Am I crazy or is ex being a dick

[Osirisfbf]

So I know I'm no angel in this story but I'm so upset rn I need some perspective

ex and I broke up late last year, had to stay in touch as we have young DC together.

despite breaking up we continued to sleep together purely in a fwb situation

he started seeing someone in feb, we have still been sleeping together throughout this. he assured me they weren't exclusive so wasn't a problem but that she didn't know.

I found out this month they are exclusive and have said I love you to each other. We are still sleeping together.

I found out this week that I am pregnant due to failure of contraception. I told him the next day, he didn't ring me or offer to come over or even ask if I was okay. He just said "okay we will talk about this later when I see DC"
I thought it was a bit abrupt but he was working so couldn't really speak. Turns out he wasn't working but he was at the gf's house. So he could easily have called me / come over to talk and see if I was okay but decided not to.

fast forward to today. I've decided to have a termination, I don't need to bring another baby into this mess. We have an agreement if something is important / about DC I can always call and he will answer no matter what. I called twice, I got ignored twice. I know I was ignored because I can see on WhatsApp he was online so had his phone open and didn't answer my call.

then almost an hour later he just texts "what's up?"

so first of all I give him this big news and he just doesn't care to even check in and see if I'm okay. I then try to call him twice today to talk about it and I get ignored and not even a phone call back.

is this shitty or am I losing my mind?

No sympathy for anyone else

Yes, it's shitty behaviour, but so is sleeping with someone who is in a relationship with someone else.

You've split up
You're still having sex - why?
You accept him seeing other people and still having sex with you - why?

Find your self respect - have nothing to do with him.

Communicate only factually about your children.
Go to CMS for financial support

You do realise you were just handy for sex. It's a very sad situation.

You should value yourself better than continuing to have sex with someone who doesn't want a relationship with you.

His girlfriend is being cheated on by someone she believes loves her.

You're now in the situation where you may have an abortion.

What a mess.

Decide what you want to do about the pregnancy and stop having sex with this shameful man.

Oh my what a absolute mess , he still wants to have sex with you he doesn’t want you .
Maybe he does love this gf or he thinks he does but nah not if he’s sleeping with a ex he loves and cares about nobody but himself.
You op are not much better you know he has a gf.
If you go through with this pregnancy then be prepared for the shit you are going to get .
if you don’t only you can decide and my advise end things properly with your ex and move on this isn’t healthy for anyone involved.

Dear god this is a shit show! You need to consider your options with the pregnancy Op.

She already has @GloriousGlory

fast forward to today. I've decided to have a termination, I don't need to bring another baby into this mess.

OP I'm sorry PP are being so judgemental. It's not like you knew he had a new g/f & chose to become the OW - you were already sleeping with him again before he got together with her as well.
That doesn't make it a good option for you! - but I suspect some PP are confusing you with being the OW, when in fact she is - albeit unwittingly.

However. That man is no good for you.
Close yourself off to him. He will never give you what you need. He's a horrible user. Just make sure you get child maintenance from him, be civil on handover, but have NOTHING more to do with him.
You are worth more than being treated like a tawdry afterthought.

Are you being serious, the op IS the other woman as she isn’t in a relationship with her ex she said that?! She said they are fwb so how can you say the girlfriend is the other woman? Her and her ex were sleeping together causally so she isn’t the one whose been wronged, don’t delude the op!!

Seems it’s you that’s not read it properly, she wasn’t in a relationship with him, therefore he was free to sleep with others which the op knew he was doing, she didn’t care and carried on sleeping with him, he then got a girlfriend yet the op carried on sleeping with him and you’ve decided she’s the one whose been cheated on 😂

"In a relationship with" & "shagging" are the same thing to this man @SpinningFloppa

He THEN started shagging this OW. She's the OW because she came on the scene AFTER OP. She just doesn't know she's the OW. She's no more "in a relationship" with OP's ex than OP is.

He was "in a relationship" with OP - had children with her - they split - they continued shagging. I wouldn't call being the sidepiece of a man who is still shagging his "ex" a viable relationship, personally.

The point is - as soon as OP learned about the OW, she should have protected herself (& done the decent thing for the OW) & stopped. But it's not that easy is it, when hearts & kid are involved?

Jesus, what a mess. You don’t seem to accept he’s moved on and have knowingly been the OW and lax with contraception. He’s a complete creep but you’ve behaved really shamefully too.

Get an STD test, hope the termination goes as well as it can, obviously stop shagging the twat and implement some normal boundaries around contact, limit it to essentials about the kids. He is not your friend. He’s not your boyfriend anymore and you’re not his priority. He’s never going to ditch his girlfriend to chat with you. Be realistic.

The op said herself she was fwb she isn’t claiming to be in a relationship with him, only you are 🤦🏻 Do you know what a fwb is? It also means you CAN see other people, which he was and the op knew about! He was honest with her and she continued to sleep with him her words are right there in the op “purely a fwb situation” so stop telling the op she’s been cheated on, you can’t cheat on a fwb! He started sleeping with the other woman then developed feelings for her and TOLD the op that, the op decided to still sleep with him regardless and you think it’s the op whose been wronged 🤣

He's an irresponsible, immature dick. You are too but at least you've made one responsible decision, to terminate.

Both of you need to grow up. You have a child.

You knew he had a girlfriend or a shagging partner as a minimum but still willingly slept with him? I feel most sorry for the gf and your child not you. Having sex with him wasn’t going to make him want you back it was just easy for him. Have some self respect

Yeah. That’s a whole mess. I think you’re making the right decision re the pregnancy. You absolutely need to stop sleeping with him and start treating like the ex he is.

😂😂😂
It's hilarious how much store you are setting on this man's thirdhand words @SpinningFloppa .

What point are you trying to make, & more interestingly - why?!
Own up - it's just because you want to give the OP a moral kicking, innit?
the op decided to still sleep with him regardless and you think it’s the op whose been wronged

OP's ex is a lowlife, who cares what he SAYS he's told this other woman? His "feelings" for her will change as soon as his next shag comes along. Maybe he'll even impregnate them, & pretend they are The Only One for a while ...

OP - I would walk away from That Man & this thread if I were you. If you still need support, try the Relationships board - AIBU is a bearpit & you are mainly just getting sanctimonious attacks here.

You are the only one who has this opinion so you are clearly on your own 🤦🏻‍♀️ The op said they were purely fwb nothing more. You have decided to tell the op she was in a relationship and he cheated on her despite her own words, the op admits he was only a fwb, admits she knew he was sleeping with others and admits she slept with him regardless of him telling her he is now in a relationship with someone and loves them, you are the on your own with your opinion! Literally no one else on the thread agrees with you 😂

she slept with him regardless of him telling her he is now in a relationship with someone and loves them
😂 Yup he's SO IN LOVE with this other woman that his nob accidentally fell into the mother of his children. I'm sure OP is TOTALLY responsible for that, while he - the poor lovelorn innocent - escapes your ire.

You have decided to tell the op she was in a relationship and he cheated on her
Did I? News to me ...

Literally no one else on the thread agrees with you
How can you be so sure, as you seem so confused about what I've actually written?

Anyway - can you stop tagging me & inventing stuff you reckon I've said now please? - it's getting tedious.

You really are winding yourself up aren’t you 🤣

I have absolutely zero sympathy for either you or him. You are both as shitty as each other.