AIBU - Is if the neighbours dog or my autism?

[MindTalks]

Morning!

I’m sat on the floor in one of my rooms to the back of my house to escape my neighbours dog. I currently work from home and have done for over a year now, but my ears cannot cope with my neighbours dog!

But I have autism and struggle very much with noises and my neighbours love a bit of noise 😅 They’ve been putting in a new kitchen for the past 6 months on/ off which I’m hoping has now stopped. They used to give updates but this stopped a few months ago. I feel a bit trapped though as if it hasn’t been building noise it’s been the dog barking/ howling. Especially as I don’t have an office based job where I can leave for most the day.

Maybe around a year ago I asked for the dog not to be left by the party wall, which the neighbour did so so but recently they’ve started leaving him by the shared walls again. The dog is a collie and neighbours have told me he’s very anxious, barking is typically a few mins every half an hour? On howling days he can be howling for hours at a time. He’s a collie and he’s left at home alone between the hours of 8:30 to 5:30, I feel really sorry for him as he must be bored/ lonely.

I’m thinking of asking the neighbours again to not leave him by the party wall, but I don’t know if I’m being over sensitive due to my autism? Especially on the barking days where it’s around every half an hour.

I was diagnosed with autism a year ago and I’ve really started to see recently how painful I find nosies. I do have noise cancelling headphones which I try to wear often, but some days it’s not always practical.

Are they aware of the frequency of the barking? Do they know its a couple of minutes every half hour? They probably have no idea.

Get a diary sheet from the council. They have powers to make them rehome the ddog if it continues..

Sorry I’m not 100% sure how to do replies I’m still learning the ropes, but I hope this works. Yes they do as we had a conversation a year ago which got he moved from the party wall. I’ve also said about the howling and shared my worries, to which they said about his anxieties. They kept the radio on for a couple weeks and moved him, but lately communication has stopped their side. They’ve been a bit stand-offish and avoid us. I’m not really sure why.

It's not you OP, it's them. Are you able to work in the office? I've been in your situation and had to rent workspace to focus.

My last neighbours were the same. I'm autistic too and we had to move house in the end. My anxiety was so bad it needed medicating. We sold the house to a yappy dog owner 😁

(When they viewed the house they asked if they could carry the yappy dog around instead of leaving her in the car. I said yes and it barked loudly for 45 mins!! I was beaming with smiles!)

Office is 45 minutes away so it’s a possibility but would probably eat into a lot of wages. It’s city centre and parking charges are criminal and then fuel prices. I’m also community based which means I could be at even event at 9am, a meeting down the road at 11am which then means it’s either driving 45 mins to work for 2 hours. Or working at home to balance school runs, being there to get my eldest off school transport and trying to balance everything in within my part time hours with next to none family help. I really like my job and it works for me, but I’m considering looking for something which means I can just leave the house.

Did you have complications moving? I really want to move but I’m worried no one will want our house.

A barking/ howling dog all day would be frustrating and exhausting for anyone. I understand how you feel a bit more, as I have misophonia and one of my triggers is barking dogs. I genuinely feel that people who are out all day working should not be allowed to have a dog as a pet. They are selfish for letting it go on, because they aren’t the ones hearing it all day. Put a noise complaint in with the council, you fill out a form over 14 days, you can’t do it anonymously, however the council cannot tell them who put in the complaint

@MindTalks this is scarily similar. I too had to change to an onsite role to save my mental health :( I missed my job but the interaction with colleagues was so fun! I've since been made redundant but looking for another onsite role for the face to face interaction.

No issues selling the house as I never complained to the council and noise is a subjective thing. Someone who works all day and goes to the gym at night may not ever notice that the dog is noisy next door.

Or, they could have parties and not give a hoot either way!

Keeping a log is pointless I’m afraid untill you tell the council they will only be interested in the dates after you report. They won’t know you reported unless you go and tell them or have a chat with them prior to reporting unless your the only attached house.

Report to the council, you've already taken the first step which is to ask them to address the issue. They have not done so.

If they were nice and approachable I'd suggest letting them know that their dog is still suffering from separation anxiety and is still making noise consistently throughout the day, but I suspect they won't do anything useful, and it won't serve any purpose other than to stress you out further.

Contact the council re noise nuisance - whilst dogs are allowed to bark briefly for things like sudden startling noises, someone at the door, playing, they aren't permitted to be a noise nuisance -it may boil down to what your local authority judges is an offence though. For some, it's continuous barking for over 5 minutes and very few dogs actually do that, they bark and pause to listen for a response, so 30 seconds barking, pause... repeat (same with howling).

Expect to have to document this noise and allow recording equipment, and it may take a while.

Councils DO have powers to take action over dog issues, but again it varies how much they will make use of those powers!