To resent my parents as I'm in bed poorly?

[Serena1977]

I have pneumonia again. I've always suffered from chest issues since I was a child. I had some time of school with repeated lung problems.

I left home when I was 25 and all those years including in utero I was exposed to the cigarette smoke from 2 heavy smokers.

I feel bitter. When I told my still smoker mum, she just said "oh dear, you and your weak chest". Ironically, I can't tell my dad as he died of cancer in his fifties due to his smoking. ( sad and angry)

I do know how you feel op. I lived with heavy smokers for the first 25 years of my life. I had a perpetual cough. But honestly there's no point in wasting your energy. Your mother is never going to accept responsibility.

How old are you both now? The risks weren't known years ago.

Shouldn’t you be in hospital with pneumonia? Especially if it’s something that keeps reoccurring, it would be quite bad?

I am old! But the risks were definitely known when my mother smoked. I sent off for a free stop smoking pack - provided by the NHS - for her 😂🚬

The risks have been known for decades.
no, YANBU.

The risks of smoking have been known and publicised since the 1960s.

I am with you OP. I’m in my 30s, the risks were well known by then and yet my mother smoked whilst pregnant with me and my brother and long into our teens. She has given up now and complains about smokers 🙄

Have you had your vaccine? I was given a vaccination at 38 because of repeated chest infections and finally pneumonia. They don't tend to give them at that age but I haven't had a chest infection since and I'm 50 now.

I have lung issues and my consultant said that he could see the effects of passive smoking. Everyone smoked around children, even teachers in the 70's. The effects often don't come show until you are in your 50's.

Same OP.
I'm a relatively fit 40 something but whatever cold I have very quickly destroys my chest. I've had o pneumonia twice and have never smoked myself.

Mother was a chain smoker who would drive around in a fig filled car, refusing to open the window because of the cold. Can't be a coincidence.

Not sticking up for your Mum at all, but a friend has awful chest infections. Her sister is the healthiest sibling,always has been.
Guess which one has never smoked, or been brought up around smoking.....yes the one who suffers with a weaker chest.

The sibling smokes and never suffers... she's in her mid 50s.

Sometimes it's just the luck of the draw.
Hope you feel better soon OP.

What vaccine?

Similar here, OP. I'm 64 and my mother smoked like a chimney all through my childhood - and as we lived in a tiny house with no heating upstairs, my brothers and I were more or less confined with the passive smoking for long periods of time.

My younger brother and I both have very weak chests, despite being very fit indeed (brother is ex marine and has always kept himself fit, I am a longtime runner and gym user) and any time either of us gets a cold, it always gives us a bad chest. I'm currently suffering the after-effects of what was a relatively mild Covid bout but the impact on my chest since I tested negative is ongoing.

My mother died after a painful battle with lung cancer over 5 years. She was smoking right up until they diagnosed it, a lung resection and bouts of radio and chemotherapy merely delayed her painful death.

Yes - I am resentful at what was imposed on me, too. I don't feckin' care that 'the effects of smoking weren't known in those days- it was fucking unpleasant to live with and forcing children to breathe smoke is rank.

I feel for you OP as it’s awful being so ill but I think you’re being a bit unfair to your Mum. I’m assuming by your name that you were born in 1977? Smoking households were common place then. Everyone smoked in their houses, cars, buses, restaurants, cinemas etc. I’m not saying it was right but it was normal and not seen as abusive or neglectful to smoke around your children.
You chose to stay in that smoking household until you were 25! It it bothered you that much at the time, you’d have left.

@BigSandyBalls2015 I am 45, mother is 71.

I had this too. I was born with a shadow on my lung and my dad smoked around me. I had to go to a chest clinic regularly as a child, was prone to chest infections regularly, had pneumonia etc. Makes me angry now to think of it, I had no choice but to breathe in that filth, the selfishness of smokers never fails to amaze me. Killed my dad in the end though.

@Skinnermarink

Managed to avoid hospital because GP said there is not room at the inn,only for the sickest of patients, (her words). I have multiple antibiotics and an oximeter and a very attentive DH who'll bundle me in the car if he has to.

pneumonia vaccine (series of 2) and flu vaccine

@ladywithnomanors

I hid out in my bedroom when I got to adult age waiting for a council flat which came when I was 25.

Although, I think the damage was done prior to that.

YANBU

Although I’m always so shocked watching things like call the midwife and the doctors and nurses and mothers are smoking around the babies.

Of course there are still parents who do it and I used to smoke myself (never around my DD) but it’s something that I think is such a selfish act when you can literally just stand outside and you won’t subject your kids to it.

My parents still smoke heavily. I'm almost 50 and cough like an old hag constantly because of 25 years of passive smoking. I can't forgive