To email cousin-in-law who was rude at funeral??

[bubble2000]

They made very rude comments about my absent sibling's failed first marriage of 35 years ago and snide comments about the town my elderly parents have recently moved to

My cousin was then very rude about my absent siblings children

We had made huge effort to go to the funeral and I found their attitude so upsetting and hurtful

I have drafted an email mentioning how lovely the service was and saying that btw (a) my parents are very happy in new home and (b) I really don't remember details of the brief first marriage of sibling as was so long ago

And generally wishing them well for the future

Shall I even bother to send it?

Let it go. There is no benefit to stirring this up. Avoid them in future whenever possible.

Nope.

No.

With kindness, do you really care that much? Or do you think perhaps their comments hit you more due to being more sensitive/emotional than usual? (Presumably based on you being at a funeral). If it's someone you dont see often I'd probably save myself the headache and let it go

Just do the first bit..make them feel guilty about their meanness. If we all wrote to the relatives who said stupid, rude things at family funerals we would be busy!!
They are not worth wasting time or energy on..

I wouldn't. If they are that unpleasant it won't make them see the error.

Absolutely no point

Nope.

No definitely not, you will just be feeding the troll. Let it go, do not associate with them again.

Thank you guys you are lovely ❤️❤️❤️

Write the email. Fill it with foul-mouthed rants. Then delete..

Absolutely this. Don’t send the email, just avoid them in future.

YANBU but no don't send it.

If you do they will be bitching about your email at the next family gathering.

No, you should have said something at the time. What an absolute tool they are and obviously unhappy with their lot.

I wouldn't but I'd have, very quietly, put them in their place at the time.

I mean write it out if it helps you to process what happened but I wouldn't expect any good to come from sending it. People are who they are and odds are they aren't going to change.

Yes I wish I had - think i was stunned into silence - felt unbelievably awkward

They basically have told you what an arsehole they are. I assume you have little need to interact with them?
Take the higher ground. Always

My favourite comeback to people like that is
"Oh, they speak very highly of you".
And pivot round to the next person in your eyeline.

I like that actually

dont send. They are clearly dicks who won’t change.

Happy people don’t bitch like that. Just feel sorry for them that they obviously have their own drama going on

The email will give them a great deal of pleasure as you are offering and opportunity to once again assert their superiority over your family. I totally get where you’re coming from as I’ve had this happen to me on many occasions. I said nothing, silently feeling a combination of pain and anger, which lasted over several weeks. I only ever said something back once when it involved my dd and the reaction was incendiary.

i am glad you got through the funeral ok. Now please get on with being happy.