will all be fine, or as best as you can be as most of us are I’m the same boat now worrying about mortgages

But the numbers that the OP has posted do not add up, there's about 100k 'missing' somewhere. Either she's missed something (like being on IO mortgage for substantial period), or there's something else gone on.

Extending the house mortgage to subsidise a business is a tragic move, most lenders would ditch you tomorrow if they got wind of that. And you certainly shouldn't do something so serious without discussing it with a joint mortgage holder.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/10/2022 22:03

Andypandy799 · 07/10/2022 16:42

I think pp need to stop criticising @ManyBooksLittleTime as many couples have one partner trusted to take care of the finances and nothing wrong with that.

Why people jump to the conclusion that her do has been doing something deceitful or malicious is just plain projecting and goes
with the many misandry posts on here.

Some men are wankers yes and some women can also be horrible but to generalise when you only know 1% of the story on here is disturbing and can’t be helpful to people who genuinely need help and advice.

Why don’t more MN not just give the benefit of the doubt, it’s not like he’s being accused of having an affair.

For example how do you know the DH isn’t self employed and used the equity in the home at times to support there business which in turn provides the finances for the family? May not be the case but who knows when on forums like this you only get a tiny bit of the story.

@ManyBooksLittleTime good luck putting your mind at rest and I’m sure you will all be fine, or as best as you can be as most of us are I’m the same boat now worrying about mortgages

It's hardly unreasonable point out that a £100K shortfall in where the mortgage should be at time when we are moving from historically low interest rates to rapid rate rises is worrisome.

I manage the finances rather than DH and I am the main earner, but he still knows how much is owed on the mortgage. We've always made the decision that we would not use the family home to fund any business ventures etc. as you face the risk of losing both your home and your income stream at the same time if the business goes wrong.

There is a big question mark over what has happened with the OP's mortgage and both she and her DH have been lax. If he has borrowed more without her consent then he has potentially been fraudulent, on the other hand if he has been trying to involve her and she hasn't taken an interest then she bears some responsibility.

Each adult in a relationship has a responsibility to understand the financial side of things.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 07/10/2022 23:10

@Andypandy799 If the mortgage is in her name then she should have read the paperwork and known roughly what was happening

CountessWindyBottom · 07/10/2022 23:16

Do you have a person you can trust working in accounting or law? I'd advise you to bring the statements to a professional third party to establish exactly what is going on as it sounds like you're being fleeced. The discrepancy is huge and given that it is all in your name you need to assess liability and exactly where you stand. There is a substantial sum of money unaccounted for it seems so you need to take control of this stat.

Jobear2797 · 07/10/2022 23:16

Hi
As an ex bank manager those numbers don’t sound right I’m very sorry to say, but it’s not your fault, not at all, you trusted your partner and it seems that he either froze the mortgage for a period of time on interest only or borrowed more. It happens all the time sadly and you’d be amazed at how many houses in the 80’s that I had to go to repossess, a job I hated, where either the husband or wife didn’t know that the mortgage was even in arrears, let alone that they were supposed to move out that day. It happens all the time.
I’d do my research if I were you, ring the bank and ask them to talk you through exactly what has been going on and then sit down with your husband and explain that you know there is a problem and ask him why , (there can be so many reasons from losing his job and not wanting to worry you, through to an addiction, gambling etc,depression, to business reasons that might make sense once you talk about it, because borrowing on a mortgage is much cheaper than a business loan. He may have a plan of how he is going to repay it, if he has and it is sound then it’s all down to how you feel about him not telling you the truth, if you’re happy with his explanation and feel nothing dodgy is going on, then it’s all about addressing the issue of why he has not been open and honest, that would be what worries me most, yes money is important especially when it comes to your home but trust is far more important, in my opinion, for what little that is worth. If he hasn’t a plan try not to panic there will be options hopefully, you can look at extending the term of the mortgage or repaying more or even downsizing if you have to. I’m so so sorry that you are in this position and truly hope it’s not as bad as you think, but please do not listen to people who say you should have done this or that, you have been a trusting person who loves their husband and that makes you a nice person in my book. There’s plenty of men out there who haven’t a clue about their mortgages too and how much there wife is really spending on that handbag or shoes. Yes I do think that it’s better if both partners are equally involved in the finances but some have absolutely no interest what so ever, like my husband, he honestly hasn’t a clue and when I try to talk to him about it his eyes just glaze over, it isn’t his thing, but then he’s good at tons of things I’m not so he concentrates on what he is good at and I do the same, we run everything by each other but don’t check up on each other as we trust each other implicitly.
I so hope that it all works out for you and your husband and if you need any general advice I would be happy to try to help but only from personal experience as I left that world behind a long time ago!!! Good luck

Vapeyvapevape · 07/10/2022 23:25

Jobear2797 · 07/10/2022 23:16

Hi
As an ex bank manager those numbers don’t sound right I’m very sorry to say, but it’s not your fault, not at all, you trusted your partner and it seems that he either froze the mortgage for a period of time on interest only or borrowed more. It happens all the time sadly and you’d be amazed at how many houses in the 80’s that I had to go to repossess, a job I hated, where either the husband or wife didn’t know that the mortgage was even in arrears, let alone that they were supposed to move out that day. It happens all the time.
I’d do my research if I were you, ring the bank and ask them to talk you through exactly what has been going on and then sit down with your husband and explain that you know there is a problem and ask him why , (there can be so many reasons from losing his job and not wanting to worry you, through to an addiction, gambling etc,depression, to business reasons that might make sense once you talk about it, because borrowing on a mortgage is much cheaper than a business loan. He may have a plan of how he is going to repay it, if he has and it is sound then it’s all down to how you feel about him not telling you the truth, if you’re happy with his explanation and feel nothing dodgy is going on, then it’s all about addressing the issue of why he has not been open and honest, that would be what worries me most, yes money is important especially when it comes to your home but trust is far more important, in my opinion, for what little that is worth. If he hasn’t a plan try not to panic there will be options hopefully, you can look at extending the term of the mortgage or repaying more or even downsizing if you have to. I’m so so sorry that you are in this position and truly hope it’s not as bad as you think, but please do not listen to people who say you should have done this or that, you have been a trusting person who loves their husband and that makes you a nice person in my book. There’s plenty of men out there who haven’t a clue about their mortgages too and how much there wife is really spending on that handbag or shoes. Yes I do think that it’s better if both partners are equally involved in the finances but some have absolutely no interest what so ever, like my husband, he honestly hasn’t a clue and when I try to talk to him about it his eyes just glaze over, it isn’t his thing, but then he’s good at tons of things I’m not so he concentrates on what he is good at and I do the same, we run everything by each other but don’t check up on each other as we trust each other implicitly.
I so hope that it all works out for you and your husband and if you need any general advice I would be happy to try to help but only from personal experience as I left that world behind a long time ago!!! Good luck

Trusting her husband seems to be what's got the op into this mess .

nomdegrrr1 · 07/10/2022 23:47

@Jobear2797 I worked at a County Court back in the late eighties & early nineties, and there used to be literally hundreds of repossession hearings every month. It was horrific and made me incredibly risk averse with mortgages and loans.

I won't ignore the Official Secrets Act, even after all this time, and give details, but there were so many sad stories where people lost their homes because of the actions of others. Sometimes it was gambling, or drink, or just bad luck. Sometimes people tried to play the system and lost. Someone lost their home as a result of 'proving a point' and 'having their day in court' and being stuck with spiralling court costs trying to show that the rules didn't apply to them.

I'm not up to speed on mortgages now (or even then) but there seems to be some gaps and I hope that the OP can make sense. I hope that everything can be explained and sorted out. The OP must feel that they are trying to keep their feet in a landslide.

Jobear2797 · 07/10/2022 23:55

Vapeyvapevape · 07/10/2022 23:25

Trusting her husband seems to be what's got the op into this mess .

Show quote history

Yes but it’s not the OP’s fault IF he is untrustworthy, seems to me a lot of people are criticising the OP, when did we become a people who blame/shame the victim, that’ feels very unfair to me. Surely we should be supporting the op to find out the facts about her situation and if it’s as bad as it first looks support the op to find ways to rectify the situation. All the rest is her business and not ours.
Also how do we know that there is not a perfectly good reason for the mortgage being the size it is still, perhaps he swapped part of it to an endowment mortgage and has a huge junk of money he’s about to pay off it, or used it to invest in something that’s making a huge profit while borrowing was so cheap, everyone has jumped to the worst possible conclusion and I realise that’s because of the secrecy but I do know other couples that don’t discuss their finances at all, even ones that don’t know what each other earn and although that’s not how I would want to be with my husband I’m an each to their own type of person.

Jobear2797 · 08/10/2022 00:06

nomdegrrr1 · 07/10/2022 23:47

@Jobear2797 I worked at a County Court back in the late eighties & early nineties, and there used to be literally hundreds of repossession hearings every month. It was horrific and made me incredibly risk averse with mortgages and loans.

I won't ignore the Official Secrets Act, even after all this time, and give details, but there were so many sad stories where people lost their homes because of the actions of others. Sometimes it was gambling, or drink, or just bad luck. Sometimes people tried to play the system and lost. Someone lost their home as a result of 'proving a point' and 'having their day in court' and being stuck with spiralling court costs trying to show that the rules didn't apply to them.

I'm not up to speed on mortgages now (or even then) but there seems to be some gaps and I hope that the OP can make sense. I hope that everything can be explained and sorted out. The OP must feel that they are trying to keep their feet in a landslide.

Absolutely 100% agree, it was horrific and I hated that back in the day I had to turn up to repossess a house as the banks representative, it was horrible, especially if the wife or husband didn’t know or if there were children involved, did get a knife pulled on me once by one particular husband who didn’t have a clue, and plenty of times I’d cry my way home, especially as I was only 21 at the time, just like you it made me very very risk adverse.
I’m just praying that in this case it’s not as bad as it first appears and perhaps there’s some logical explanation, but it must be very worrying and not a little scary for the op, let’s just hope and pray that whatever the reason it can get sorted.

Iflyaway · 08/10/2022 02:10

I have this sinking feeling you've signed paperwork not understanding it and he's actually taken huge amounts of extra debt on the mortgage and blown it all

This is my feeling too....

OP, you really really - and I say this to every woman - need to get a grip on your finances. It's basic education because money is literally what makes the world go round and has such a HUGE effect on one's life.

A life that can throw a curve ball at any time - look at Ukraine, I could never have predicted that a year ago - you mention children, you need to protect yourself and them for your future. Relationships break down every day.

As a solo parent I have had to do this. I was born in the 1950 's and my mother (70 years married!) instilled it into me too. Become financially independent. She went through WWII so doubtless influenced her view.

Wishing you all the best.

speakout · 08/10/2022 07:34

Iflyaway I agree.I know so many women who leave all the finances to their OH.
Having a penis does not make you particularly skillful at managing money.
Women need to take control, have awareness- no matter their situation.
You were lucky having a mother to teach you these things Iflyaway, my mother was more of a surrendered ditsy wife, my father would give her "housekeeping" cash for food and small items. She didn't have a bank account and never worked.
When my father died she was adrift. No clue.

luxxlisbon · 08/10/2022 07:39

OP knows they borrowed more money multiple times, I don’t know why people are claiming the husband is scamming her and borrowing behind her back, she knew. She seems to just be surprised that they owe more than the original amount even though they borrowed more money.

ThorsBedazzler · 08/10/2022 07:46

But the issue is that the OP thought maybe £5-6k extra was added with the remortgage. If that's what her husband led her to believe, butnhe was actually taking a lot more, that is deceitful or he was relying on her ignorance.

OP needs to know now the facts, without her husband trying to bluster some nonsense.

And it is a wake up call for OP and others too, be aware of what your finances are.

Mumofsons87 · 08/10/2022 08:28

That's more like 8 years paid off not 8 years left! You will not have it laid off in 8 yesrs time. Are you sure ye havent extended the twrm each time you have remortgaged? To pay back the remainder over 8 years would be 2.5k with a zero interest rate, youre not even touching the interest on that so they wont approve an 8 year term! I highly doubt ye remortgaged and only took an extra 5 or 7k each time. Unless you are remortgaging yearly and taking the extra and also paying early breakage fees for leaving fixed term rates early or something. I'd estimate there has been an extra 100k taken out and added onto the mortgage. But I think ye have been underpaying all this time and the interest is building up. What bank approves a mortgage term of 8 years when the full amount won't be repayed in that time. Something not right at all here.

Louloudaisy2020 · 08/10/2022 09:17

Definitely not right...

We took out a 161k mortgage at 3.69% for 25 years. Just under half went on interest the rest capital each month. At the end of our 2 year fix we had paid off just over 8k.

Your husband has clearly been adding a lot to the remortgaging cost and/or you've been on interest only payments. I'm not sure how you wouldn't know what your payments covered each month or how much extra was bring borrowed... (sorry if you've revealed this later on I'm on page 1)

MooFroo · 08/10/2022 09:34

My friend has a nasty shock a few years ago when she discovered that her DH had remortgaged and spent the money. He’s switched from repayment to Interest only, forged her signature - only came to light after they split up!

sadly, your situation sounds like something similar may have happened - hope you get it resolved

Getoff · 08/10/2022 09:39

messybutfun · 07/10/2022 15:39

@ChickenyChick
Do you understand compound interest?
Because interest on a mortgage is not compound. Not on repayment and not on interest only either.

I initially had the same thought as you. But although I agree for the usual case where the mortgage is always paid on time, interest owed will compound if you stop actually paying it when it's due.

Actually, even if you pay the interest on time, aren't most loans structured so that the interest is charged daily? If shifting your monthly payment by a day would change the overall amount of interest you pay, then that mortgage is compounding daily, even if you make all your monthly payments on time.

Louloudaisy2020 · 08/10/2022 09:44

Sorry OP I've caught up with whole thread.

Absolutely do not let your DH 'write figures down'. Go to the lender direct and ask for everything. Go to previous lenders and ask the same.

If you've never signed for anything and its all been done behind your back, it suggest your husband has totally defrauded you. This is illegal.

sheepdogdelight · 08/10/2022 11:26

Trusting her husband seems to be what's got the op into this mess .

Having more to pay left on your mortgage than you thought you had, while you are in a good financial position and can afford to overpay is hardly a mess. Yes, it's a decision that may leave them paying more than they would otherwise have done, but it's not like they are destitute or about to lose their house.

Until OP understands exactly what has been going on with their finances, she's no idea why the mortgage was moved to interest only for a time (presumably). If they had persistent credit card debt, then maybe it was done with good intentions to allow them to live within their means and not build up more debt.

WaddleAway · 08/10/2022 11:32

sheepdogdelight · 08/10/2022 11:26

Trusting her husband seems to be what's got the op into this mess .

Having more to pay left on your mortgage than you thought you had, while you are in a good financial position and can afford to overpay is hardly a mess. Yes, it's a decision that may leave them paying more than they would otherwise have done, but it's not like they are destitute or about to lose their house.

Until OP understands exactly what has been going on with their finances, she's no idea why the mortgage was moved to interest only for a time (presumably). If they had persistent credit card debt, then maybe it was done with good intentions to allow them to live within their means and not build up more debt.

Surely if her husband had good, honest intentions he would have told her exactly what he’d done with the mortgage over the past few days, when she asked him about it?

sheepdogdelight · 08/10/2022 11:33

WaddleAway · 08/10/2022 11:32

Surely if her husband had good, honest intentions he would have told her exactly what he’d done with the mortgage over the past few days, when she asked him about it?

Show quote history

It sounds like he may have tried, but OP didn't understand what he was saying to her.

speakout · 08/10/2022 13:12

sheepdogdelight · 08/10/2022 11:33

It sounds like he may have tried, but OP didn't understand what he was saying to her.

Show quote history

It's up to the OP to educate herself with the basics so she does understand. It isn't up to her OH to teach her.
The OP is savvy enough to use a device, her writing skills are good,she needs to do some research, make it her business to understand financial own financial transactions worth many thousands of pounds.

The " don't you worry your pretty little head" approach doesn't cut it.

WaddleAway · 08/10/2022 14:03

sheepdogdelight · 08/10/2022 11:33

It sounds like he may have tried, but OP didn't understand what he was saying to her.

Show quote history

He told her they’d only taken out an extra £5k-£7k twice to cover credit card debt. That obviously cannot be true.

Learningstill · 08/10/2022 14:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

1WomanWonder · 08/10/2022 14:31

@ManyBooksLittleTime Hope you got some answers.