To tell my DD's school she isn't doing a detention for this?

[Krank]

My daughter leaves for school every day at 7.30am to get the bus to school. Today unfortunetly the bus was late, and she ended up being 10 minutes late. They've given her a 30 minute detention for tommorow. I am going to phone her school tommorow, and have a calm word, apparently even her tutor thinks its stupid!

AIBU?

@Krank

Don't email. ring them and ask to talk to whoever set the detention or is in charge of the detentions.

Perfect, I would just always send evidence from that and the bus timetable every time.

That seems very unfair tbh, YANBU to challenge.

This is not true.

My dcs have never had a detention when their bus has been late. It's not a school bus, it's a regular bus but loads of kids get it. They have to report to reception but have never had a detention because the bus is late.

There's some petty and ridiculous people working in schools.

I would do the same. If it escalates the situation, well the governors would need to look at it. They have ultimate ability to review the discipline policy and hold staff to account for its implementation and interpretation.

There was a thread like this recently though and some MNers thought that the kids need to learn what it's like in the workplace. Forgetting of course that you can, to some extent, choose where to work and whether to rely on public transport. Kids do not have that autonomy and it is 100% wrong to blame them for public transport failings.

Yes, there a few. DS got a detention for dropping his pen, then picking it up. I think the poor teacher was at max stress levels that day, but still...

I had very similar recently. I emailed the head of year, explained the circumstances and it was all sorted.

Yanbu.

DD's school doesn't give detention for late start if it was a transport issue.

There is a few who get the same bus so school is aware they're not fobbing the teachers off as they're all arriving later.

An hour standing outside? No way.

As in, no way would my child be doing that.

Definitely say something, DS is late most days, he can only be on time if the bus is on time. His earlier bus is 40mins before, it is way too early, school gate won't be open for a long time.

Detention needs to be abolished!

It’s the worst failure of schools!

it achieves the exact opposite and will lead to more apathy and disinterest.

Children need encouragement not punishment, which detention is and it leads to nothing and is entirely wrong and mentally damaging!

YANBU. My DD travelled to school by minibus and she never received a detention if she was late into school.

YANBU. I work in secondary and get the same bus as quite a few kids, one day it didn’t arrive and neither did the 3 after it. I ended up 40 minutes late for work (no taxis/uber were free) and the students were obviously also 40 minutes late. I explained to the member of staff on the late duty what had happened and they refused to waive the detention for the students, I had to go to each head of house and explain to them to get the detentions removed. Bloody stupid when they only needed to apply a bit of common sense. I’d worked there for 6 years as well, so they knew me well.

I would definitely speak to the head of house/year and explain she’s not doing it.

Ds was given a same day 30 minute detention because he was at an appointment. I'd already called the school to let them know plus he had a pass from the office because I'd rang in the previous afternoon letting them know.
He's a generally well behaved child so didn't argue with the teacher although he did remind them he'd been at an appointment.
When I rang in the next morning at first they argued that he HAD been late so it was right that he got detention, they only apologised to him once I insisted she check the class pass that he had plus check with office staff in regards to my 2 phone calls.
He was in year 9, first time he'd ever had a detention and he was just really embarrassed more than anything else.

It’s the trouble with these inflexible discipline polices. They are unable to recognise the nuance in a situation or respond accordingly.

When you contact school, don’t just ask about this particular incident but also what they can do to ensure their policy doesn’t give lateness detentions to students who have had genuine public transport difficulties - it’s a regular thing.

This kind of thing happens when ‘the system’ issues detentions or they are issued centrally by someone who doesn’t know the individual circumstance. Better systems don’t just blanket-apply policies but can work with a policy and identify nuance to see who actually needs a detention for lateness.

Personally I would ring but also raise this wider issue in an email with Head of Year or Deputy in charge of discipline policy. You won’t have been the first to raise this kind of thing.

And in no way is this kind of communication akin to the parent who wants to wriggle their child out of a deserved detention - and you shouldn’t be seen as being equivalent to them, as this is totally different. However, initially you will probably be treated like this, because many people contacting school about detentions are in this category. School though, will know that in reality the very blunt instrument policy leads to errors being made, and like the tutor has already, acknowledges them….but not to the point of adjusting the system unfortunately!

The approach shouldn’t be ‘she’s not doing it’ - that’s the response of the parent who rejects all school discipline including perfectly reasonable discipline and is a pain in the arse.

The response should be ‘I think you’ll find the discipline policy has been unfairly applied in this case’. It’s a totally different approach, but the difference is really important.

It’s not that Op doesn’t support detentions for lateness or that she doesn’t support any discipline for her DD, but it’s about pointing out why 5is particular detention is unfair.

And added to that, if it was a one-off, you'd probably just make the time up and very little would be said about it.

I remember my form teacher trying to make an example of me (never late apart from this day). She had a training teacher so was showing off giving me a lecture about being 10m late. I told her I had actually gone out 40min early to catch a bus and 2 buses went by but were full so didn’t stop. I was actually raging at standing at the bus stop for an hour so made it clear I wasn’t taking her pish lol

And how is it not true exactly?

My experience too.
I’m convinced all common sense and reason departs their heads as they qualify. No other explanation for it apart from being dictatorial otherwise in cases like yours OP would they be happy for a child to be stood outside the school an hour early in case the bus they should be able to rely on does not turn up again - if you made your child do it they’d flag it up as an issue!

My DC's school cancels late marks if there is known heavy traffic.

As a teacher, as much I expect a parent’s support when I issue a detention for good reasons, I also expect parents to challenge (appropriately) if I’ve made a mistake.

Your child absolutely does not deserve this detention