Is anyone's fear of spiders as big as mine ...

[Picturesintheclouds08]

Absolutely hate this time of year.

I absolutely dread coming across 1 and even more so hate the dreaded scared little voice of my dd saying ... mum, theres a big spider in my room. 😱😱 (this moment just happened 😫) and yep, i have passed on my fear. I was hoping not to pass it on so she would catch them for me 😉 (she is 10) No such luck.

When I see one, I normally call my sister who provides me with encouragement (through laughter) to catch it. It can take me anytime up an hour on face time to her to catch it.. one time.. there was a shoe and a mop hanging out my toilet bowl trying to knock the dreaded monster off the wall .. much to my sisters amusement

On a serious note, my fear is so bad that I can't open my windows at this time of year. I know they come from all places but with windows shut I definitely get less

I am just so scared of them. I know they are more scared of me, but that little spider fact does not in anyway reduce my fear of them.

I do have a spider spray, that I spray around all doors, windows and nooks etc and it seems to be the best one yet as I have been getting less spiders than before i was using it but I wish so badly I could eliminate them all together.

Anyone else?

I’m with you OP. The spiders that really scare me are the ones that are so big you can actually hear them tap tap tapping as they scuttle across the floor! I try not to vacuum them up though as I hate flies even more.

I was the same until I did the spider friendly course at London zoo. It was expensive - can't remember how much now, but an amount that made me think it HAD to work. It was also a long way for me to travel and a big deal all round so I was determined to make it worthwhile.

It honestly changed my life. I was tired of having this thing that could totally derail my plans, my routine, my peace of mind just out of nowhere, and made me dread my husband going away, like I was a child and scared of being left alone. But by the end of that day I picked up a spider that was very large (trying not to be too graphic) and let it walk over my hands, and when I encounter them at home now I can deal with them easily.

If you can possibly afford it (big if, I know) it's worth every penny.

@unitywardrobe yes that is the spray. I spray it around my door/windows/any gaps etc. I have found a few dead on windowsills over past couple of years since I started using it. I read you can spray a live spider and will eventually find it dead but no, I couldn't have it roaming my house,not knowing where it is.

@Howtohelp1234 I am also considering a hypnotist. I am the same. I scan the rooms looking for them. If i find one in a room, I then can't relax for fearing there is more. I have had nightmares that spiders are in my bed and woke up running (and screaming) out of my bed. I wake up thinking they are on the walls. I have been like this since I was a kid. I really do fear them and hate how much it affects me.

@BeforetheFlood well done for tackling your phobia and being so brave. I wish i could do something like that but i honestly don't think I can. Where I am, we have a zoo that has a reptile section. In that section they house spiders. I can't even walk through that bit. Maybe one day, but I don't think it will be any day soon.

Hypnosis is the answer. SIL was petrified, and she can now hold them in her hands!

Yup, my windows are on permanent lockdown, only opened if im in the room for short amounts of time. My main bedroom, I noticed a big lump above the window from the garden - no idea what it is but that window is definitely not being opened until window cleaner comes or hose pipe bans goes so I can jet spray whatever it is off.

I have a different spray from amazon that does kill them but at least slows the fast ones down. I don't mind the tiny ones I can deal with those its the big ones I don't like but I have to deal with it since I am on my own - so only way I found to reduce the number is to have my windows and doors closed as much as possible throughout October

Honestly Pictures, the course is completely designed for people like you. Anyone who isn't terrified at the thought of doing it probably doesn't need to do it iyswim! Places are quite limited - I'd say there were maybe 30 of us or something like that? so it's quite small and supportive. The first bit is a group discussion (no pressure to speak if you don't want to, I don't think I did) talking about your fear and how it affects your life. There were people there who couldn't even say the word spider, and who were seriously traumatised and incredibly nervous about what they were going to be asked to do. Several people cried. The course leaders are very prepared to deal with all levels of phobia and have a really gentle approach.

Details are here. www.zsl.org/experiences/friendly-spider-programme It's £150 which is actually less than I remembered but still a big chunk of cash to find, especially at the moment. I can honestly say it's amongst the best money I've ever spent. The word empowering is used a lot, but this was truly the most empowering thing I've ever done - liberation from a fear that had really held me back and ruined countless holidays and autumn evenings at home. (Autumn is my favourite season!) A particular incident pushed me to do it (won't describe, but it nearly unhinged me) but I'm now glad it happened and made me deal with my phobia.

My phobia of house spiders used to rule my life and that isn’t an exaggeration! I would dread this time of year and feel anxious all summer worrying about autumn when all the house spiders would appear. At this time of year I would just be constantly living in fear of seeing one, I hated being in my house and couldn’t sit down or relax from august to November every year. My house was full of crap because I was to scared of seeing a spider to ever move things or organise cupboards so once something got put somewhere it just stayed there. I even stayed in an unhappy relationship for years because I knew I would have to deal with spiders if I was in my own.

One of my dds has always been fine with spiders and will even catch the biggest ones with her hands, but my younger dd was almost as scared of them as me and I knew that every time I panicked about one I was making it worse, the last thing I wanted was for her to spend her life living in fear of something completely harmless so I decided I had to get over my phobia of them.

The starting point for me was joining a Facebook page called British Spider Identification. At first I couldn’t look at the big house spiders when that appeared on my news feed but there was smaller, and less scary spiders posted too and I would look at them, gradually I was able to look at the big spiders. I learned a lot about them from the page too which made them seem less intimidating. When my dd caught a spider I would make myself look at it and eventually I was able to hold a glass with the spider in it. Last year I was able to catch a house spider myself for the first time and It felt like such a massive achievement! Since then I have gutted my house and loft and even my shed (big spider paradise) without being terrified, I just kept a glass with me so I’m prepared.

This year was the first year that I haven’t been dreading autumn since I was a child, we have had loads of big spiders and I have caught lots myself and also just left some of them when I’ve not been able to catch them knowing they will just get on with their lives. A few years ago I wouldn’t have slept in my house if I’d known there was one on the loose somewhere! Actually looking at them still make me feel a little bit uncomfortable but I can accept that, maybe by next year I’ll be picking them up with my bare hands like dd although I can’t imagine ever being that fond of them!

My younger dd has also been gradually getting better, when we catch one we will look at it together and chat about what he might be thinking and then give him a name before we set him free outside. Everything feels a lot less terrifying than it used to, it’s definitely worth putting in the effort to get over the phobia if you can!

I spider check every room I walk in too, all year round.
If I can help it, very little is left on the floor so they have less to hide under eg bags, shoes, toys etc.
I have a 3yo boy and thankfully he is not scared (so far).
I’m managing to control my fear around him and I think that might be helping to give me
more control in general. I DREAD the big ones but slowly I’m beginning to deal with the smaller ones without retching and shaking.